Bizarrely I recieved the following text from an unknown number this afternoon...
"Hi babes hows your sex life, there is a space in my bed tonight all u need is your toothbrush babe, just bring u, no night cloths needed."
I have no idea who it was, though if I had to put money on someone it would be M. That said, its been eons since I've heard from him so unlikely. Whoever it was obviously wasnt impressed that I responded with "Who is this?" and didnt reply. Either that or somebody is very embarrassed to have got a wrong number...
Showing posts with label M. Show all posts
Showing posts with label M. Show all posts
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Men!
M texted me in the early hours of the morning a couple of Sundays ago. Maybe last Sunday - to be honest I don't remember! A simply "Hello", no doubt a precursor to a potential booty call. I ignored it at the time and replied simply the next morning with "Hello" also. He didn't respond, I was neither surprised or bothered. That's a boat thats long since sailed!
Last night, around 12.30am I get a further text from him - "Hello havent spoke 2 u in ages how r u". I ignored it again, and turned my phone off as I was already in bed. This morning, to be polite, and as it seemed more than just a potential booty call, I replied " Hello yourself. I did reply to your text the other weekend but didn't hear back. I'm fine thanks. Working too hard and not been out for ages so very dull! How are you doing?". Yet again, nothing! Too fucking rude.
Last night, around 12.30am I get a further text from him - "Hello havent spoke 2 u in ages how r u". I ignored it again, and turned my phone off as I was already in bed. This morning, to be polite, and as it seemed more than just a potential booty call, I replied " Hello yourself. I did reply to your text the other weekend but didn't hear back. I'm fine thanks. Working too hard and not been out for ages so very dull! How are you doing?". Yet again, nothing! Too fucking rude.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
By the by
Think I may have pissed M off!
He has text every weekend since the last time I saw him, (and once in the week too), and I have either been busy or have not been up for seeing him. For various reasons. I always reply though, and ask how he is, etc etc and explain what the score is.
Last weekend he texted 3 times over the space of an hour and tried to call me also, concluding with "so you don't want anything to do with me then?". I was in bed and had my phone switched off, and didn't bother to respond the next day.
Last night he texted again "So aren't you talking to me anymore then?", so I responded telling him of course I was still speaking to him, had been in bed last week, etc. After a couple of these "how are you" type texts he asks if I fancy a booty call before I go away. I was in the process of covering my head in nit lotion (delightful children!!) at the time, so replied telling him that, and then received yet more texts enquiring if I had somebody else, etc etc and culminating in telling me he had "got the message".
I tell you, if women went around behaving like that - we'd be called bunny boilers!!
He has text every weekend since the last time I saw him, (and once in the week too), and I have either been busy or have not been up for seeing him. For various reasons. I always reply though, and ask how he is, etc etc and explain what the score is.
Last weekend he texted 3 times over the space of an hour and tried to call me also, concluding with "so you don't want anything to do with me then?". I was in bed and had my phone switched off, and didn't bother to respond the next day.
Last night he texted again "So aren't you talking to me anymore then?", so I responded telling him of course I was still speaking to him, had been in bed last week, etc. After a couple of these "how are you" type texts he asks if I fancy a booty call before I go away. I was in the process of covering my head in nit lotion (delightful children!!) at the time, so replied telling him that, and then received yet more texts enquiring if I had somebody else, etc etc and culminating in telling me he had "got the message".
I tell you, if women went around behaving like that - we'd be called bunny boilers!!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
A long week
It has been such a long, long week. I can't believe I haven't posted since Tuesday but I just have not had a minute to myself.
Work has been manic, due to minimum staffing levels as a result of easter, end of financial year, budgets, service level agreements, squabbling about services required and how much we'll pay for them, and a steering group meeting to organise and chair on top of that, and will be manic for at least the week to come also, as I have organised an event I anticipated about 25 people coming to, and have now had about 70 responses. Aaaargh!!!
As a consequence of all of this, I worked from home on Wednesday night until 2am, then worked all day Thursday, did outreach Thursday night, got home and 11.30pm and then more work on the pc until 2am again, at work all day on Friday. By Friday evening I was so exhausted that I literally picked up X and then had to lay down before I fell down. Woke up about 7pm, by a text, and managed to rouse myself for the rest of the evening, during which the most I could manage was the sofa and tv.
Saturday was spent at swimming lessons for X (no SPM for the third week in a row !), then a wander down town to buy new school sandals for X and books for my bookworm Y. Was out last night with Meg, Straight and (later) Lena, for a very quiet night in The Nun, which was practically empty. I did get a booty call from M, but couldn't really be bothered to follow it up, so replied but didn't encourage it. What a good girl I am :-)
So that's about it for my weekend. Have spent today catching up on some reading, which is something I haven't done enough of lately, pottering around doing some cleaning and washing, and getting ready to be back at school/work tomorrow. I have got a folder of work which I should really be doing, to get a heads up before tomorrow, but to be honest, I'm feeling much more inclined to catch up with goings on in Blogland, and still have my second fabulous bloggy link to do.
Hopefully things will quieten down by the end of this week, and then only a fortnight until I go to Vegas!!! I can't believe it has come round this quick. Less than 3 weeks and I will be in America! Yay!
Work has been manic, due to minimum staffing levels as a result of easter, end of financial year, budgets, service level agreements, squabbling about services required and how much we'll pay for them, and a steering group meeting to organise and chair on top of that, and will be manic for at least the week to come also, as I have organised an event I anticipated about 25 people coming to, and have now had about 70 responses. Aaaargh!!!
As a consequence of all of this, I worked from home on Wednesday night until 2am, then worked all day Thursday, did outreach Thursday night, got home and 11.30pm and then more work on the pc until 2am again, at work all day on Friday. By Friday evening I was so exhausted that I literally picked up X and then had to lay down before I fell down. Woke up about 7pm, by a text, and managed to rouse myself for the rest of the evening, during which the most I could manage was the sofa and tv.
Saturday was spent at swimming lessons for X (no SPM for the third week in a row !), then a wander down town to buy new school sandals for X and books for my bookworm Y. Was out last night with Meg, Straight and (later) Lena, for a very quiet night in The Nun, which was practically empty. I did get a booty call from M, but couldn't really be bothered to follow it up, so replied but didn't encourage it. What a good girl I am :-)
So that's about it for my weekend. Have spent today catching up on some reading, which is something I haven't done enough of lately, pottering around doing some cleaning and washing, and getting ready to be back at school/work tomorrow. I have got a folder of work which I should really be doing, to get a heads up before tomorrow, but to be honest, I'm feeling much more inclined to catch up with goings on in Blogland, and still have my second fabulous bloggy link to do.
Hopefully things will quieten down by the end of this week, and then only a fortnight until I go to Vegas!!! I can't believe it has come round this quick. Less than 3 weeks and I will be in America! Yay!
Sunday, April 08, 2007
An aside
After getting in at 1am last night from a pretty disappointing evening with Jay, I then get a booty call from M at 1.30am.
I wish men could be bloody consistent!!
PS. I declined. (Though politely. Of course!!)
I wish men could be bloody consistent!!
PS. I declined. (Though politely. Of course!!)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
I am OG, hear me roar ...
What a funny, funny random evening! Went out with girly mates tonight, with nothing more exciting planned than a simple night around the home town, to start after picking up Bea at just after 8 and then heading for Meg Ryan and Straight Mate before a crawl round the various local establishments.
In the middle of the afternoon old friend Lena text to say where we out tonight as she fancied a girly night out, so ever the one to oblige I arranged to pick her up from the village pub where she works just out of town around 8, and then head on as above. When I got to the pub I text to tell her I was in the car park and she rang and asked me to come in for one. As the others were all expecting me I told her no and said I'd wait a minute while she finished her drink. Pretty much straight away I spotted in my rear view mirror this very attractive man heading my way. I wound down the window.
"Are you OG?"
"Yep"
"You have to come in for one. Come on!"
"Okay, if I must!"
Some very brief banter followed in the walk across the car park, during which he said he was so pleased I was coming he'd even written my name on his arm! It later transpired he has OG tattooed on his arm - one of those home made tattoos that so many men of a certain age and a probably dubious background have! (How weird is that?!)
As we walked in he was talking to a kid, that seemed to belong to him, (it is his), and after just a few minutes of being in there he put his arm round the girl standing next to him and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I'm just thinking, "damn", first fit bloke who's taken my eye as a potential for a while and he's married with a kid and about to introduce me to his wife! Two minutes later she introduces herself, and her girlfriend of 2 years sitting behind her. Result!!
Anyway, after being introduced to him properly (and discovering not only is he single but also looking for a relationship), as well as the others, who all seemed a good crowd, Lena and I ended up staying at the pub until just before 9, generally having a laugh with the locals, and I spent some time chatting (and flirting ever so slightly!) with him. I was thanking my lucky stars that I had made some effort before going out, because he is truly, truly scrummy, and the first man I have met for a long while that has the air of real potential about him! Tall, dark, average build, late 30's (I think!) and good looking in that not-too-pretty-but-trendy-enough way that I like best. He also seems funny, cheeky and a bit of geezer, but a geezer with plenty of money by the looks of things. He ordered 2 bottles of champagne without batting an eyelid (or making a big show of it!) just before I left!
Lena kept telling me he really liked me (although she was pissed and loved up with a different fella, so I don't really trust her word!), and he did seem to be pretty interested. At one point when we were talking about cooking said "So, when do you want to go out for dinner then?", which I just laughed off. Lena was desperate for us to stay for the rest of the night, which I was quite keen on, but I'd already arranged to see the other girls and wouldn't let them down just like that so eventually I dragged her out of there. I said goodbye to him as I was leaving and went to do the standard double air kissing thing, and was quite surprised when he gave me a really big hug too! I returned the hug and kept it friendly and flirty with "Nice to meet you, might well see you again some time", to which he replied "I hope so!" All good there then, but I kept it very cool with "Maybe!". So, methinks I shall be heading over the village pub very soon!
Finally picked Bea up, and caught up with Meg and Straight in hometown where we went on our merry way. I must have been wearing that mystical Eau De Whore, because I was pulling in some serious looking, then a few pubs in who should I bump into but M! (The old fuck buddy that never really kicked off as a fuck buddy!). I went over to him and KD and said a few words to them, though not a lot to him as I thought he was being a bit standoffish. Carried on around the town when he turned up in the local dive around 1am. He only said a curt hello on the way past to the gents, which I thought was a bit odd, but not that big a deal, but then he just ignored me on the way back. Meg just gave me a look that said 'strange!', I nodded and carried on with the dancing and singing as before.
A short while later he came up again, and said "Are you ignoring me?". I was completely confused, and was like "What you on about? I thought you were ignoring me!!" He said that I had spoken to KD in the other pub but had only said a brief hello to him and he thought I was being off with him?! What the fuck! Anyway, we spent the rest of the night chatting and having a laugh and blatantly flirting with each other, while talking about us in the summer and the situation with CM etc, and then we all left together. I dropped Meg off home (Bea, Straight and Lena had all already gone), then headed to drop KD off and finally M. As I was running really late for my sitter, after I had dropped KD, M said he would come back to mine and call a taxi.
We sat chatting for about fifteen minutes about this and that, and then I figured I really ought to offer him a drink so went to put the kettle on. He came into the kitchen and we were still talking, and the next thing I know we were kissing. And man, does he kiss fucking nicely!! To cut a long story short we ended up shagging, (which although wasn't fireworks and earth moving, was remarkably good considering the let down of the previous times) and then he called a taxi.
I'm cool with the whole M thing. I think it's one of those "right time, right place" kind of things, and I did enjoy it. I really don't think I am going to be actively seeking a repeat performance but I'm not against the idea of it happening again. And I had forgotten how fucking great his kissing is!!
On the whole M is only a pleasant interlude while I'm single, though if I have my way, that status may all be about to change in the not too distant future...
Update:
Lena popped round for a while after work this afternoon to update me on the Jay situation. Apparently he spent all afternoon asking after me, and what I'd said about him. Ah bless! We are supposed to be spending Saturday night over there, which I'm looking forward to but is going to take some planning this weekend, with mate Jane over from New Zealand for a month and staying with me for Easter, and a promised day out with my Dad on Easter Sunday!! Damn the timing of it all!
PS. Apparently he brought the champagne especially to impress me! Bless!
In the middle of the afternoon old friend Lena text to say where we out tonight as she fancied a girly night out, so ever the one to oblige I arranged to pick her up from the village pub where she works just out of town around 8, and then head on as above. When I got to the pub I text to tell her I was in the car park and she rang and asked me to come in for one. As the others were all expecting me I told her no and said I'd wait a minute while she finished her drink. Pretty much straight away I spotted in my rear view mirror this very attractive man heading my way. I wound down the window.
"Are you OG?"
"Yep"
"You have to come in for one. Come on!"
"Okay, if I must!"
Some very brief banter followed in the walk across the car park, during which he said he was so pleased I was coming he'd even written my name on his arm! It later transpired he has OG tattooed on his arm - one of those home made tattoos that so many men of a certain age and a probably dubious background have! (How weird is that?!)
As we walked in he was talking to a kid, that seemed to belong to him, (it is his), and after just a few minutes of being in there he put his arm round the girl standing next to him and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I'm just thinking, "damn", first fit bloke who's taken my eye as a potential for a while and he's married with a kid and about to introduce me to his wife! Two minutes later she introduces herself, and her girlfriend of 2 years sitting behind her. Result!!
Anyway, after being introduced to him properly (and discovering not only is he single but also looking for a relationship), as well as the others, who all seemed a good crowd, Lena and I ended up staying at the pub until just before 9, generally having a laugh with the locals, and I spent some time chatting (and flirting ever so slightly!) with him. I was thanking my lucky stars that I had made some effort before going out, because he is truly, truly scrummy, and the first man I have met for a long while that has the air of real potential about him! Tall, dark, average build, late 30's (I think!) and good looking in that not-too-pretty-but-trendy-enough way that I like best. He also seems funny, cheeky and a bit of geezer, but a geezer with plenty of money by the looks of things. He ordered 2 bottles of champagne without batting an eyelid (or making a big show of it!) just before I left!
Lena kept telling me he really liked me (although she was pissed and loved up with a different fella, so I don't really trust her word!), and he did seem to be pretty interested. At one point when we were talking about cooking said "So, when do you want to go out for dinner then?", which I just laughed off. Lena was desperate for us to stay for the rest of the night, which I was quite keen on, but I'd already arranged to see the other girls and wouldn't let them down just like that so eventually I dragged her out of there. I said goodbye to him as I was leaving and went to do the standard double air kissing thing, and was quite surprised when he gave me a really big hug too! I returned the hug and kept it friendly and flirty with "Nice to meet you, might well see you again some time", to which he replied "I hope so!" All good there then, but I kept it very cool with "Maybe!". So, methinks I shall be heading over the village pub very soon!
Finally picked Bea up, and caught up with Meg and Straight in hometown where we went on our merry way. I must have been wearing that mystical Eau De Whore, because I was pulling in some serious looking, then a few pubs in who should I bump into but M! (The old fuck buddy that never really kicked off as a fuck buddy!). I went over to him and KD and said a few words to them, though not a lot to him as I thought he was being a bit standoffish. Carried on around the town when he turned up in the local dive around 1am. He only said a curt hello on the way past to the gents, which I thought was a bit odd, but not that big a deal, but then he just ignored me on the way back. Meg just gave me a look that said 'strange!', I nodded and carried on with the dancing and singing as before.
A short while later he came up again, and said "Are you ignoring me?". I was completely confused, and was like "What you on about? I thought you were ignoring me!!" He said that I had spoken to KD in the other pub but had only said a brief hello to him and he thought I was being off with him?! What the fuck! Anyway, we spent the rest of the night chatting and having a laugh and blatantly flirting with each other, while talking about us in the summer and the situation with CM etc, and then we all left together. I dropped Meg off home (Bea, Straight and Lena had all already gone), then headed to drop KD off and finally M. As I was running really late for my sitter, after I had dropped KD, M said he would come back to mine and call a taxi.
We sat chatting for about fifteen minutes about this and that, and then I figured I really ought to offer him a drink so went to put the kettle on. He came into the kitchen and we were still talking, and the next thing I know we were kissing. And man, does he kiss fucking nicely!! To cut a long story short we ended up shagging, (which although wasn't fireworks and earth moving, was remarkably good considering the let down of the previous times) and then he called a taxi.
I'm cool with the whole M thing. I think it's one of those "right time, right place" kind of things, and I did enjoy it. I really don't think I am going to be actively seeking a repeat performance but I'm not against the idea of it happening again. And I had forgotten how fucking great his kissing is!!
On the whole M is only a pleasant interlude while I'm single, though if I have my way, that status may all be about to change in the not too distant future...
Update:
Lena popped round for a while after work this afternoon to update me on the Jay situation. Apparently he spent all afternoon asking after me, and what I'd said about him. Ah bless! We are supposed to be spending Saturday night over there, which I'm looking forward to but is going to take some planning this weekend, with mate Jane over from New Zealand for a month and staying with me for Easter, and a promised day out with my Dad on Easter Sunday!! Damn the timing of it all!
PS. Apparently he brought the champagne especially to impress me! Bless!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Mashed potato
I love mashed potato! And my belly is currently full of it (and a few sausages and beans). Yum yum!!!
Woke up late this morning, (although I was probably in bed earlier than on a week night) but not feeling too bad. Didn't sleep particularly well, and was having random mixed up dreams most of the night, though I don't remember now what was in them. M texted in the night as well, woke up to two texts from him just saying "hello you, how are you?", and another fifteen minutes later saying "i'm not your ex" or something like that!! (He shares the same name as CM). Can't really be bothered to respond to middle of the night texts! Text me in the daytime if you're that bothered about how I am!!
Last nights comedy was pretty good, although it was all black comedians (well, one asian) which can mean a bit of repetition, as they all tend to talk about beating of children, and the food, and parents and their childhoods. Of the five on last night, only one was really not great, the others were all pretty good so much chuckling was done!
After the comedy we went to a hometown pub for an hour, to catch up with Meg Ryan's friend T who was djing there. It was okay, nothing particularly exciting happening (aside from a bloke being passed out and having to be taken off in an ambulance by the paramedics) but a few glasses of wine were consumed by myself (Meg was driving), and some dancing occurred. Didn't feel pissed until I got home, but I hadn't eaten since a Pot Noodle at lunchtime!
So another weekend over. Not sure what I'm up to next weekend yet. Was planning a trip to Blah on Friday, but Meg can't do Fridays because of her childcare arrangements (they're not great for me either because of 9am Saturday morning ballet classes), so not sure now, might have a chat with Vi and postpone to the following weekend.
Also need to be watching my pennies if I decide I'm going to bite the bullet and go ahead with my plans for Vegas. I've got until Thursday to make a decision. Talking of which... how much do you all reckon I will need for spending money for 8nights in Vegas...?
Woke up late this morning, (although I was probably in bed earlier than on a week night) but not feeling too bad. Didn't sleep particularly well, and was having random mixed up dreams most of the night, though I don't remember now what was in them. M texted in the night as well, woke up to two texts from him just saying "hello you, how are you?", and another fifteen minutes later saying "i'm not your ex" or something like that!! (He shares the same name as CM). Can't really be bothered to respond to middle of the night texts! Text me in the daytime if you're that bothered about how I am!!
Last nights comedy was pretty good, although it was all black comedians (well, one asian) which can mean a bit of repetition, as they all tend to talk about beating of children, and the food, and parents and their childhoods. Of the five on last night, only one was really not great, the others were all pretty good so much chuckling was done!
After the comedy we went to a hometown pub for an hour, to catch up with Meg Ryan's friend T who was djing there. It was okay, nothing particularly exciting happening (aside from a bloke being passed out and having to be taken off in an ambulance by the paramedics) but a few glasses of wine were consumed by myself (Meg was driving), and some dancing occurred. Didn't feel pissed until I got home, but I hadn't eaten since a Pot Noodle at lunchtime!
So another weekend over. Not sure what I'm up to next weekend yet. Was planning a trip to Blah on Friday, but Meg can't do Fridays because of her childcare arrangements (they're not great for me either because of 9am Saturday morning ballet classes), so not sure now, might have a chat with Vi and postpone to the following weekend.
Also need to be watching my pennies if I decide I'm going to bite the bullet and go ahead with my plans for Vegas. I've got until Thursday to make a decision. Talking of which... how much do you all reckon I will need for spending money for 8nights in Vegas...?
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Buggering bugger!!
I am going out to out of town pub tonight for a few drinks with one of the girls from work, who's birthday it is, and some of her mates. Going with my mate B (female), after telling CM in the week that I couldn't see him tonight (he was busy last night too).
So, I was in the bath this afternoon, just thinking about the evening, and he text to say hi, etc and to say that it was just him and M out tonight. Now, this got me thinking about M, and about how I could do with a bit of a flirt with him, and how if all four of us went out it could be quite fun , and so I text CM and said he and M could come out with us if they fancied (after checking with B first of course!)
Anyway, after much debating because KD suddenly decided he wanted to go out but only wants to go to hometown local, and M doesn't want to upset KD, and CM doesnt want to upset KD but doesnt want to stay in hometown, and much "for god's sake how bloody old are you lot of GROWN MEN?!!!" from me to CM, the upshot is that CM is coming out with me and B on his own.
GODDAMN!!!! No flirting with M, and now I won't even be able to pull.... :-( Guess that's what you get for being greedy...!
So, I was in the bath this afternoon, just thinking about the evening, and he text to say hi, etc and to say that it was just him and M out tonight. Now, this got me thinking about M, and about how I could do with a bit of a flirt with him, and how if all four of us went out it could be quite fun , and so I text CM and said he and M could come out with us if they fancied (after checking with B first of course!)
Anyway, after much debating because KD suddenly decided he wanted to go out but only wants to go to hometown local, and M doesn't want to upset KD, and CM doesnt want to upset KD but doesnt want to stay in hometown, and much "for god's sake how bloody old are you lot of GROWN MEN?!!!" from me to CM, the upshot is that CM is coming out with me and B on his own.
GODDAMN!!!! No flirting with M, and now I won't even be able to pull.... :-( Guess that's what you get for being greedy...!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Weekend...
A fairly uneventful weekend. Well if you discount the drunken twattiness of Friday night, and the general dissatisfaction with my life on Saturday!! As I said, I struggled a little this weekend with DM stuff, but pleased to say that I'm back to normal twattiness now! I guess every day that goes by I come closer to forgetting, and every bad day I have moves me further down the great path of recovery, whether I want to go there or not!!
Anyway, the weekend... Went out Saturday night with CM to a friend's son's 18th birthday party!!! I ask you!!! Only went because it was also my friend Disco's birthday, so wanted to see her of course. Fortunately for us, she left early due to some boyfriend stuff, so we managed to escape the joy of a club full of 18yr olds enjoying trance, drum and bass, house, hip hop and god knows what other sort of music I am far too old for!
CM and I saw M and KD at the party, then hooked up with them again when we left (they had lasted even less time than we did!), and went to my favourite divey pub. And actually, we had a really good time. Well I vertainly did and that's what's important :-)
I have to say I absolutely adore being the only female in a group of men that I know and like. I love it, love it, love it! You just get treated so nicely, but at the same time get to indulge in plenty of laddish behaviour. And all three of these boys are great blokes! Even KD, who can be a bit of a self deprecating moany sod sometimes, was on top form. Laughing and chatting and dancing. And M was keeping us very entertained with some cheeky piss takey dance moves and lots of dry humour.
Man, he is a cocky, cheeky, arrogant little fucker, but I just love that. And I have to admit to a tiny bit of flirting... (okay, a whole lot of flirting, considering CM was about and I didn't want to take the piss!!). And although I was a bit concerned about how we would be, considering a couple of weeks ago when I saw him and it was awkward to say the least, Saturday night it was actually really good. In fact, better than really good. We had a bit of a chat and then lapsed straight back into the banter and how we used to be. Which is all good!!
And there is definitely still a chemistry vibe there. And a couple of times I felt that CM was aware of that, and aware of the fact that much as me and him get on, there isn't the same kind of underlying sexual tension there. And don't get me wrong, that is all it is! But what was interesting, was that 2 different people came over to the 4 of us during the night (that they knew but I didn't) and asked if I was M's girlfriend!! So, it's obviously not just me that picked up on it.
So, there was some mild flirting with me and M, a bit of suggestive chat, the spoken acknowledgement of our past and the hint that we are probably not done yet. And that was how it was left, which is very cool with me!
I don't think M would push it while I am still seeing CM, but there is definite possibility for the future. And I like that. Bad bad girl that I am. In fact, I was naughty enough to text M when I got home (who'd made a point of asking if CM was staying over that night), just saying "Night ;-)". He texted back "You be careful", to which I replied "I'm always careful!". Interesting. Very very interesting!!
Another good thing that came out of Saturday night is that M asked CM how he felt about me. Which made me brace myself for the worst when he told me later, but in fact CM said he thinks 'I'm a really great girl but he's not sure it's the right time for him'.
Oh the relief! I feel much more relaxed about the situation now I know he's not falling or investing too much in the situation, and I figure it's cool for us to just enjoy each other's company and the shag until we're not enjoying it anymore. And I think that's probably where he's at too. (I have to admit to dropping a few vague comments into the conversation Sunday morning that implied I didn't expect us to be a forever situation - well never let it be said I lead people on!!)
So, all in all a mixed weekend. I survived Friday night and Saturday, I enjoyed Saturday night and had an okay Sunday. I guess ups and downs are what it's all about!
Anyway, the weekend... Went out Saturday night with CM to a friend's son's 18th birthday party!!! I ask you!!! Only went because it was also my friend Disco's birthday, so wanted to see her of course. Fortunately for us, she left early due to some boyfriend stuff, so we managed to escape the joy of a club full of 18yr olds enjoying trance, drum and bass, house, hip hop and god knows what other sort of music I am far too old for!
CM and I saw M and KD at the party, then hooked up with them again when we left (they had lasted even less time than we did!), and went to my favourite divey pub. And actually, we had a really good time. Well I vertainly did and that's what's important :-)
I have to say I absolutely adore being the only female in a group of men that I know and like. I love it, love it, love it! You just get treated so nicely, but at the same time get to indulge in plenty of laddish behaviour. And all three of these boys are great blokes! Even KD, who can be a bit of a self deprecating moany sod sometimes, was on top form. Laughing and chatting and dancing. And M was keeping us very entertained with some cheeky piss takey dance moves and lots of dry humour.
Man, he is a cocky, cheeky, arrogant little fucker, but I just love that. And I have to admit to a tiny bit of flirting... (okay, a whole lot of flirting, considering CM was about and I didn't want to take the piss!!). And although I was a bit concerned about how we would be, considering a couple of weeks ago when I saw him and it was awkward to say the least, Saturday night it was actually really good. In fact, better than really good. We had a bit of a chat and then lapsed straight back into the banter and how we used to be. Which is all good!!
And there is definitely still a chemistry vibe there. And a couple of times I felt that CM was aware of that, and aware of the fact that much as me and him get on, there isn't the same kind of underlying sexual tension there. And don't get me wrong, that is all it is! But what was interesting, was that 2 different people came over to the 4 of us during the night (that they knew but I didn't) and asked if I was M's girlfriend!! So, it's obviously not just me that picked up on it.
So, there was some mild flirting with me and M, a bit of suggestive chat, the spoken acknowledgement of our past and the hint that we are probably not done yet. And that was how it was left, which is very cool with me!
I don't think M would push it while I am still seeing CM, but there is definite possibility for the future. And I like that. Bad bad girl that I am. In fact, I was naughty enough to text M when I got home (who'd made a point of asking if CM was staying over that night), just saying "Night ;-)". He texted back "You be careful", to which I replied "I'm always careful!". Interesting. Very very interesting!!
Another good thing that came out of Saturday night is that M asked CM how he felt about me. Which made me brace myself for the worst when he told me later, but in fact CM said he thinks 'I'm a really great girl but he's not sure it's the right time for him'.
Oh the relief! I feel much more relaxed about the situation now I know he's not falling or investing too much in the situation, and I figure it's cool for us to just enjoy each other's company and the shag until we're not enjoying it anymore. And I think that's probably where he's at too. (I have to admit to dropping a few vague comments into the conversation Sunday morning that implied I didn't expect us to be a forever situation - well never let it be said I lead people on!!)
So, all in all a mixed weekend. I survived Friday night and Saturday, I enjoyed Saturday night and had an okay Sunday. I guess ups and downs are what it's all about!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Improvements
I spent the majority of last night in a village working men's club! What the fuck!!!! How did I go from hot cool dates with DM to fucking working men's clubs with CM??? That is something that will definitely need addressing. I may be a divey pub kind of girl but I draw the line at WMC's! I will allow it as a one off, as we went to meet up with a couple of his mates that live in the village (the same village I lived in from 10-19 and would not return to!!), one of which was M. Which I have to say was a little strange, and slightly uncomfortable for the both of us, though CM seemed fine with it.
The difficulty was that I have always been quite flirty with M, and lots of banter etc, and it doesn't feel appropriate to be like that with him no - don't want to give anybody the wrong impressions. So, I'm not sure how to be with him. He seemed fine most of the night, I was quite quiet, not my usually gobby self, because of the situation and also because I don't know the other people fantastically well, but he did mention at the beginning (it was just me and him at that point), that he was glad me and CM had got it together. I just kind of dismissed it, and didn't really get the chance to comment after that. Though what would I say anyway?? He seemed fine for most of the evening, but that said I did feel he struggled a couple of times, and when CM and I went to leave (before the others) he did seem a little odd. And CM commented on that himself after we had gone, so it wasn't just me. His bloody loss though, he could have had a fucking great fuck buddy relationship if he had put a bit of effort in.
Have to say, I did find myself looking at M's hands and thinking 'those fingers have been inside me'. And then going on to think about how good it had felt when he slid his cock into me. And then had to stop myself having those wicked thoughts!
Anyway, enough thoughts about M! Sex with CM is looking up a little. Not sure if it was because he had had a few beers last night and was more relaxed but it was much much better. Which is a fucking good thing! Still not perfect, and still struggling with his size, and the fact that he is not DM, but generally it was the best it's been so there is hope!!
The only downside is I'm just not sure his sex drive is as high as mine, or sex is as important to him. I woke up this morning, and knew he had to leave quite early because he had some stuff planned today, but still felt the need to have a bit of a play with his chest, stomach, tops of thighs, etc - just skimming over his cock occasionally, which usually gives most men the green light for a nice lazy morning quickie, but I didn't really get a reaction! And definitely not him getting a raging hard on that he was just forced to slide into me!! Bummer!!
I think he is just quite controlled with himself. LIke before we went out last night, we were kissing, and I was straddling him on the sofa, and generally getting quite friendly, and he's a bit "come on, stop it or you'll get me all excited and you don't want to go out smelling all spunky". And I hate that really. I want to be with someone who can't help themselves but want me, (at least most of the time), and that I know fancies the fucking pants off me, and will take the lead and love that I am horny all the time, and will say "fuck going out, get your kit off and get up those stairs". With CM I guess I'm just not sure.
Like I said though, vast improvement on previously, so am sticking with it for a while (don't think it would take much to tempt me away though!), and keeping my fingers crossed. Probably not going to see him again until Sunday though, which is a fucker as I kind of want to pick up the pace now it's improved. And I'm still bloody horny!!
I have a real thing in my head at the moment about wanting to be tied and blindfolded and be free to be able to selfishly submit to some serious pleasure from a skilled skilled man. Think I need the release!
The difficulty was that I have always been quite flirty with M, and lots of banter etc, and it doesn't feel appropriate to be like that with him no - don't want to give anybody the wrong impressions. So, I'm not sure how to be with him. He seemed fine most of the night, I was quite quiet, not my usually gobby self, because of the situation and also because I don't know the other people fantastically well, but he did mention at the beginning (it was just me and him at that point), that he was glad me and CM had got it together. I just kind of dismissed it, and didn't really get the chance to comment after that. Though what would I say anyway?? He seemed fine for most of the evening, but that said I did feel he struggled a couple of times, and when CM and I went to leave (before the others) he did seem a little odd. And CM commented on that himself after we had gone, so it wasn't just me. His bloody loss though, he could have had a fucking great fuck buddy relationship if he had put a bit of effort in.
Have to say, I did find myself looking at M's hands and thinking 'those fingers have been inside me'. And then going on to think about how good it had felt when he slid his cock into me. And then had to stop myself having those wicked thoughts!
Anyway, enough thoughts about M! Sex with CM is looking up a little. Not sure if it was because he had had a few beers last night and was more relaxed but it was much much better. Which is a fucking good thing! Still not perfect, and still struggling with his size, and the fact that he is not DM, but generally it was the best it's been so there is hope!!
The only downside is I'm just not sure his sex drive is as high as mine, or sex is as important to him. I woke up this morning, and knew he had to leave quite early because he had some stuff planned today, but still felt the need to have a bit of a play with his chest, stomach, tops of thighs, etc - just skimming over his cock occasionally, which usually gives most men the green light for a nice lazy morning quickie, but I didn't really get a reaction! And definitely not him getting a raging hard on that he was just forced to slide into me!! Bummer!!
I think he is just quite controlled with himself. LIke before we went out last night, we were kissing, and I was straddling him on the sofa, and generally getting quite friendly, and he's a bit "come on, stop it or you'll get me all excited and you don't want to go out smelling all spunky". And I hate that really. I want to be with someone who can't help themselves but want me, (at least most of the time), and that I know fancies the fucking pants off me, and will take the lead and love that I am horny all the time, and will say "fuck going out, get your kit off and get up those stairs". With CM I guess I'm just not sure.
Like I said though, vast improvement on previously, so am sticking with it for a while (don't think it would take much to tempt me away though!), and keeping my fingers crossed. Probably not going to see him again until Sunday though, which is a fucker as I kind of want to pick up the pace now it's improved. And I'm still bloody horny!!
I have a real thing in my head at the moment about wanting to be tied and blindfolded and be free to be able to selfishly submit to some serious pleasure from a skilled skilled man. Think I need the release!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Lalalalalalalalalala!!!! Fluffy bunny today!
Oh my god, what a funny funny Saturday night I have had. In a very good way!! I am smiley smiley smiley today folks :-)
For those of you that have been keeping up with my previous posts and amours (or trying), you will obviously know about DM - who still remains my one true love and a continuing undercurrent in my life. M - the potential fuckbuddy who has been sending me some very mixed messages just lately and cheeky and cocky and funny as he is, is really not worth the effort. CM - the slight crush from the past with a soft spot for me, who I completely wigged out about knowing about M, and mate of M, and cousin of KD (an old flame with a continuing desire for me, also mate of M). And you may also remember a mention of G - a work colleague who is damn sexy, although extremely professional at work, but has been ever so slightly flirty and is maybe a potential for the future.
So, somewhat understandably, my head has been a tad confused over what/who to do for the best! Well folks, I'm not a great believer in spiritual destiny or divine intervention but last night I had the kind of night that answered all my questions! (Well not DM questions but I guess I just have to live with that!).
I had a few plans to attend to last night: a birthday party, a hen night, a drink with friends and free tickets to a local club. I decided to try and fit all of this in, so decided to meet with friends at the bar where the birthday party was starting then join the hen party to go to the free ticketed club. All good. All out of my home town.
The night started well. I was looking hot if I say so myself, and I was feeling mighty fine. Got some nice interest in the bar, and one bloke came up and told me he loved me! After much laughing from me he then said "well I think I might fancy you then!", he was quite sweet but a tad drunkard and so I didn't pursue it. A nice ego boost though. Had good fun/chats/laughs with friends/birthday party and then headed to club. Unfortunately hen night decided to go to a much cheesier establishment but never mind.
Have to say, I don't frequent this club very often, so just bear that in mind in terms of the randomness of events (we shall call going this night oddity number 1). Well, who should I bump into in the club but ................. G!!! And I tell you, he was ABSOLUTELY TWATTED!!!!!! Seriously! Obviously I work with him so couldn't be too indiscreet, but I would say the old Ectasy was working its magic if you get my drift! Now this in itself is not too bad. While I never indulge in this particular drug recreation myself, a lot of my mates and people of my generation do, and it isn't an issue with me. But, the funniest thing was, he turned from this VERY professional bloke into Michael Jackson on speed! It was car crash viewing folks. I couldn't look at him properly for the first hour I was so embarrassed for him!! He didn't seem to mind though, after bumping into him later he was happily shaking his thang in front of me. So, strike one man off list. With immediate effect!!
We left the club around 2.15 I guess. Mate got a burger then we just sat in the car and chilled, watching the world go by and tormenting drunken boys :-) Now I have to say, this is something we don't usually do (random oddity number 2). Normally it's burger and straight home. Toyed with the idea of going back to the party but decided to call it a night instead. Got back to hometown and I needed ciggies, so headed for the garage. And for some reason went the long way round (random oddity number 3 - didn't even realise all these randoms until today!). Lo and behold, who should be walking up the road but M and CM!!!!!!
So, we stopped and said hi, offered them a lift etc. M had got into a bit of bother rowing with his ex so we had to go find KD and blah blah blah, all a bit of drama. Dropped KD home then the four of us went round to M's for a coffee and chat etc. And I tell you what, CM was looking fucking hot. I mean, I was sat next to him and had to hold myself back from swinging my leg over his lap and snogging the face off him.
A while later and mate wanted to go home, and CM needed dropping back at KDs where he was staying. Mate and I had had a conversation earlier about making sure I dropped her off first, so we get in the car and she duly pleads a headache and asks can I take her home first. Go mate :-) (We are devious creatures you know!). So I drop her home and drive him back up.
We sat talking for a bit, I mentioned he should text me and we'd go for a beer, bit of banter etc, and then I felt the need to address the M situation with him. Knowing he knows of course! Anyway, to cut a long story short, I basically told him: that I'd been worried what he would think of me, and that that had been a bit odd for me, and that I really liked him, and that I knew we'd been close to stepping over the friend line before, and that I had always thought that at some point in the future we would be together!
For those of you that have been keeping up with my previous posts and amours (or trying), you will obviously know about DM - who still remains my one true love and a continuing undercurrent in my life. M - the potential fuckbuddy who has been sending me some very mixed messages just lately and cheeky and cocky and funny as he is, is really not worth the effort. CM - the slight crush from the past with a soft spot for me, who I completely wigged out about knowing about M, and mate of M, and cousin of KD (an old flame with a continuing desire for me, also mate of M). And you may also remember a mention of G - a work colleague who is damn sexy, although extremely professional at work, but has been ever so slightly flirty and is maybe a potential for the future.
So, somewhat understandably, my head has been a tad confused over what/who to do for the best! Well folks, I'm not a great believer in spiritual destiny or divine intervention but last night I had the kind of night that answered all my questions! (Well not DM questions but I guess I just have to live with that!).
I had a few plans to attend to last night: a birthday party, a hen night, a drink with friends and free tickets to a local club. I decided to try and fit all of this in, so decided to meet with friends at the bar where the birthday party was starting then join the hen party to go to the free ticketed club. All good. All out of my home town.
The night started well. I was looking hot if I say so myself, and I was feeling mighty fine. Got some nice interest in the bar, and one bloke came up and told me he loved me! After much laughing from me he then said "well I think I might fancy you then!", he was quite sweet but a tad drunkard and so I didn't pursue it. A nice ego boost though. Had good fun/chats/laughs with friends/birthday party and then headed to club. Unfortunately hen night decided to go to a much cheesier establishment but never mind.
Have to say, I don't frequent this club very often, so just bear that in mind in terms of the randomness of events (we shall call going this night oddity number 1). Well, who should I bump into in the club but ................. G!!! And I tell you, he was ABSOLUTELY TWATTED!!!!!! Seriously! Obviously I work with him so couldn't be too indiscreet, but I would say the old Ectasy was working its magic if you get my drift! Now this in itself is not too bad. While I never indulge in this particular drug recreation myself, a lot of my mates and people of my generation do, and it isn't an issue with me. But, the funniest thing was, he turned from this VERY professional bloke into Michael Jackson on speed! It was car crash viewing folks. I couldn't look at him properly for the first hour I was so embarrassed for him!! He didn't seem to mind though, after bumping into him later he was happily shaking his thang in front of me. So, strike one man off list. With immediate effect!!
We left the club around 2.15 I guess. Mate got a burger then we just sat in the car and chilled, watching the world go by and tormenting drunken boys :-) Now I have to say, this is something we don't usually do (random oddity number 2). Normally it's burger and straight home. Toyed with the idea of going back to the party but decided to call it a night instead. Got back to hometown and I needed ciggies, so headed for the garage. And for some reason went the long way round (random oddity number 3 - didn't even realise all these randoms until today!). Lo and behold, who should be walking up the road but M and CM!!!!!!
So, we stopped and said hi, offered them a lift etc. M had got into a bit of bother rowing with his ex so we had to go find KD and blah blah blah, all a bit of drama. Dropped KD home then the four of us went round to M's for a coffee and chat etc. And I tell you what, CM was looking fucking hot. I mean, I was sat next to him and had to hold myself back from swinging my leg over his lap and snogging the face off him.
A while later and mate wanted to go home, and CM needed dropping back at KDs where he was staying. Mate and I had had a conversation earlier about making sure I dropped her off first, so we get in the car and she duly pleads a headache and asks can I take her home first. Go mate :-) (We are devious creatures you know!). So I drop her home and drive him back up.
We sat talking for a bit, I mentioned he should text me and we'd go for a beer, bit of banter etc, and then I felt the need to address the M situation with him. Knowing he knows of course! Anyway, to cut a long story short, I basically told him: that I'd been worried what he would think of me, and that that had been a bit odd for me, and that I really liked him, and that I knew we'd been close to stepping over the friend line before, and that I had always thought that at some point in the future we would be together!
And then I took a breath and thought stop your fucking rambling!!!
Luckily he stepped in at this point and told me: that he really liked me too, that he wasn't sure he could cope with anything heavy, that he missed female company, that he had told M that he wished he had what M had with me, and that the M thing hadn't changed how he felt about me!
Fuck man, this was way deeper than I would normally be going at this point. And apart from when I started with DM I have always put my break-up back up clause in straight away. I've always said right at the beginning "I think this is how I feel but I'm fickle and I have a really low boredom threshold and don't like me too much because chances are I'll have changed my mind in three months!". And if I didn't say it then I'd be worrying about today about the fact I didn't say it and I'd be factoring it into our next meeting/conversation. There's not a man alive that could say I led them on and made promises I couldn't keep. I don't say things lightly and when I say them I mean them.
I also told him: that I didn't want to do the fuckbuddy thing with him, that I liked him too much, and that while I'm still in recovery over DM and still not sure I'm in a place where I can think about a "relationship", and while I need my space and will want to take my time with stuff, I know I don't want to just fuck him and leave.
So, we basically agreed to go out for a drink or a meal and see how it goes. We tentatively arranged Thursday and left it that he would text me. He also gave me his number. And then we kissed. Not snogging, no tongues or any such thing but 3 or 4 long (almost open mouthed) kisses. And they were fucking hot!!!!!!!! I had to tell him to go now or I might have to leap on him!
And so I am now happy happy bunny :-) I can't believe all the random events that conspired to get to this point. If any one of the random events above had been different I wouldn't have seen him last night and would have spent the next week or so the same as I spent this week; wondering how to get in touch with him and what to say if I did. But what I most can't believe is how happy I am knowing that I am going to see him Thursday (assuming he texts me, which he better!!!). It's all just a bit mad!
I guess I'm ready to take that first tip toe into the water again.... God help me!!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Weekend - part 3 - The M situation (Saturday) and ensuing head fuck
Why can't I ever just have things simple?!! As a woman am I forced to endure over-complicating, over analysing and over stressing about everything?? Is this a feminine trait or an Ordinary Girl trait? Buggered if I know!! But what I do know is that despite the fact that I'm actually very self aware, I do know myself inside and out, good and bad, sometimes emotions appear from nowhere and bite me in the ass!!
Saturday night was one of these nights...!
As I said before, the M situation has been slow but was now showing good promise after Friday. Although there are the complications of KD and CM, the situation is all good and those are not really any big deal. I'm not that bothered if KD finds out. After all it was a long long time ago and I think it would only be his fragile male ego that was bruised. But on the whole I don't think I'm ready to start a relationship yet (to be honest I'm doubtful I ever will be!), but I accept that I'm in a place where I can begin to think about such things, even if at the moment that will be a sex based relationship. So, right on track with that. Find my potential shag partner, lay down the rules, hook up again, all good!
To cut a long story short (something I'm not renowned for!!), I was out with my girlie mates Saturday night (a planned quiet night down town aiming to be back for about 11am - which turned into a rather louder night down town getting home about 2.30am!!), and bumped into M and KD. All fine, chatting normally, bit of flirting etc etc. But then the following random things happened which sent me into a confusing head spin...
M was talking again about the fact that he had told CM. And although it had bothered me a little when he told me Friday, I was amazed to find that actually it REALLY BOTHERS ME that CM knows!! And the fact it does has freaked me out a little. Why should I care? I'm not the sort of person who generally gives a monkey what people know about me or what they think about me. I'm not a private person. In fact I probably spill far more than I should to any old body who will listen. I'm not by nature the sort that would care about this. I'm also the first to hold my hands up to being a sexual being and being content with that side of me. So why do I feel so bad that CM knows? I mean really really bad!!
I think the reason may be because I like CM so much. I mean he is a really really great bloke. And I value his opinion. And I value the fact that he likes me and respects me. It means something, you know? And for some reason it really matters to me that he doesn't think I'm a slut and he doesn't lose respect for me. I don't think I'm a slut, but then I know me and I know more motivations etc. But I'm just bothered that he doesnt. I want to explain it to him for some reason. And that realisation is just weird!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a mate. A person I value. But I rarely see him and so he has no effect on my life. So why am I so pissed off at this. Why do I feel the need to see him. To tell him how it is. To make sure that it's okay. To apologise????? I've rarely felt that way about any of my actions or anybody that I know. And that thought leads me on to wondering if perhaps I like him more than I think? Or if I'm reading something into nothing. Or if I'm trying to make 2 +2 = 8? And grrrrrrr. Too many questions!!!
Also, Saturday night, M was not up for the shag. Fine in itself. I can cope with that. Especially considering the lack of sleep the night before, the fact he was out with KD etc. And sure I was a little miffed, we all want people to be desperate for us (do we? or is that just me?) , but he was flirty and attentive and generally sweet and funny and cool with me. So the lack of shag is fine (to a point!). But what I was not prepared for, what took me completely by surprise was the fact that when he was talking to some girls in the pub I got completely and utterly and insanely fucking jealous!!! Seriously. I mean I-could-have-walked-straight-over-there-and-scratched-their-fucking-eyes-out kind of jealous. I-could-have-stormed-over-and-said-he's-my-fuck-buddy-not-yours-now-get-your-skanky-arse-out-of-here kind of jealous. Seriously folks. The green eyed monster unleashed itself in my bosom that night!!
Now what the fuck is that all about?!!!! Why would I be like that? He was also getting some drunken texts from some girl. Stupid.. "I'm drunk do you want to hook up" kind of texts. Embarrassing rambling desperate texts. And he was quite open about showing me them and telling me about how she kept bothering him and wouldn't get the message etc. And I took his phone off him (willingly from him I hasten to add!), and I rang her and told her to "Get the message love, M is just not interested!". WHAT THE FUCK!!??
Now I ask you... are they the actions of a sane, mature, sexually aware woman in a new fuck buddy situation??? I'm sure they're not!! Why would I feel like that? I don't want him as a boyfriend. I set up how it's going to be. I'm the one who lay down the rules for how it's going to be. He's following these rules. This is the situation I want. So why? Why why why why why??
(I must just add that although all this psycho jealous stuff was going on in my head, I did nothing. I didn't act on it or make a big deal out of it. I just acted normally and even made light of the phone call thing - which he seemed cool with anyway. I do have SOME self control!!. I may be a crazy lady but I'm damned if any man I know is gonna know about it!)
So, after this interesting evening! With all sorts of questions and conflicting feelings running through my head. M/CM/M/CM etc etc. Fuelled by caffeine and unable to sleep, do you think I went home and tried to calm myself? Tried to sort out what I felt about who? What I should do to deal with the situation. Tried to think about it logically. Look at my options. Examine the situation. Figure out how I could reduce the confusion? That would have been the sensible thing eh? That of course was what I did... NOT!
What I did was text DM. And not only text him, but open up a can of worms I've been afraid to broach before. To set in motion a chain of events that is likely to end in the complete and utter final resolution.... that he hates me and takes himself out of my life forever!
The easy life....? I certainly don't make it so!!!
Saturday night was one of these nights...!
As I said before, the M situation has been slow but was now showing good promise after Friday. Although there are the complications of KD and CM, the situation is all good and those are not really any big deal. I'm not that bothered if KD finds out. After all it was a long long time ago and I think it would only be his fragile male ego that was bruised. But on the whole I don't think I'm ready to start a relationship yet (to be honest I'm doubtful I ever will be!), but I accept that I'm in a place where I can begin to think about such things, even if at the moment that will be a sex based relationship. So, right on track with that. Find my potential shag partner, lay down the rules, hook up again, all good!
To cut a long story short (something I'm not renowned for!!), I was out with my girlie mates Saturday night (a planned quiet night down town aiming to be back for about 11am - which turned into a rather louder night down town getting home about 2.30am!!), and bumped into M and KD. All fine, chatting normally, bit of flirting etc etc. But then the following random things happened which sent me into a confusing head spin...
M was talking again about the fact that he had told CM. And although it had bothered me a little when he told me Friday, I was amazed to find that actually it REALLY BOTHERS ME that CM knows!! And the fact it does has freaked me out a little. Why should I care? I'm not the sort of person who generally gives a monkey what people know about me or what they think about me. I'm not a private person. In fact I probably spill far more than I should to any old body who will listen. I'm not by nature the sort that would care about this. I'm also the first to hold my hands up to being a sexual being and being content with that side of me. So why do I feel so bad that CM knows? I mean really really bad!!
I think the reason may be because I like CM so much. I mean he is a really really great bloke. And I value his opinion. And I value the fact that he likes me and respects me. It means something, you know? And for some reason it really matters to me that he doesn't think I'm a slut and he doesn't lose respect for me. I don't think I'm a slut, but then I know me and I know more motivations etc. But I'm just bothered that he doesnt. I want to explain it to him for some reason. And that realisation is just weird!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a mate. A person I value. But I rarely see him and so he has no effect on my life. So why am I so pissed off at this. Why do I feel the need to see him. To tell him how it is. To make sure that it's okay. To apologise????? I've rarely felt that way about any of my actions or anybody that I know. And that thought leads me on to wondering if perhaps I like him more than I think? Or if I'm reading something into nothing. Or if I'm trying to make 2 +2 = 8? And grrrrrrr. Too many questions!!!
Also, Saturday night, M was not up for the shag. Fine in itself. I can cope with that. Especially considering the lack of sleep the night before, the fact he was out with KD etc. And sure I was a little miffed, we all want people to be desperate for us (do we? or is that just me?) , but he was flirty and attentive and generally sweet and funny and cool with me. So the lack of shag is fine (to a point!). But what I was not prepared for, what took me completely by surprise was the fact that when he was talking to some girls in the pub I got completely and utterly and insanely fucking jealous!!! Seriously. I mean I-could-have-walked-straight-over-there-and-scratched-their-fucking-eyes-out kind of jealous. I-could-have-stormed-over-and-said-he's-my-fuck-buddy-not-yours-now-get-your-skanky-arse-out-of-here kind of jealous. Seriously folks. The green eyed monster unleashed itself in my bosom that night!!
Now what the fuck is that all about?!!!! Why would I be like that? He was also getting some drunken texts from some girl. Stupid.. "I'm drunk do you want to hook up" kind of texts. Embarrassing rambling desperate texts. And he was quite open about showing me them and telling me about how she kept bothering him and wouldn't get the message etc. And I took his phone off him (willingly from him I hasten to add!), and I rang her and told her to "Get the message love, M is just not interested!". WHAT THE FUCK!!??
Now I ask you... are they the actions of a sane, mature, sexually aware woman in a new fuck buddy situation??? I'm sure they're not!! Why would I feel like that? I don't want him as a boyfriend. I set up how it's going to be. I'm the one who lay down the rules for how it's going to be. He's following these rules. This is the situation I want. So why? Why why why why why??
(I must just add that although all this psycho jealous stuff was going on in my head, I did nothing. I didn't act on it or make a big deal out of it. I just acted normally and even made light of the phone call thing - which he seemed cool with anyway. I do have SOME self control!!. I may be a crazy lady but I'm damned if any man I know is gonna know about it!)
So, after this interesting evening! With all sorts of questions and conflicting feelings running through my head. M/CM/M/CM etc etc. Fuelled by caffeine and unable to sleep, do you think I went home and tried to calm myself? Tried to sort out what I felt about who? What I should do to deal with the situation. Tried to think about it logically. Look at my options. Examine the situation. Figure out how I could reduce the confusion? That would have been the sensible thing eh? That of course was what I did... NOT!
What I did was text DM. And not only text him, but open up a can of worms I've been afraid to broach before. To set in motion a chain of events that is likely to end in the complete and utter final resolution.... that he hates me and takes himself out of my life forever!
The easy life....? I certainly don't make it so!!!
Weekend - part 2 - The M situation (Friday)
Hey all, apologies for not updating more last night, but I was busy doing the rambling, wailing and generally chitter chattering in real life and by the time I had finished that I was too tired to update here. But no fear, I am back!!
So, Friday night, after the flirty texting from M the night before, I got a text from him about 7.30pm to ask if I knew what time I would be round after Robbie as he had to be up at 3.30am for work!! After several texts he suggested and I agreed that he would go to bed early and leave the door open and I would just let myself in when I got back. This I did. I have to say here that that was actually really freaky!!!
I got round there about 12.30pm to find him fast asleep in the bed, all snuggled and warm, etc. Now, I had only been round there once, and only shagged him once, and that was a month ago!! So, I stood there not knowing quite what to do with myself! Should I strip off, clamber into bed with him and start kissing, fondling, etc? But what if he woke up all of a start and freaked out???!!! Should I stay clothed and gently try to wake him first? But what if he thought that was weird as I was round on a booty call???!!! Should I just go home and call it a night? But what if this was my chance for some really good shagging???!!! Then I realised I had been stood pondering the question for the last five minutes, and if he woke up now I would look like a real bunny boiler stood by the side of the bed watching him!!!!! Jeez, the complications!!
In the end I decided to do half measures, in that I took off my jeans and jumper but kept my underwear and vest top on, and got on top of the bed. I then woke him by speaking to him. It took him a few minutes to come round, bless him, (he had only been in bed for two hours!) and I decided I had made the right decision!
So, we are chatting about Robbie (the God), and the concert, and general shit, and I'm thinking... here we go again, all talk and no action! But then we managed to get it on :-) And whilst it was a little faster than I would have anticipated!!! (And he was mortified by that, which was a shame as it really doesn't bother me unless they can't recover sufficiently to go again, but his embarrassment kind of put the end to it, and the prospect of only 2 more hours til work waking time didnt help!!) The sex itself was fantastic actually! Despite the fact he is not over endowed, the actual feel of him sliding into me was extremely filling, and something I have been having naughty thoughts about ever since!! Damn those naughty thoughts!!
So, we both went to sleep, to be woken by the alarm and dragged out of bed at 4am! And I left feeling we were progressing with the situation, and it would just need some work to get there. And I'm willing to put the effort in to get some long term shagging rewards!! And I dont care what anybody says, its very rare that the first few times you shag you have a fantastic time, it takes time to get to know what buttons to push, etc. So, I was looking forward to trying to pick up the pace a little (to avoid that infrequent sex = too quick cumming problem), and to hopefully see him Saturday night and pick up where we left off...!!
Before we get to Saturday night, which after the good time Friday night turned out to be a major disappointment and a head fuck for twatty me!, a bit of background is probably in order... It may get a little complicated but will hopefully make sense!! And bear with me, I do have a point....!!
I have known M from drinking in the local pub for about ten years probably. You know how it is, you know a friend of a friend and so on and so on, and we have been chatty when we bump into each other etc but he would never have been what I called a friend (up until recently when he gave me his number, we went out for a drink and have now shagged!!).
In actual fact it is his friend KD that I know better, and about 8 years ago he and I started to spend much more time together. He would come round in the evening and we would talk and laugh, etc. After a couple of weeks of seeing him nearly every night, and me quite fancying the pants off him by now (exasperated by the fact he wasn't making any moves!!) the inevitable happened and we ended up sleeping together. BIG MISTAKE!! Now without wanting to appear shallow, it just didn't happen for me! And although up until this point I had been thinking we maybe had a potential relationship future after that night there was no way I could go there again. Now, to clarify it wasn't that he was completely awful (he had a very small willy but he was very into me, and the sex, and very keen to please in other ways etc), it was just that it wasn't right with me and him, on my part anyway!!
Now, I'm ashamed to say I didn't handle the situation very well, and instead of confronting it and speaking openly and honestly to KD about it I just chose the cowardly way and to ignore it. So I went down the route of just not being available for a while, and then when I saw him keeping it very friendly and not sexual, etc etc. To this day this is not something I am proud of, and as I still consider him to be amate of mine and genuinely like him very much, I still feel quite bad about the fact that he had to deal with knowing I was well into him, slept with him once and stopped being into him.
This situation isn't helped by the fact that I know he still has a soft spot for me, and whenever I see him about he is always really really complimentary about how I look, and says he wishes he saw more of me, etc etc. In fact this makes it a whole lot worse! Ok, so the point of this information is that he is M's best mate!! M knows how KD feels about me, he knows how I feel about KD. It's beginning to get a little complicated.
Next...! (God this all sounds so fucking bad when I type it out, and it so isnt really!) KD has a cousin, CM. Who I have also known for a long time and who I have a lot, lot, lot of respect for! He is genuinely a great bloke! For a long time he was married, then he split up with his wife, then went back to her to try again, had another baby, and has now recently split up with her again. For good (I hope, as she's a nasty piece of work!). Now although CM has never made a move on me, or voiced anything, I know he has always had a soft spot for me too. You just know these things.
There was a time many years ago (during his first split) that I considered taking this further, and there were a couple of occasions where I gave him a lift home or some such and it seemed a possibility, but I always backed out of pushing it and he never made the move. If I'm honest I suppose in the back of my mind I have always thought 'maybe one day when I'm older and done playing the field...'. And I've never been sure if I am attracted to him in that carnal way.
Keeping up?? So, to refresh... we have KD, my mate and also the one night shag from 8yrs ago that I treated badly but still has a soft spot for me. We have CM (KD's cousin), my mate who I hugely like and respect but nothing has ever happened with, who has a soft spot for me and is newly single, and finally we have M, the newly acquired fuck buddy! All of whom (excepting M in the last month) I only see if I bump into them around town, which is probably every couple of months. These 3 are tight, as friends to each other. Really good long term friends to each other. So, there's your background! Are you beginning to see any potential issues here...?
To get to present day, M expressed concerns right at the outset about hurting KD by sleeping with me, but we talked about it and decided that as we weren't going to go anywhere (other than bed!), and as it was a long time ago and I have no interest in KD in that way, we would just not tell him. I have no desire for him to be hurt or for their friendship to wobble, and I thought it was over a long time ago and while he may still have a soft spot that was all it was so it couldn't be that big a deal.
However, it seems that after the initial night M and I shagged, KD gave him a real grilling about whether anything had happened with us, which M of course denied, but KD had again been telling M how much he liked me and how hereally missed seeing me, etc etc. On top of this, M tells me on Friday that he had told CM about us, which really really bothered me for some reason. This bothering me has been part of my head fuck this weekend, which I will get on to later. So, with all of this background information, on to Saturday night....
So, Friday night, after the flirty texting from M the night before, I got a text from him about 7.30pm to ask if I knew what time I would be round after Robbie as he had to be up at 3.30am for work!! After several texts he suggested and I agreed that he would go to bed early and leave the door open and I would just let myself in when I got back. This I did. I have to say here that that was actually really freaky!!!
I got round there about 12.30pm to find him fast asleep in the bed, all snuggled and warm, etc. Now, I had only been round there once, and only shagged him once, and that was a month ago!! So, I stood there not knowing quite what to do with myself! Should I strip off, clamber into bed with him and start kissing, fondling, etc? But what if he woke up all of a start and freaked out???!!! Should I stay clothed and gently try to wake him first? But what if he thought that was weird as I was round on a booty call???!!! Should I just go home and call it a night? But what if this was my chance for some really good shagging???!!! Then I realised I had been stood pondering the question for the last five minutes, and if he woke up now I would look like a real bunny boiler stood by the side of the bed watching him!!!!! Jeez, the complications!!
In the end I decided to do half measures, in that I took off my jeans and jumper but kept my underwear and vest top on, and got on top of the bed. I then woke him by speaking to him. It took him a few minutes to come round, bless him, (he had only been in bed for two hours!) and I decided I had made the right decision!
So, we are chatting about Robbie (the God), and the concert, and general shit, and I'm thinking... here we go again, all talk and no action! But then we managed to get it on :-) And whilst it was a little faster than I would have anticipated!!! (And he was mortified by that, which was a shame as it really doesn't bother me unless they can't recover sufficiently to go again, but his embarrassment kind of put the end to it, and the prospect of only 2 more hours til work waking time didnt help!!) The sex itself was fantastic actually! Despite the fact he is not over endowed, the actual feel of him sliding into me was extremely filling, and something I have been having naughty thoughts about ever since!! Damn those naughty thoughts!!
So, we both went to sleep, to be woken by the alarm and dragged out of bed at 4am! And I left feeling we were progressing with the situation, and it would just need some work to get there. And I'm willing to put the effort in to get some long term shagging rewards!! And I dont care what anybody says, its very rare that the first few times you shag you have a fantastic time, it takes time to get to know what buttons to push, etc. So, I was looking forward to trying to pick up the pace a little (to avoid that infrequent sex = too quick cumming problem), and to hopefully see him Saturday night and pick up where we left off...!!
Before we get to Saturday night, which after the good time Friday night turned out to be a major disappointment and a head fuck for twatty me!, a bit of background is probably in order... It may get a little complicated but will hopefully make sense!! And bear with me, I do have a point....!!
I have known M from drinking in the local pub for about ten years probably. You know how it is, you know a friend of a friend and so on and so on, and we have been chatty when we bump into each other etc but he would never have been what I called a friend (up until recently when he gave me his number, we went out for a drink and have now shagged!!).
In actual fact it is his friend KD that I know better, and about 8 years ago he and I started to spend much more time together. He would come round in the evening and we would talk and laugh, etc. After a couple of weeks of seeing him nearly every night, and me quite fancying the pants off him by now (exasperated by the fact he wasn't making any moves!!) the inevitable happened and we ended up sleeping together. BIG MISTAKE!! Now without wanting to appear shallow, it just didn't happen for me! And although up until this point I had been thinking we maybe had a potential relationship future after that night there was no way I could go there again. Now, to clarify it wasn't that he was completely awful (he had a very small willy but he was very into me, and the sex, and very keen to please in other ways etc), it was just that it wasn't right with me and him, on my part anyway!!
Now, I'm ashamed to say I didn't handle the situation very well, and instead of confronting it and speaking openly and honestly to KD about it I just chose the cowardly way and to ignore it. So I went down the route of just not being available for a while, and then when I saw him keeping it very friendly and not sexual, etc etc. To this day this is not something I am proud of, and as I still consider him to be amate of mine and genuinely like him very much, I still feel quite bad about the fact that he had to deal with knowing I was well into him, slept with him once and stopped being into him.
This situation isn't helped by the fact that I know he still has a soft spot for me, and whenever I see him about he is always really really complimentary about how I look, and says he wishes he saw more of me, etc etc. In fact this makes it a whole lot worse! Ok, so the point of this information is that he is M's best mate!! M knows how KD feels about me, he knows how I feel about KD. It's beginning to get a little complicated.
Next...! (God this all sounds so fucking bad when I type it out, and it so isnt really!) KD has a cousin, CM. Who I have also known for a long time and who I have a lot, lot, lot of respect for! He is genuinely a great bloke! For a long time he was married, then he split up with his wife, then went back to her to try again, had another baby, and has now recently split up with her again. For good (I hope, as she's a nasty piece of work!). Now although CM has never made a move on me, or voiced anything, I know he has always had a soft spot for me too. You just know these things.
There was a time many years ago (during his first split) that I considered taking this further, and there were a couple of occasions where I gave him a lift home or some such and it seemed a possibility, but I always backed out of pushing it and he never made the move. If I'm honest I suppose in the back of my mind I have always thought 'maybe one day when I'm older and done playing the field...'. And I've never been sure if I am attracted to him in that carnal way.
Keeping up?? So, to refresh... we have KD, my mate and also the one night shag from 8yrs ago that I treated badly but still has a soft spot for me. We have CM (KD's cousin), my mate who I hugely like and respect but nothing has ever happened with, who has a soft spot for me and is newly single, and finally we have M, the newly acquired fuck buddy! All of whom (excepting M in the last month) I only see if I bump into them around town, which is probably every couple of months. These 3 are tight, as friends to each other. Really good long term friends to each other. So, there's your background! Are you beginning to see any potential issues here...?
To get to present day, M expressed concerns right at the outset about hurting KD by sleeping with me, but we talked about it and decided that as we weren't going to go anywhere (other than bed!), and as it was a long time ago and I have no interest in KD in that way, we would just not tell him. I have no desire for him to be hurt or for their friendship to wobble, and I thought it was over a long time ago and while he may still have a soft spot that was all it was so it couldn't be that big a deal.
However, it seems that after the initial night M and I shagged, KD gave him a real grilling about whether anything had happened with us, which M of course denied, but KD had again been telling M how much he liked me and how hereally missed seeing me, etc etc. On top of this, M tells me on Friday that he had told CM about us, which really really bothered me for some reason. This bothering me has been part of my head fuck this weekend, which I will get on to later. So, with all of this background information, on to Saturday night....
Thursday, September 14, 2006
A good day today - part 2
Ah bless my M!!! How funny I was just posting about him and he just text me again. Aha, I think, seeing his name in my inbox! Expect he's looking for a booty call!! And while I'm nice and clean having just got out of the bath, and while the kiddies are in bed so could very easily be tempted... the house looks like a fucking mess and I do have some standards!! (Had to buy a new hoover today as old one died last weekend, and have yet to summon up the enthusiasm to use it!!). But imagine my surprise to find this text instead...
(God you must all be so bored reading my text conversations!!! But hey, fuck you. If you don't like my blog then don't read it!)
M - If you have Sky One there's a thing on about Robbie. Just thought I'd let you know.
Me - Yeah, cheers. Don't want to watch it in case it ruins it for me.
M - Ok. I only thought of you.
Me - I know. Bless ya. x
M - It looks like you will enjoy yourself.
Me - Ssh! Don't ruin it for me. I'm tempted to put it on now :-/ Let's hope it's not the only thing I end up enjoying tomorrow :-)
M - X X X
Fucking GRRRR!!!! You got to love the anticipation of that last text!!!! Now I'm thinking... bollocks to the hoovering, get your arse down here!!
(God you must all be so bored reading my text conversations!!! But hey, fuck you. If you don't like my blog then don't read it!)
M - If you have Sky One there's a thing on about Robbie. Just thought I'd let you know.
Me - Yeah, cheers. Don't want to watch it in case it ruins it for me.
M - Ok. I only thought of you.
Me - I know. Bless ya. x
M - It looks like you will enjoy yourself.
Me - Ssh! Don't ruin it for me. I'm tempted to put it on now :-/ Let's hope it's not the only thing I end up enjoying tomorrow :-)
M - X X X
Fucking GRRRR!!!! You got to love the anticipation of that last text!!!! Now I'm thinking... bollocks to the hoovering, get your arse down here!!
A good day today - part 1
A good day today folks! Nothing major but one of those days where you think, you know, my life's not so bad!!
Off work again today, though feeling much better! Those three orgasms yesterday must have done me the world of good!! Talking of which I have only had one today (though I suspect another at bedtime might be in order!). I tell you, if I didn't work I'd do nothing all day but fiddle I'm sure!
Off to see Robbie Williams (the God) tomorrow, so yippee about that. It will be my third time of seeing him in concert and I am so looking forward to it! (Please let him pick me from the crowd to use and abuse after the show!!! - one can but dream....).
Also, fuckbuddy M is looking up. Had the following text conversation with him today...
M - Hi, how are you?
Me - Ok now. Been poorly all week with tonsilitis. Off work and bored!
M - Ah, poor you. Wish I was off work, I need a holiday bad. At least you going to have fun tomorrow seeing Robbie.
Me - Cheers. You should go on one then. Yeah, should be good. Might come back all hot and horny....
M - Well you might. And sorry for last saturday, I was in N*** staying at M***'s and sunday didn't get in til 11 from A***s. You will have to text me if you're horny when you're on your way home.
Me - Ok. Was beginning to think you were having second thoughts.
M - No, just been too hard to see you. I'm hard now thinking of you.
Me - I never know whether to believe you or not! No matter, either way I guess. Will definitely catch up this weekend.
M - What do you mean that you don't believe me or not?
Me - Whether I believe you get hard thinking about me. You don't seem to find me that hot?
M - Well what I think of is us having sex, and you turn me on thinking of you doing things to me.
Me - Well i look forward to knowing you well enough to know what things to do. Right now I'd make do with sitting on your cock for ten minutes :-)
M - That would be nice right now, and I just have to find what you like.
Me - Oh I'm easily pleased! Sadly I won't have the pleasure of you just now. Have to go and make dinner. How exciting! Make sure you're free tomorrow night.
M - Ok, well if you get fed up later let me know. Enjoy making the dinner x :-)
So, that is looking very hopeful I think. About bloody time!!
That conversation also got me thinking about what I do like, in terms of sex. So, the first list of my blog...
Things I like about men/sex!
1. Men that make noise! It doesn't have to be wailing or screaming (in fact I don't think I would like that at all!!), but men who groan, or grunt, or god love them TALK!!
2. Further from above... men that call me a dirty fucking slut while shagging me. (Only occasionally though, and only when I'm in the mood!).
3. Men that eat (and enjoy) Cream pies!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creampie_(sexual_act) God I love that! There is some female serious power issues going on with this one!!
4. Blow jobs. As above, major female power and control. Adore them!
5. Good kissers! You just can't beat that can you?!
6. Confident men, non-squeamish/prudish/uptight men.
7. Men who cum hard and fast, then recover for the slower version almost immediately.
8. Men who say.... "God I love your tits!" (Being a little paranoid about their mid thirties lack of buoyancy these days!!)
Think that's about it for now. Sure I will think of some more later :-)
Why else am I happy today?? Can't really remember why else now. Damn forgetful brain of mine! Ah well, have rambled enough for anybody today, so see you later....
Off work again today, though feeling much better! Those three orgasms yesterday must have done me the world of good!! Talking of which I have only had one today (though I suspect another at bedtime might be in order!). I tell you, if I didn't work I'd do nothing all day but fiddle I'm sure!
Off to see Robbie Williams (the God) tomorrow, so yippee about that. It will be my third time of seeing him in concert and I am so looking forward to it! (Please let him pick me from the crowd to use and abuse after the show!!! - one can but dream....).
Also, fuckbuddy M is looking up. Had the following text conversation with him today...
M - Hi, how are you?
Me - Ok now. Been poorly all week with tonsilitis. Off work and bored!
M - Ah, poor you. Wish I was off work, I need a holiday bad. At least you going to have fun tomorrow seeing Robbie.
Me - Cheers. You should go on one then. Yeah, should be good. Might come back all hot and horny....
M - Well you might. And sorry for last saturday, I was in N*** staying at M***'s and sunday didn't get in til 11 from A***s. You will have to text me if you're horny when you're on your way home.
Me - Ok. Was beginning to think you were having second thoughts.
M - No, just been too hard to see you. I'm hard now thinking of you.
Me - I never know whether to believe you or not! No matter, either way I guess. Will definitely catch up this weekend.
M - What do you mean that you don't believe me or not?
Me - Whether I believe you get hard thinking about me. You don't seem to find me that hot?
M - Well what I think of is us having sex, and you turn me on thinking of you doing things to me.
Me - Well i look forward to knowing you well enough to know what things to do. Right now I'd make do with sitting on your cock for ten minutes :-)
M - That would be nice right now, and I just have to find what you like.
Me - Oh I'm easily pleased! Sadly I won't have the pleasure of you just now. Have to go and make dinner. How exciting! Make sure you're free tomorrow night.
M - Ok, well if you get fed up later let me know. Enjoy making the dinner x :-)
So, that is looking very hopeful I think. About bloody time!!
That conversation also got me thinking about what I do like, in terms of sex. So, the first list of my blog...
Things I like about men/sex!
1. Men that make noise! It doesn't have to be wailing or screaming (in fact I don't think I would like that at all!!), but men who groan, or grunt, or god love them TALK!!
2. Further from above... men that call me a dirty fucking slut while shagging me. (Only occasionally though, and only when I'm in the mood!).
3. Men that eat (and enjoy) Cream pies!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creampie_(sexual_act) God I love that! There is some female serious power issues going on with this one!!
4. Blow jobs. As above, major female power and control. Adore them!
5. Good kissers! You just can't beat that can you?!
6. Confident men, non-squeamish/prudish/uptight men.
7. Men who cum hard and fast, then recover for the slower version almost immediately.
8. Men who say.... "God I love your tits!" (Being a little paranoid about their mid thirties lack of buoyancy these days!!)
Think that's about it for now. Sure I will think of some more later :-)
Why else am I happy today?? Can't really remember why else now. Damn forgetful brain of mine! Ah well, have rambled enough for anybody today, so see you later....
Friday, September 08, 2006
Rules!!
I dont know what is going on with M but the boy has been giving me ridiculously mixed signals! On Wed night he sent me one of those generic texts, "20 angels in heaven, etc etc, one reading this" to which I replied "cheers but I'm hardly an angel!!". A text conversation ensued which was geared towards me going up to him for a shag, and eventually I decided what the hell I might as well. However, after a quick prossie wash and change I went to text him and tell him I'd be round, only to realise he had texted me 15mins earlier to say I must be having a bath so he was off to bed as he had to be up at 3.30am!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrr!!!!! I ask you!!
Anyway, last night he is at it again, even offering to come down and see me, whatever time I wanted as I couldnt be arsed and was expecting a friend round. After about a dozen texts between 7 and 11 to this effect I was finally beginning to lose my rag, (I don't like being hassled!) so I decided the time had come to set him straight on what it means to be a fuck buddy. Accordingly I texted him my (shortened) set of 10 rules, which I shall share with you now....
Rules for fuck buddies
1) It's sex, not a relationship! - may seem pretty obvious but you'd be amazed the number of people who try casual sex because they really want something more, in my experience this is likely to end in tears and is best to be avoided! Don't try it!
2) Always be respectful and honest - it may not be a relationship, but that doesn't give anybody a license to be disrespectful or deceitful, this will just cause bad feeling and that is never conducive to good sex!
3) It's always ok to request a booty call - that is what it is about! As long as you are discreet about it, and don't announce it over the tannoy at work, then it should be okay to ring/text for a shag whenever you feel like it.
4) It is never okay to assume you have a right to sex. Asking and hoping are completely different from expecting!! (Back to the respect card!!)
5) Never turn up without an invite! - you might not like what you find!!
6) No means no! - it's not a rejection in this situatiion, it's just a no right now. If you're that sensitive I suggest you give the whole thing a miss!
7) Desire and horniness are always attractive, desperation never is! - in line with number 6, don't pile the pressure on... it's really not a good look!
8) If you want out then say so - if you decide you want to call it a day, for whatever reason, then have the courtesy of letting the other person know, there's no need for guilt or game playing.
9) It's a mutual pleasure! - that means you should both get the same out of it.
10) It's not for everyone, and thats ok - but if it works, man it can be fucking great!!!! :-)
So, I sent hm the rules and we shall see how it goes....
Before I go, I just want to say: if you're thinking to yourself 'why bother with all this, why not just shag him and see how it goes?', then what I would say to you is this - I know that me and him will never have a relationship, in fact I don't even know if I'm fully recovered from DM enough to have relationship (although the lovely G at work could tempt me!), and as much as he says he has done "casual" before, I'm not entirely convinced that he can cope with it - in fact his behaviour so far doesn't exactly encourage me! So, I figure that its just easier to lay all the cards on the table and to make sure we are both singing from the same song sheet. I'd like to sleep with him regularly, after all sex is rarely really good sex until you've known each other a while, and what's the point of crap sex in this situation? (or any situation for that matter!!!). This way we both know where we stand and what we are up for, and it prevents confusion and possible heartache in the future.
So, we shall see what the weekend brings.... Hope you all have a good one.
Anyway, last night he is at it again, even offering to come down and see me, whatever time I wanted as I couldnt be arsed and was expecting a friend round. After about a dozen texts between 7 and 11 to this effect I was finally beginning to lose my rag, (I don't like being hassled!) so I decided the time had come to set him straight on what it means to be a fuck buddy. Accordingly I texted him my (shortened) set of 10 rules, which I shall share with you now....
Rules for fuck buddies
1) It's sex, not a relationship! - may seem pretty obvious but you'd be amazed the number of people who try casual sex because they really want something more, in my experience this is likely to end in tears and is best to be avoided! Don't try it!
2) Always be respectful and honest - it may not be a relationship, but that doesn't give anybody a license to be disrespectful or deceitful, this will just cause bad feeling and that is never conducive to good sex!
3) It's always ok to request a booty call - that is what it is about! As long as you are discreet about it, and don't announce it over the tannoy at work, then it should be okay to ring/text for a shag whenever you feel like it.
4) It is never okay to assume you have a right to sex. Asking and hoping are completely different from expecting!! (Back to the respect card!!)
5) Never turn up without an invite! - you might not like what you find!!
6) No means no! - it's not a rejection in this situatiion, it's just a no right now. If you're that sensitive I suggest you give the whole thing a miss!
7) Desire and horniness are always attractive, desperation never is! - in line with number 6, don't pile the pressure on... it's really not a good look!
8) If you want out then say so - if you decide you want to call it a day, for whatever reason, then have the courtesy of letting the other person know, there's no need for guilt or game playing.
9) It's a mutual pleasure! - that means you should both get the same out of it.
10) It's not for everyone, and thats ok - but if it works, man it can be fucking great!!!! :-)
So, I sent hm the rules and we shall see how it goes....
Before I go, I just want to say: if you're thinking to yourself 'why bother with all this, why not just shag him and see how it goes?', then what I would say to you is this - I know that me and him will never have a relationship, in fact I don't even know if I'm fully recovered from DM enough to have relationship (although the lovely G at work could tempt me!), and as much as he says he has done "casual" before, I'm not entirely convinced that he can cope with it - in fact his behaviour so far doesn't exactly encourage me! So, I figure that its just easier to lay all the cards on the table and to make sure we are both singing from the same song sheet. I'd like to sleep with him regularly, after all sex is rarely really good sex until you've known each other a while, and what's the point of crap sex in this situation? (or any situation for that matter!!!). This way we both know where we stand and what we are up for, and it prevents confusion and possible heartache in the future.
So, we shall see what the weekend brings.... Hope you all have a good one.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Booty call.... or lack of!!
Hello peeps,
Hope you all had a good weekend, mine was quite good although somewhat disappointing on the shagging situation...
As I've mentioned before, I have a potential new fuck buddy, M, who I have known (not well) for years and then ended up going out for a drink with a few weeks ago. It was ok but I think we were both aware that there wasn't really a potential future and that was cool with me. As we know the same sort of people we bumped into each other at a mutual friend's party a couple of weeks later and after he was giving it the big talk I figured I'd see whether he was all mouth and no trousers, and eventually he made the move (about 5am!!!) and we ended up shagging.
Now in terms of quality there was definite improvements to be had, but he definitely had potential for some good sex, which is all I'm looking for at the moment. However, much as people talk about casual sex, its not easy to pull it off successfully. In my experience (which trust me is not little), one person usually wants more than the other and this inevitably leads to difficulties. In fact, in all my sexual experiences I can honestly say I have only ever had one completely successful fuck buddy, C, so I appreciate the requirements, and I'm not sure M is completely up for it.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, we had a few texts Saturday night, instigated by me this time, and I eventually left my mates in the pub at about 1.30am to fulfill my booty call!! Just at the end of his road, and he texts to say his mate is coming over because he's had a massive row with his ex and wants to chat about it! Honestly, what's a girl to do??!!!!! So no booty call for me this weekend :-(
Ah well, came home, rang my friend in New Zealand, yapped for an hour to her and then watched some porn and had a wank. So not a complete waste of a Saturday night :-)
Hope you all had a good weekend, mine was quite good although somewhat disappointing on the shagging situation...
As I've mentioned before, I have a potential new fuck buddy, M, who I have known (not well) for years and then ended up going out for a drink with a few weeks ago. It was ok but I think we were both aware that there wasn't really a potential future and that was cool with me. As we know the same sort of people we bumped into each other at a mutual friend's party a couple of weeks later and after he was giving it the big talk I figured I'd see whether he was all mouth and no trousers, and eventually he made the move (about 5am!!!) and we ended up shagging.
Now in terms of quality there was definite improvements to be had, but he definitely had potential for some good sex, which is all I'm looking for at the moment. However, much as people talk about casual sex, its not easy to pull it off successfully. In my experience (which trust me is not little), one person usually wants more than the other and this inevitably leads to difficulties. In fact, in all my sexual experiences I can honestly say I have only ever had one completely successful fuck buddy, C, so I appreciate the requirements, and I'm not sure M is completely up for it.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, we had a few texts Saturday night, instigated by me this time, and I eventually left my mates in the pub at about 1.30am to fulfill my booty call!! Just at the end of his road, and he texts to say his mate is coming over because he's had a massive row with his ex and wants to chat about it! Honestly, what's a girl to do??!!!!! So no booty call for me this weekend :-(
Ah well, came home, rang my friend in New Zealand, yapped for an hour to her and then watched some porn and had a wank. So not a complete waste of a Saturday night :-)
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