Success

So, after a 5hr assessment centre, involving psychometric testing, written exercise, presentation, group exercise, role play and formal interview, I got the job!

Not entirely sure I want it to be fair, but career girl is the path I'm on so time to pull up my big girl pants and expect a continuation of the current minimum 50hr weeks for the next 6months at least...

Only 1215 weeks to retirement :-)

Moving on up... (maybe!)

Big job interview tomorrow, for the next step up the career ladder!  Can't say I'm desperate for it, but its the next logical step, and the successful candidate will be my immediate line manager if I dont get it, so I have a vested interest. Particularly considering one of my competitors is a twat, and I could not bear to have him!!

That said, I am currently procrastinating instead of getting on with my presentation, or updating my change management and management style knowledge...!

Joining the masses

It's official!  For the first time in my adult life, I am now officially unemployed!

Feels very odd and its only day 1!

Initial plans are to sleep for a week, lol - particularly as I've had a really nasty virus/chest infection since last weekend, and then to reflect, assess, and plan for the future!!

I'll be okay money wise for at least 6 months, if I'm slightly sensible (not a usual trait - eek!), so will see what new challenges life brings, and spend the next few months having a bit of me time, hitting the gym, and making my beautiful house even more beautiful!  Plus a bit of work in the garden. After all, you have to have a little bit of fun with a redundancy payment :-)

PS.  Reykjavik was FABULOUS!!  Go, immediately!!!

Possibilities

Services Manager job for local drug services, £45k starting salary...  think I might just give that a shot!

Oh, and...

... should just say that I am now officially 'at risk' so will know by end Feb whether I have a job or will be paid off.  Am pretty okay with either - no point stressing!

Also, a new potential onliner - can't think of a name for him.  Will see if he's worth naming, lol.
Ciao again!

PS. Twitter name Ordinary_Girl

A change is as good as a rest?

Well, after fighting the battle of increasing public sector cuts for the last few years, it appears the sword has fallen!  I learned today that the service I have managed for the last 6 years will be closed early next year!  Quite what happens job wise for me is currently uncertain, but what is definite is that are challenging, but interesting times ahead!

The fucked off continues...

I am so, so fucked off with work right now! If it wasn't for the fact that I have utmost respect, liking and loyalty to the team, I'd be wailing 'work-related stress' and getting a free pass out of their for a few months!

After months of not knowing what was happening in the new financial year, the service finally got the go ahead about a month ago, and the great news was that the big wigs were not only positive about continuation, but also willing to go with promotion and expansion. So, since then I've been mad pushing ahead, emailing every other relevant service to say we are going to be here and are going strong, wheeling and dealing to get clients in and services expanded, and finally feeling like I'm going somewhere.

Just as I'm told this week that actually there is no money and we're likely to close in 3 months tops! I'm so fucked off I cant tell you! Plus, its not absolutely decided what is going to happen, so I don't want to share it with the team until I know, and that's really difficult. It's all just shit!

Welcome to the brave new world of the NHS!

Labour and toil

I am so over work this week! I am just absolutely sick to death of it. Well, of bloody big wigs swooping in and messing up plans that have taken ages to get into place (as a result of other big wigs being complete arseholes!). It just amazes me that so-called professionals can behave the way some of them do and get away with it! I am just so fed up with it all.

On a good note, its Friday tomorrow. Yippee!! And Saturday brings a Murder Mystery night out in the local town with a few mates and the girls from work, which should be a good giggle, and will at least stand me in good stead for the continuing work hell to come!

TGIF

Thank goodness it's Friday. I have had a hellish week at work, despite the fact that I was (supposedly) off yesterday - although spent the first 3 hours of the day dealing with stuff by phone. But hey, its Friday!!! Sod work!

My baby, X, is off to France tomorrow to spend two weeks with Lily and family, and it will be the longest she has been gone from home. I'm really looking forward to it, though that may make me sound like a heartless mother - I am sure I will miss her a little, but to be able to just have to worry about me and Y (who desn't need a great deal of looking after!) will be absolute bliss.

Pastures new?

I have a job interview on Tuesday. I am not sure if this is good or bad...? I'll dwell for a while.

Hooky

I am shamelessly skiving today! It's not something I do very often but every now and then I just need some time completely to myself - house empty, phone off, kids away. Time to catch up, focus, regroup from the everyday hassle and struggle of kids, money, work, life.

I should have had a weekend to myself (well half, Y was here) this weekend, as X was due to go to her Dad's for both Friday and Saturday night, and I was looking forward to peace and quiet and cracking on with my research proposal, which is not going at the moment. However, the best laid plans and all that - come 6pm Friday when I went to collect her from afterschool club (late!) she felt poorly. Headache, shivery, fever, etc. So I rang her Dad and said she was unwell, took her home, dosed her with paracetamol, comfy blankets, cosy pyjamas and cuddles before putting her to bed and resigning myself to a one night alone only weekend.

Saturday morning dawned bright and breezy, as did she, so I text to see what time he would be picking her up, only for him to decide that as he can't afford time off work she better not come until she's fully better! Oh, the luxury of stepping out of parenting when it doesn't quite fit!! So, bang went the weekend of studying in peace.

I had pretty much decided before I went to bed last night that I would have today and tomorrow off work, as my assignment is due Wednesday, however, as I opened my extension paperwork today to realise I've been given until 10th for my assignment, I now have the peace, the quiet and no motivation to finish. Instead, I have spent the morning catching up on paperwork, putting the bills back in order that had lapsed over Christmas and updating a finance spreadsheet to help me bring down the debt! I'm currently paying nearly £500 a month in debt - just think what I could do with that money if it was all paid off!?

So, today I am relaxing! And I don't care! Let the study commence tomorrow.

Blue

Don't know what's up with me today, but am just feeling really down. In fact, am having a little cry :-(

The day started well - got up to lots of lovely snow, one school open, one school closed. So off X toddled and Y came to work with me, as I had a strategic meeting that I chair that I couldn't really cancel. Took me an hour to drive the usual 20 minute journey to work, purely as a result of crap driving I'm sure, as there were no break downs or crashes on the 10 mile route! But I was still feeling pretty chipper, and me and Y were having a little chin wag and trying to overtake cars and so on.

So eventually get to work, and meeting starts at 10.30. I must just say that it is a meeting that I absolutely hate, bi monthly, completely pointless, consists of me talking and other people agreeing and then 2 hours later they leave and I do. But today, I was feeling positive, I had a new action agenda format - was clear what I wanted to discuss, was clear what outcomes I wanted, etc etc. And it just turned out to be same old same old - I get so disheartened by it. I just want to get on and do, and to get support from other professionals in a multi agency partnership! But no, same old same old. I nearly cried. Twice. In the meeting.

I think that, plus the combination of money stress, plus the fact my Masters assignment is late, plus the Christmas build up - and probably the time of the month, have resulted in sadness.

But, have jacked off the rest of the day, picked X up, done shopping, come home, sent X and Y out to play in the snow, and think my pyjamas, a long Lush bath, a glass of wine and a little cry is on my agenda for the next few hours. Would happily make it my agenda for the entire evening but my sister and brother in law are coming later and staying over for Christmas Bowling tomorrow morning so better get it out of the way first!

Tomorrow is another day! Good job really!!

Funny old day

Today has been one of the worst, and also one of the best days (well not quite one of the best, but you get the idea!)

I spent the morning sitting in on the Judge's summing up of a rape trial against one of our clients from work. A colleague has been sitting in, and supporting the client and her mum for the past two days, but couldn't attend today so myself and a different colleague went instead. It's been a difficult week really, not least to sit in the public gallery and learn that he his previous 3 accusations and trials of the exact same offence against 3 other women, which is information ruled to not be appropriate to share with the jury. The trial has been extremely difficult for her, as any rape trial is, and of course compounded by the fact she is a street sex worker especially trying. That said, for once, at least, it was investigated and prosecuted thoroughly and she didnt get too hard a time of it in the stand, presenting herself incredibly well and very clearly, with several witnesses, including police and ambulance immediately after the event supporting how distressed she was and that she had injuries. He, on the other hand, gave completing conflicting and implausible evidence. The defence was reasonably feeble, and in his summing up the Judge, in our opinion, seemed to definitely favour her testimony. So, after summing up we left the court and awaited the verdict.

Several hours later, whilst in a meeting, I get a text to say "Not guilty!!". I have to say, I was speechless, genuinely stunned to be honest, and also completely gutted - as we all are. God only knows how she and her mum will be feeling!! It has been a completely, completely disheartening experience. We spend so much time trying to encourage women to report offences, and I even go and deliver training to Detective Sergeants and Detective Inspectors on treating sex workers as victims so to have an incident get to the point of getting to trial, only for that outcome is just so so disappointing. I think we all left work this evening more sombre than we've been in a long time. For us, for our client, and for the next victim of an obvious serial sex offender.

I just wanted to get home, put my feet up, drink a bottle of wine and forget about the day not to mention the fact that I have a 3000 word MA research assignment due on Wednesday, already with a weeks extension. However, X had a school disco I had promised her she could attend, so I dragged myself out, after a quick dinner, at 6.30pm to drop her and her friend off.

I was just driving away when I spotted JB, an old male friend that I must have known for 20 years! We have always been friends, who had a brief one night fling years ago - I think even before I had X, though it may have been after, and have continued in much the same way regardless of this. I don't see him very often, in fact I think the last time was some time in the summer, again at school, as his youngest goes to school with X, but we do catch up on facebook reasonably frequently. He is always a great person to see as he is just simply lovely, and will always say how nice I look and that I'm great, etc etc. Just a real feel good person to run into, with always just a hint of potential. I know the last time I saw him I definitely felt that something more physical was a possibility from my side, though I would never go out of my way to pursue it with him. Its just one of those things.

So, I pulled over and he hopped in the car for a quick word, and after 10 mins I said sod this, lets just go to the pub (he was going back to until the disco finished anyway) and have a few drinks and a catch up. So thats what we did. And it was just lovely to see him. We chatted about random past stuff, random current stuff, and a few cheeky comments about how come we never got together before going back to get the respective kids and I took them home. As he went to go we did the obligatory hug - he is a fabulous hugger, a real bear hug kind of guy - and a kiss on the cheek, with promises to catch up soon, etc. No different from the normal times we catch up, where we always promise to catch up soon and invariably never do until we randomly bump into each other again.

But, just as he went to go he kissed me. Nothing overtly sexual, no tongues or anything like that, but full on the mouth, with a tiny hint of open, for a good 3 seconds. It was odd, it was unexpected, but it was so incredibly nice. I keep pursing my lips at the memory and smiling to myself. It may go nowhere, as usual, and I am sure I will be absolutely fine with that, but nonetheless it was one of the nicest, if briefest, experiences I have had just lately. And my day, whilst all the crap has not been forgotten, is now ending on a very different note.

Justice

Today has been a very bad day. Justitia has not been served.

Get me!

I spent today schmoozing with a particular female Shadow Minister who came to visit my service - oh I am so fabulous!! :-)

Farewell Bridey

Yesterday was The Bride's last day at work before she heads off to have a baby in 3 weeks, so last night X went to sleep at Lily's, and the evening saw the gaggle of us in a gorgeous Italian restaurant in the town where I work, with piles of fabulous food loaded onto the table. Unfortunately I wasn't feeling well, so I had a tomato and onion salad and ate only a handful of that, plus a taste of CJ's monkfish - most annoying when everything looked so good! On the bright side though, it did mean my meal only cost me a fiver, which is good as it meant I had a whole £15 for shopping today!!

It was a good night, and everybody had a good time, but I am very sad to be losing her for 9 months (assuming I am still there when she comes back in July!). She has really been my rock in the last 3 years I've been there, and is such a strong, supportive and knowledgeable member of the team that we will all feel her absence. It just won't be the same without her.

That said, I will definitely be seeing lots of her, as I already do out of work - particularly as her son is a year younger than X so we share a lot of holiday childcare, that and she's always willing to cook sunday dinner for us all, being one of these people that can't sit still for more than 15 minutes! Regardless of work, I am sure she will always be a good friend of mine, and at my age, that is something to be grateful for!

Time flies

The days are just rushing by at the minute! Work is manic, and quite stressful at the minute, so consuming much of my waking hours, and by the time I get home in the evening it's as much as I can do to loll on the sofa in front of the telly! That's what you get for only working half of the summer holidays...

I need to catch up with myself.

Chugging along

Well, things are pottering on quite nicely at the moment. Nothing of particular excitement to report unfortunately, but equally it's quite nice to have some emotional calm time. That said, work is hectic at the moment, especially with the school holidays, which means operating a service for the next six weeks on just 2 staff! However, as I'm having over 3 weeks off in total I can't really complain ;-)

Keeping the wolf from the door...

I am blessed with my job, that I mostly love it - and although there are some dull days, and some stressful days, my colleagues are pretty great, and generally no two days are the same.

Take today, for example...

Myself and Bridie were doing our monthly visit to the countywide brothels, dishing out condoms, lube, sponges and friendly chatter, when we went to the local Thai place, which for those of you who have never visited, is in keeping with most Thai brothels with big huge jacuzzi style baths.

So... it's was about 3000 degrees hot and we're absolutely melting, getting in and out of the furnace temperature car oven, and walking when we couldn' t park, so I jokingly said "Oh, perhaps we should stay here and get in one of those big baths".

Well, fuck me when one of the women's faces lit up and she came towards me saying "Yes, yes, you get in bath!"

You should have seen my face, and Bridie's (as I nearly knocked her over in my rush to leave!), as we muttered a "Must dash - see you next month", and scarpered.

You gotta love my job!

Back up

So, it's been a while...

Jenn came, she saw, she survived! It was good to meet her, and we all had a great time in Blah as I know Vi and Jenn have described.

Since then, my work team won yet another regional award (health this time!), which meant a swanky night out in posh frocks and gorgeous new leopard print shoes, and we are now waiting to hear if we have been shortlisted nationally. Fingers crossed all.

The house now has grass in the back and flowers in the front. Yay!! So just the drive to do now I think. Roll on builders!

Not much else to tell I don't think! Well, I did spend Friday night out with The Bride and a whole bunch of lovely policemen... but nah, no gossip I'm afraid!