Missing Inaction - pt2

The following week brought little respite from my mood. Not sadness, or anger, or even loss; just a sense of flatness over the hours. And for once, Blogland was not a place I wanted to be.

I don't know quite what had changed, or when, but I seemed to have developed into a prissy middle-aged critic all of a sudden. I've never been prudish, I've never been easily offended, I've always hedged towards the darker side of life, and of sexuality, but lately everywhere I look I see sadness, and infidelity, and deception and people settling for random sex when they want (and deserve) so much more. And I'm tired of it all. Tired of the pain and the wasting of too little time. Tired of the darker side of life.

I want to read of love. Of happy ever afters. Of people who reach and achieve. Of people who live a life based on positive emotions and positive choices. Of lives that don't parallel my continuing trudge just to stand still. Of lives I am increasingly afraid I will never achieve. So, I stepped back, and stepped away. Trying to get back to the place I used to be, to the person I used to be. I've even been bored of myself this week.

And as the week lifted my mood has done the same. Slowly but surely. Until yesterday I thought fuck it! Time to ignore, ignore, ignore. No more dwelling!! Life goes on. Blah de blah de blah. Just a few more days to get back on track.