Looking for answers

Ever since DM and I parted company - well, officially parted company! I have struggled and struggled to find the answers for why. I know that love and logic don't necessarily combine, but even so, trying to find an answer is natural to me, and part of what has kept me so entwined in this is not understanding where it all went wrong.

I have discussed it with friends, with strangers, and with him and even now it is difficult to get an answer. He eventually gave some to me a long time ago, but when I last saw him he told me he'd said things to try and call it a day, and to try and make me call it a day, so those answers are still elusive. I understand how he felt, and I understand why he went because of that (and some personal emotional baggaged), but I don't understand why he felt that way in the first place.

So, after contact last weekend this struggle to understand has popped out of the box it was firmly wedged in, and again I have found myself trying to find a bigger (and better) reason, or something I can put this experience into context of. As part of this, I found the following, something from the stars!

MUTABLE (me) with FIXED (DM)
Your trouble is, you can't resist a challenge. Your partner CAN. All too easily. Your partner loves nothing more than to resist every challenge that ever crops up.

Nobody, but nobody, challenges your loved one and gets away with it. Apart, of course, from you. Some might describe the ensuing conflict as 'dynamic tension'. That's probably what you think it is. There's something quite thrilling about teasing, seducing or pushing someone past the point where they usually say 'enough is enough'.

When the object of the exercise is sensual pleasure, that's perfect. It probably explains why your poor, long suffering loved one keeps coming back for more. Yet when the same principle is applied to daily life, it makes every conversation a struggle; a tussle for power or a wrestling match for control.

As I say, you can't resist a challenge. It amuses you to keep exploring new options. Yet your partner prefers familiarity. Routine. consistency. Yawn.

How can someone be so lovely and yet so unadventurous? This is by no means a hopeless relationship. But it needs more than hope if it is to thrive.

FIRE (me) with EARTH (DM)
This is not an easy relationship but it is, potentially, an immensely rewarding one.

It offers much needed fuel to the fire sign person. It brings much needed energy to the earth sign person's life. The trouble is, it also brings resistance, on both sides. The earth sign partner wants to resist being totally consumed. Fire breaks get dug. Fire pits get built. The earthy one tries to ensure that fiery one will only do as bidden.

The fire sign person though, wants to break all those rules. Fire does not appreciate being contained. A power struggle ensues. It is one that neither can ever win. And so, you might think, the relationship has little, other than a struggle, to offer. But fire loves a challenge. There is nothing that it will not try to envelop. Earth too, thrives on change and transformation.

When earth is heated up as far as possible, it becomes a bubbling mass of energy. It comes to life. It erupts, spectacularly. That kind of passion, in an earth sign person, can ONLY be created by the heat of fire. That's why the physical attraction is so strong. Every self respecting fire wants to make the maximum impact possible on its environment.

And every still, strong, silent mountain secretly wants to become a volcano.

It surprisingly makes a lot of sense and is quite an accurate portrayal of both me and him - the negatives, and maybe a glimpse into what keeps us still in communication (of sorts).

Another perspective.