Was just wrapping up at work this evening, about half seven and my phone pinged. My first thought was it was probably X moaning about when I would be home, so I was most surprised on checking it to see that it was Kane...! "Hi OG, I hope this message finds you well? I know the world has turned but I was wondering if you would consider getting together at some point? Kane x"
Random, but nicely so, and glad I hadn't text him on 14th as he probably would have responded and I would have thought it was just politeness! Anyway, I left it a while and then responded, and the upshot of the next few messages was that we are going for drinks on Sunday night!! Am pretty smiley now, although aware of the one strike already so not going to get over excited! Unfortunately, although he is still right up there on the potential list, the shine has been tarnished with a touch of caution. Still very worth the punt though, so will see what Sunday brings...!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Recovered!
So, a week later and I've got over my little self pity party and am back to normal! Still very disappointed, but back in a place of 'them' s the breaks'! It's his son's birthday today and I was very tempted to just drop him a quick 'hope the birthday went well' text but decided against it! If he'd responded to my last text I might have felt differently, but I'm not chasing!
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Another One Bites the Dust
After a week of hearing nothing further from Kane, which I expected given his cancellation, but still completely in the dark about why he'd bailed, I text him this evening to see what's occurring. Kept it very light, obviously, and basically said 'Seems you've changed your mind, that's a shame, bit puzzled as to why'. He tried pretty quickly with a lengthy, very complementary text that apologised and said, in essence, it's 'not you I just don't think I'm ready for dating'. I responded, bright and breezy to say I though he was over thinking but no worries and to give me a shout if he gets brave, but he didn't text back so not going to hold my breath!
Still disappointed, but have to trust it's more him than me, so will pull up my big girl pants and crack on. Fucking annoying though, as he is proper lovely! Do have a sense he may well cross my path again though... even if I have to hunt him down and stalk him to make it happen, lol.
Still disappointed, but have to trust it's more him than me, so will pull up my big girl pants and crack on. Fucking annoying though, as he is proper lovely! Do have a sense he may well cross my path again though... even if I have to hunt him down and stalk him to make it happen, lol.
Thursday, November 05, 2015
Sad
I don't know why I would let myself believe that something might actually go right in the romance department. I'm not made for loving it seems. I feel stupid for still having faith after all these years, and sad that I'm so stupid to still believe. Right now I genuinely feel like nobody will ever love me. Why would they?
Wednesday, November 04, 2015
Disappointed
So, after everything seemed to be just lovely and great, this afternoon I had the following text from Kane: "Hi OG, really sorry but I need to cancel Thursday. I've got to sort out my car and change a few things round with the bank... I'll give you a shout next week sometime. x".
I have absolutely no idea what to make of it!!
Half of me thinks it's a legitimate reason (he's currently using a hire car as his was in an accident - and he told me on Monday he'd not long been in after putting down deposit on new car), and that I have no reason to doubt given our previous contact, the other (much louder) half is thinking that's a lame excuse seeing as the banks close at 5 and we weren't meeting until 8, and that it's a cop out that isn't going to get rearranged.
I'm so disappointed though. I know it's no big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I was looking forward to it, and for once, had done everything properly. I can't help but feel "fuck it, knew it was too good to be true, why would anybody be interested in me, stupid to believe it". Doesn't matter how much I can logically reason that it might still happen, or that even if it doesn't it's highly likely to be about him, not me, I still feel like I've done something wrong, or am somehow to blame for being so lacking.
Frankly, it feels more than a bit rubbish :-(
I have absolutely no idea what to make of it!!
Half of me thinks it's a legitimate reason (he's currently using a hire car as his was in an accident - and he told me on Monday he'd not long been in after putting down deposit on new car), and that I have no reason to doubt given our previous contact, the other (much louder) half is thinking that's a lame excuse seeing as the banks close at 5 and we weren't meeting until 8, and that it's a cop out that isn't going to get rearranged.
I'm so disappointed though. I know it's no big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I was looking forward to it, and for once, had done everything properly. I can't help but feel "fuck it, knew it was too good to be true, why would anybody be interested in me, stupid to believe it". Doesn't matter how much I can logically reason that it might still happen, or that even if it doesn't it's highly likely to be about him, not me, I still feel like I've done something wrong, or am somehow to blame for being so lacking.
Frankly, it feels more than a bit rubbish :-(
Monday, November 02, 2015
Typical
Best laid plans and all that...! Rang the fondue place to find it's cancelled this week due to Firework Night!! (I have booked next Thursday somewhat optimistically!)
Text Kane this evening to say the fondue night was cancelled so did he fancy local theatre, or just drinks, and he responded that he loves the theatre (another tick) but it's not really conducive to conversation, so did I fancy drinks in his local town or mine.
As we'd texted several times each to get to this point in the conversation, I decided I couldn't be arsed with more texting but would bite the bullet and just call. Plus, I figured it would give a bit of an indicator as to whether we could sustain a conversation easily, and my only reservations from Saturday had been whether he was too serious for me. He picked up, sounded pleased to hear from me, we chit chatted, agreed when and where for Thursday, and before I knew it more than half an hour had gone by, actually much more easily than I'd anticipated!
Was also nice that the conversation included us meeting, and he said he'd spotted me earlier but wasn't sure if I was checking out him or his mate, lol. I reassured him it was clearly him, but nice to know I didn't bully him into it. He also said several times what a great night it was, and a couple of other compliments about my clothes and him digging the dress/jeans combo I was wearing, which is a good job as I'm partial to that look, as I told him!
Ended agreeing I'd text and check all was well Wed evening, which he said was fine but he might not hear any texts between 8 and 10pm as it was band practice, and so looks like the hot date is on!! I actually feel a bit more excited now, so just to figure out what to wear (and how to not eat for 3days!!).
Text Kane this evening to say the fondue night was cancelled so did he fancy local theatre, or just drinks, and he responded that he loves the theatre (another tick) but it's not really conducive to conversation, so did I fancy drinks in his local town or mine.
As we'd texted several times each to get to this point in the conversation, I decided I couldn't be arsed with more texting but would bite the bullet and just call. Plus, I figured it would give a bit of an indicator as to whether we could sustain a conversation easily, and my only reservations from Saturday had been whether he was too serious for me. He picked up, sounded pleased to hear from me, we chit chatted, agreed when and where for Thursday, and before I knew it more than half an hour had gone by, actually much more easily than I'd anticipated!
Was also nice that the conversation included us meeting, and he said he'd spotted me earlier but wasn't sure if I was checking out him or his mate, lol. I reassured him it was clearly him, but nice to know I didn't bully him into it. He also said several times what a great night it was, and a couple of other compliments about my clothes and him digging the dress/jeans combo I was wearing, which is a good job as I'm partial to that look, as I told him!
Ended agreeing I'd text and check all was well Wed evening, which he said was fine but he might not hear any texts between 8 and 10pm as it was band practice, and so looks like the hot date is on!! I actually feel a bit more excited now, so just to figure out what to wear (and how to not eat for 3days!!).
Sunday, November 01, 2015
La La La
Just woke up to text from Kane:
"Mornin Lady. I sent you a link for What's App. It's a good free way to chat. Cool if not your thang. I'm thinking a get together on the eve of 14th Nov? Also I'm good on most week night's, maybe you would like to come over for some dinner? x"
Woop woop. Can't think of a better text to receive in the circumstances of meeting someone the night before!
I responded to say I couldn't do 14th but how about Thurs, and after toing and froing about what to do, we agreed on a local fondue night for this Thursday night. Just got to hope it's on now!
A Most Suitable Man!
For the third time in 6 weeks I find another man crossing my path. This one, however, being not only very suitable, but also very lovely!!!
Ended up going out with Bea tonight, somewhat randomly as it had been my intention to have a quiet night in! As usual, we ended up down the local and it didn't take me long to spot a handsome chap across the bar! As he was probably slightly out of my league, and I was feeling pretty 'fuck it', I thought I'd chance my arm, so smiled widely when he went past, and then did a bit of blatant clocking him for a while, followed by strategic bar visit when he went to get a drink. I gave him a very wide smile and he said hello, followed by "I like your shoes, I clocked those earlier". Bit random, but any opening is an opening...! I responded with "I don't think they'd fit you", but he just said "I didn't mean for me" and then wandered off. So, not going well...
Not one to give up too easily, and with the ice broken, I strategically placed myself to be within arms distance to allow follow up of conversation. Not five minutes later, after another smile from me, he suddenly reached across to take my wrist and started to talk about my tattoo, which is, apparently, one of four symbols on a Led Zeppelin album, and he has another of the four on his shoulder.
We spent the next little while generally chit chatting, during which I discovered he is 39, lives in next large town, has a 7yr old son, has been separated from his sons Mum for about 12months (and spoke in a very positive way about the break up), works in business development, and was in the band playing before we had arrived. All good so far, plus he's sober (driving), plus he is almost my perfect physical type! Happy days!!
So, the night goes on. Some chatting, some seperate time, some chatting again, and then about 12.45am, it's just me and him of our respective crowds and he suddenly gets all bashful before asking if I'd like to go out sometime :-) I give him my number, get him to call while we're listening so we know it's in right, and then we continue chatting and mingling for another 45minutes or so before he and his mate make a move to go. We say goodbye, agree be lovely to see each other again, and off he goes!
About 15minutes later I go to save his number in my phone and accidentally call him!! After a desperate dash to cancel I realise it will probably show as a missed call, (and he'll assume I'm a stalker!!), so text to say "Sorry, was trying to save your number and called accidentally. Lovely to meet you. Speak soon! OG". He responded with "Likewise, it was proper nice to meet you too. I've just realised, we didn't have that dance, dam! Hopefully I'll get one soon...x", to which I responded "Definitely! x"
I think it's fair to say I am a happy bunny going to bed now!
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Hilarity
Literally a week after being wanked off in my hallway, Ollie has changed his Facebook status to 'In a Relationship'. Not with me, thank fuck!
I never understand how you can change Facebook so quickly into something. Bloody laughable :-)
I never understand how you can change Facebook so quickly into something. Bloody laughable :-)
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Farewell Ollie!
So, after a week of bouncing backwards and forwards with flirty messages, my weekend did not result in me getting laid!
I text him yesterday morning just to say forget it, no worries, all cool; I don't want him thinking me going incommunicado is as a result of arsiness!! He hasn't responded, so deal done!
I can't be arsed with things being such hard work! Plus, I absolutely cannot sustain this level of twitchiness, and diy will only take you so far!
It is irritating though. I was out for a birthday in local town last night, and the place was literally full of boys! Boys or old men!! Not a single one I would have considered even snogging!
I'm disappointed, as Ollie would have been a great option, and I really do need to get back on the horse; it has been far, far too long, and DM certainly isn't coming back to save the day. That said, fortunately the mad, mad state I've been in for the last couple of weeks, because I was bad before Ollie came on the scene, (due to bloody DM messaging) and he kicked it up a notch, has abated and normal service can resume!
Besides. I may have another iron potentially in the fire... :-)
I text him yesterday morning just to say forget it, no worries, all cool; I don't want him thinking me going incommunicado is as a result of arsiness!! He hasn't responded, so deal done!
I can't be arsed with things being such hard work! Plus, I absolutely cannot sustain this level of twitchiness, and diy will only take you so far!
It is irritating though. I was out for a birthday in local town last night, and the place was literally full of boys! Boys or old men!! Not a single one I would have considered even snogging!
I'm disappointed, as Ollie would have been a great option, and I really do need to get back on the horse; it has been far, far too long, and DM certainly isn't coming back to save the day. That said, fortunately the mad, mad state I've been in for the last couple of weeks, because I was bad before Ollie came on the scene, (due to bloody DM messaging) and he kicked it up a notch, has abated and normal service can resume!
Besides. I may have another iron potentially in the fire... :-)
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Why...
... is it so fucking complicated to find a friend with benefits?!! For fucks sake, what is wrong with men these days?
Perhaps I'm odd, but having someone you can ring and go "fancy going pub for a few hours", or " fancy coming round and shagging me senseless ", or "I'm just headed home from a night out and wondered if you're up for a visit", should be every man's dream shouldn't it?!
Seems like nowadays men have to over think everything and have lost the ability to think with their dicks! It is more than a little frustrating!!!
Perhaps I'm odd, but having someone you can ring and go "fancy going pub for a few hours", or " fancy coming round and shagging me senseless ", or "I'm just headed home from a night out and wondered if you're up for a visit", should be every man's dream shouldn't it?!
Seems like nowadays men have to over think everything and have lost the ability to think with their dicks! It is more than a little frustrating!!!
Friday, September 25, 2015
The game goes on...
Well, after not responding to my message Tues morning, the game seemed back on when I messaged him Wed evening. He responded straight away, and had about an hour and a half of messaging throughout the evening. He followed that up with messages through Thursday day, which was a new one, so all was looking good for a good day today, as we were both off work.
However!! Today the boy is playing hard to get, leaving me more than bloody antsy!!! Was planning a day of brief alone time, to get the itch out of the way, followed by a day in the pub, and then a hot and heavy session later! Instead, I have had flirty messages but no bloody action! I am more than a little frustrated!
Even text SG in my needy state, probably a good thing he's busy tonight!
However!! Today the boy is playing hard to get, leaving me more than bloody antsy!!! Was planning a day of brief alone time, to get the itch out of the way, followed by a day in the pub, and then a hot and heavy session later! Instead, I have had flirty messages but no bloody action! I am more than a little frustrated!
Even text SG in my needy state, probably a good thing he's busy tonight!
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Ollie
Have only just got to bed! And on a school night as well!
Following on from Saturday night's shenanigans, much messaging occurred Sunday evening, of amusing but interesting enough levels of flirty, and continued in to Monday evening, culminating in a late night visit from Ollie, last night.
After spending several hours chatting random shit, from the perils of crying rape, to the value of Gogglebox, it got to 3am, and we both needed to call it a night. Despite the fact we'd just spent all that time on the sofa, no snogging occurred until he was leaving, which then resulted in a hot and heavy session in my hallway, resulting in him with his clock out and me with a very wet patch on the front of my dress!! Not the classiest of starts but hey ho :-)
It wasn't the best sexual encounter I've ever had; far from it! It was, however, very nice, and there were flashes of moments that may have the potential to develop. He left not long after, slightly off, which may well be as a result of it being half three in the morning, but may equally be the start of a big freeze!
It's funny, as there are elements of how we interact that remind me very much of DM and I. That very open communication right from the start, particularly sexually. I have felt no qualms in being completely boldly with him, and could see that developing as time goes on, but I'm not sure there is that real Grrr factor that is so important, although we weren't in the best of circumstances, and I am trying to adjust to a chunked body frame, when I'm so used to lean!!
I'm interested to see how it develops, and will be disappointed if he now bails, but certainly won't be heartbroken! Watch this space I guess....!
Following on from Saturday night's shenanigans, much messaging occurred Sunday evening, of amusing but interesting enough levels of flirty, and continued in to Monday evening, culminating in a late night visit from Ollie, last night.
After spending several hours chatting random shit, from the perils of crying rape, to the value of Gogglebox, it got to 3am, and we both needed to call it a night. Despite the fact we'd just spent all that time on the sofa, no snogging occurred until he was leaving, which then resulted in a hot and heavy session in my hallway, resulting in him with his clock out and me with a very wet patch on the front of my dress!! Not the classiest of starts but hey ho :-)
It wasn't the best sexual encounter I've ever had; far from it! It was, however, very nice, and there were flashes of moments that may have the potential to develop. He left not long after, slightly off, which may well be as a result of it being half three in the morning, but may equally be the start of a big freeze!
It's funny, as there are elements of how we interact that remind me very much of DM and I. That very open communication right from the start, particularly sexually. I have felt no qualms in being completely boldly with him, and could see that developing as time goes on, but I'm not sure there is that real Grrr factor that is so important, although we weren't in the best of circumstances, and I am trying to adjust to a chunked body frame, when I'm so used to lean!!
I'm interested to see how it develops, and will be disappointed if he now bails, but certainly won't be heartbroken! Watch this space I guess....!
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Introducing...
Ollie!
Had to work yesterday, to do interviews I couldn't fit in in the week, and despite being knackered, and with Y at her Dad's as an added bonus, I had random and mad urge to you out and get fucked up, and/or fucked!
Might have been the power of job offering, lol, might have been bloody DM Facebook contact in last few weeks kicking my hormone into overdrive, but whatever it was it inspired me to contact Bea to see if she fancied a few hours in local town, and coincidentally she was just going to message me to say it was her ex-lodgers birthday so did I fancy town!
So, out we went, and duly met up with the birthday boy (27) and a bunch of fit young men! Sounds perfect but to be fair, I'm not really into particularly younger men, a couple of years will do me. However, there was one young man, 34, who caught my eye! Nice looking, though slightly porkier than I like (bearing in mind I like nothing more than hips you can wake up with bruises from, and a stomach concave enough to drink from!), and with a bit of polishing required, but the basic good looks, stupid cheesy funny sense of humour, smart, and most importantly just the right side of cocky!
So, fast forward 5hrs to home time, after flirting, dancing, laughing and flirting some more (mainly from me as I was in particularly bolshy form , lol) and its time for home! Managed to successfully wrangle dropping off birthday boy and then Bea, leaving me to drive Ollie home! Bit of chit chat, few clear signs and then the joy of snogging across front seats!
Snogging is good for the soul, perfect snogging even better !! I managed to reign myself in (mainly because it was 4.30am, he lives with a housemate, and my house was too much of a tip to invite him to, lol), and drove home a short while later with a smile on my face!!
Bloody knackered now though!
Had to work yesterday, to do interviews I couldn't fit in in the week, and despite being knackered, and with Y at her Dad's as an added bonus, I had random and mad urge to you out and get fucked up, and/or fucked!
Might have been the power of job offering, lol, might have been bloody DM Facebook contact in last few weeks kicking my hormone into overdrive, but whatever it was it inspired me to contact Bea to see if she fancied a few hours in local town, and coincidentally she was just going to message me to say it was her ex-lodgers birthday so did I fancy town!
So, out we went, and duly met up with the birthday boy (27) and a bunch of fit young men! Sounds perfect but to be fair, I'm not really into particularly younger men, a couple of years will do me. However, there was one young man, 34, who caught my eye! Nice looking, though slightly porkier than I like (bearing in mind I like nothing more than hips you can wake up with bruises from, and a stomach concave enough to drink from!), and with a bit of polishing required, but the basic good looks, stupid cheesy funny sense of humour, smart, and most importantly just the right side of cocky!
So, fast forward 5hrs to home time, after flirting, dancing, laughing and flirting some more (mainly from me as I was in particularly bolshy form , lol) and its time for home! Managed to successfully wrangle dropping off birthday boy and then Bea, leaving me to drive Ollie home! Bit of chit chat, few clear signs and then the joy of snogging across front seats!
Snogging is good for the soul, perfect snogging even better !! I managed to reign myself in (mainly because it was 4.30am, he lives with a housemate, and my house was too much of a tip to invite him to, lol), and drove home a short while later with a smile on my face!!
Bloody knackered now though!
Tuesday, August 04, 2015
Success
So, after a 5hr assessment centre, involving psychometric testing, written exercise, presentation, group exercise, role play and formal interview, I got the job!
Not entirely sure I want it to be fair, but career girl is the path I'm on so time to pull up my big girl pants and expect a continuation of the current minimum 50hr weeks for the next 6months at least...
Only 1215 weeks to retirement :-)
Not entirely sure I want it to be fair, but career girl is the path I'm on so time to pull up my big girl pants and expect a continuation of the current minimum 50hr weeks for the next 6months at least...
Only 1215 weeks to retirement :-)
Sunday, August 02, 2015
Moving on up... (maybe!)
Big job interview tomorrow, for the next step up the career ladder! Can't say I'm desperate for it, but its the next logical step, and the successful candidate will be my immediate line manager if I dont get it, so I have a vested interest. Particularly considering one of my competitors is a twat, and I could not bear to have him!!
That said, I am currently procrastinating instead of getting on with my presentation, or updating my change management and management style knowledge...!
That said, I am currently procrastinating instead of getting on with my presentation, or updating my change management and management style knowledge...!
Saturday, January 10, 2015
And home...!
So, this time round it took a delayed flight, missed connection,lots of queuing trying to rearrange flights, lots of sitting around in airports, and flights via random places, but after 56hrs that's it. Holidays are over!
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