Weekend...

A fairly uneventful weekend. Well if you discount the drunken twattiness of Friday night, and the general dissatisfaction with my life on Saturday!! As I said, I struggled a little this weekend with DM stuff, but pleased to say that I'm back to normal twattiness now! I guess every day that goes by I come closer to forgetting, and every bad day I have moves me further down the great path of recovery, whether I want to go there or not!!

Anyway, the weekend... Went out Saturday night with CM to a friend's son's 18th birthday party!!! I ask you!!! Only went because it was also my friend Disco's birthday, so wanted to see her of course. Fortunately for us, she left early due to some boyfriend stuff, so we managed to escape the joy of a club full of 18yr olds enjoying trance, drum and bass, house, hip hop and god knows what other sort of music I am far too old for!

CM and I saw M and KD at the party, then hooked up with them again when we left (they had lasted even less time than we did!), and went to my favourite divey pub. And actually, we had a really good time. Well I vertainly did and that's what's important :-)

I have to say I absolutely adore being the only female in a group of men that I know and like. I love it, love it, love it! You just get treated so nicely, but at the same time get to indulge in plenty of laddish behaviour. And all three of these boys are great blokes! Even KD, who can be a bit of a self deprecating moany sod sometimes, was on top form. Laughing and chatting and dancing. And M was keeping us very entertained with some cheeky piss takey dance moves and lots of dry humour.

Man, he is a cocky, cheeky, arrogant little fucker, but I just love that. And I have to admit to a tiny bit of flirting... (okay, a whole lot of flirting, considering CM was about and I didn't want to take the piss!!). And although I was a bit concerned about how we would be, considering a couple of weeks ago when I saw him and it was awkward to say the least, Saturday night it was actually really good. In fact, better than really good. We had a bit of a chat and then lapsed straight back into the banter and how we used to be. Which is all good!!

And there is definitely still a chemistry vibe there. And a couple of times I felt that CM was aware of that, and aware of the fact that much as me and him get on, there isn't the same kind of underlying sexual tension there. And don't get me wrong, that is all it is! But what was interesting, was that 2 different people came over to the 4 of us during the night (that they knew but I didn't) and asked if I was M's girlfriend!! So, it's obviously not just me that picked up on it.

So, there was some mild flirting with me and M, a bit of suggestive chat, the spoken acknowledgement of our past and the hint that we are probably not done yet. And that was how it was left, which is very cool with me!

I don't think M would push it while I am still seeing CM, but there is definite possibility for the future. And I like that. Bad bad girl that I am. In fact, I was naughty enough to text M when I got home (who'd made a point of asking if CM was staying over that night), just saying "Night ;-)". He texted back "You be careful", to which I replied "I'm always careful!". Interesting. Very very interesting!!

Another good thing that came out of Saturday night is that M asked CM how he felt about me. Which made me brace myself for the worst when he told me later, but in fact CM said he thinks 'I'm a really great girl but he's not sure it's the right time for him'.

Oh the relief! I feel much more relaxed about the situation now I know he's not falling or investing too much in the situation, and I figure it's cool for us to just enjoy each other's company and the shag until we're not enjoying it anymore. And I think that's probably where he's at too. (I have to admit to dropping a few vague comments into the conversation Sunday morning that implied I didn't expect us to be a forever situation - well never let it be said I lead people on!!)

So, all in all a mixed weekend. I survived Friday night and Saturday, I enjoyed Saturday night and had an okay Sunday. I guess ups and downs are what it's all about!