Happy Birthday to me...

Having spent a lovely day with my sister being pampered at Ragdale Hall today I now have a banging headache!  Bit rubbish!  Maybe Babycham will help...!

Her Maj

Tomorrow I am going to see The Queen! The actual Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. Pray for dry weather! Exciting!!!!

I should just explain... I'm not visiting her at Buckingham Palace, but have a personal invitation to a posh event at Burghley House - how fabulous!

Fortune cookie

After a busy day today at a near(ish) scarecrow festival, and a visit to Disco for some boyfriend break up (again) supporting, Chinese takeaway was on the menu. After the meal I opened the solitary fortune cookie provided to find not one, but two, fortunes awaiting my perusal. Fortune number 1 - Be prepared for a sudden, needed, and happy change in plans. Fortune number 2 - Good news is on the way.

Well, you can't get better than that can you! Fingers crossed fortune cookies are actually some mystical and magical way of perfectly predicting the future - instead of factory manufactured confectionary thoughts.

Onwards

Well, Saturday was a pretty ropey day, but fortunately I had no kiddies so could indulge in a few tears, going back to bed all morning, reading all afternoon, some head clearing driving (and smoking) and then an evening with Lily before working from 11pm to 2am on outreach.

Sunday was another alone day, so I did pretty much the same again - without the tears or driving - and now it's back to normal service resumed. No point in continuing to dwell, however frustrating the whole thing is!

I am off work this week, thank goodness, so spent a lazy day with the kids (and a new Martina Cole novel) yesterday, with a trip to a local country park to get a bit of exercise and blow away the cobwebs in the afternoon, followed by a trip to a local farm centre this afternoon with X (Y declined!) to see some animals and end up on a 2 mile round walk!

In house news, I've now been told that it won't be completed until the end of May!!! For fuck's sake, though looking on the bright side it does give me 2 more paydays to save a bit of cash and pay for my carpets. The only problem being that my mortgage offer runs out the middle of June so they better get there fingers out or the whole thing will be off completely.

And that's about it at the moment! Oh, the excitement....!

Seasonal shenanigans

So, I've been away for a while, time to catch up on the festive period I guess!

Christmas Day started with an early morning call from X at around 5.30am, which was (just about) delayed until 8am when I fuinally succumbed to getting out of bed! We have a Christmas Day rule in our house that nobody is allowed downstairs until everybody is up and dressed, and no presents are opened (excepting their stockings and the present on their bed from Father Christmas) until after we have all had breakfast. As such, we managed to make present opening last until about 11am, and then set off to collect my littlest little brother from worktown, before setting off to spend the rest of the day at my little sister's in Oxford, along with biggest little brother, mum and her partner. The journey there was pretty uneventful, and much teasing of the encountered RAF boys on the base ensued, before getting to my sister's, whose small house was positively brimming with unopened presents, opened presents and the debris from the latter!

I had a pretty good haul this year, including; new hair straighteners, cool Ug type boots, several new CD's, a bottle of Advocaat, Robbie Williams calender, some nice smellies, new cordless house phones, and a lovely bracelet from Y, which is an Argos copy of the Links of London sweetie bracelet I wanted. Bless him!

The rest of the day was fabulously festive, and Christmas dinner was positively scrummy! I haven't seen biggest little brother for 2 years, so it was great to catch up with him as well as the rest of the family crowd, and it felt like a real family Christmas this year, including the obligatory teasing, provoking and loudness from us all together. Both X and Y were well behaved, and apart from an hour being lost at 11pm at night after leaving, the day was great.

Boxing Day was a more local, and quieter affair, with a slower start to the morning and then a short trip to my growing up town, to spend the day with my dad, his partner, her grandson and littlest little brother again. Much quieter, (with some lovely boiled ham and cheese sauce on the menu), but a nice relaxed day nonetheless.

More travelling on Thursday, as we set off to mate Mick's, in Manchester. We didn't set off until late afternoon, as he was working, but the traffic was just dreadful. Finally arrived about 6pm, and cajoled him into ordering pizza in as we hadn't managed to stop off on the way to eat. After being shown round his new home, settled the kids to bed and then settled down for an evening of wine, chatting and more chatting. Suddenly found it was 2.30am and I had drunk nearly a whole bottle of wine, without feeling slightly pissed (a miracle for me!), and then made the mistake of finishing the bottle and feeling bladdered! Finally staggered up to to bed around 3.30am!

Friday was spent mooching in the morning before heading off for the Trafford Centre, where more mooching occurred before a really rubbish meal in an 'American Diner', and then more mooching! Headed out of there around 5pm and sat for literally 45mins in the car park without even moving an inch!! Fortunately, X and Y managed to amuse themselves by guessing the flavour of Jelly Beans in the back seat and after a decision to exit the other way, followed by an illegal U-turn we finally managed to escape the car park around 6pm! More putting the world to rights in the evening, with less wine but a box of chocolates, and a much more reasonable bedtime! Mick was working again Saturday, so we set off home again pretty early and managed to get back in good time. It was lovely to see him, as I haven't seen him since he came up for a wedding in August, but I was glad to be home and be able to relax properly for the next few days.

And relax we did! Sunday and Monday were spent at home doing pretty much nothing! Managed to chat to JTRC for rather longer than her phone bill would like, but other than that I didn't do very much at all.

So New Years Eve had rolled around, and we were lucky enough to all be invited to Lily's for an evening of food, friends and copious amounts of Nintendo Wii playing, christened by ourselves as New Years Wiive! Lily had made some fabulous chilli, and other yummy delights and Mr Lily had set up the conservatory with the Wii projected onto the wall, so there was lots of room for kids (and adults!) to compete! Not the craziest of evenings, but really good nonetheless, and considering the number of children (and the fact mine were there!) there was no squabbling or upset at all. All managed to stay awake for NY countdown, (including X - just about!) and we finally got home at 1.30am.

Another year is here I guess...

Reverse countdown

Blimey, it seems I have so much to write that it feels like an onerous task instead of enjoyable blogging! As such, I may just precis in order to get it all down (well that and the fact that I'm a rubbish writer!).

Wednesday...
Went to the award ceremony in London, which was spiffing! The place is a small conference centre thing, right next to Westminster Abbey, in a place called Dean's Yard. Yard being an ironic term, as it has it's own security gates to get into this private square, with a large (and I mean large) lawn in the centre, conference centre on one side, Westminster Abbey opposite, and then residential/business premises either side, with Big Ben visible over the rooftops on the right hand side. It was amazing to be honest. Just so peaceful, you would never have guessed you were right in the middle of London!

So, we did the ceremony, had lots of pictures taken, got our certificate and then headed off to Harrods for a look around. After some browsing and buying (browsing only from me!) three of us headed to a little pub in Knightsbridge while the other three headed off to H&M! We finally got on a train home about 7pm, and I eventually arrived home, absolutely shattered, around 8.30pm. It was a good day though!

Thursday...
Blah, blah, blah. Work, work, work.

Friday...
Blah, blah, blah. Work, work, work.

Saturday...
After a hectic day of swimming lessons (X), junior league bowling (Y), and the horrors of town in the run up to Christmas, Saturday night I was out with Bea to see a band in a nearby town. Interestingly, SG was scheduled to be joining us but I was expecting him to bottle it and back out at the last minute. Lo, and behold, though, he turned up as planned, with wife and wife's friend as well.

This is the first time I had seen him since July, when we shagged, and we haven't even had a great deal of text or phone chat, so I was a little unsure how he'd be. Things seemed to be fine though, with no obvious atmosphere, and about half way through the night he rang me in the bar whilst he was outside for a fag, so we managed to get some time alone. To talk, before you think it!

He'd had a bit of "dutch courage" by this point, but basically he said how good it was to see me, that he was glad we were all cool, that although he loved his wife what had happened between us had been really special to him, that he still thought about me a lot, that he'd never done anything like that with anybody else and it mean't a lot to him, and ya de ya de yah. To be honest, it was quite nice to hear, and I do believe absolutely genuine, although I would have been cool without it. It was quite clear that he'd felt bad about it, but that he didn't regret it, and that he didn't want me to have felt bad about it. At that point, Bea came out looking for us, so the conversation veered quickly elsewhere, and we didn't really get a chance to chat again.

They (SG, wife, wife's friend) left not long after, at about the point I whispered to him "You'd better get going soon, because I'm starting to get the horn", which saw him dashing up and trying to usher 2 drunken women home! We had several hugs goodbye though, and whispered reassurances that everything was cool, and I was pleased with how it went. I miss catching up with him to be honest, not to mention the added bonus of the eye candy of him and a bit of a flirt.

That turned out to not be all though, as texting resumed not long after he left, which I will leave for the other blog. Needless to say, nothing physical happened, but although I was convinced it was unlikely to again, now I'd say it may take a time for him to get his head round things, but there is a stronger likelihood that given the right situation it might just repeat itself. Who knows! I'm not that bothered either way really, though seeing him has kickstarted my libido again I must say, and I'm pretty sure I'd revisit the situation!

Sunday...
After a late night of texting, I had a very lazy day yesterday, only venturing out for Macdonalds and to have a quick peek at how "my" house building is getting on! Ended up not being able to get to sleep last night though - partly a very long lie-in and partly a head full of horniness!

Monday...
Woke up this morning to X telling me that the cat had been bleeding all over the sofa, and on further investigation it seems to be the same place as the abcess he had a month ago. Don't really know what to do about it, as I took him to the vet's last month and he had a weeks worth of antibiotics and it seemed to have cleared up. He hasn't scrathed all the fur off yet, and there is no obvious swelling or pus, like last time, so I will just see how he goes over the next couple of days.

Spent today, at work, visiting some of the parlours in my hometown and Saturday night's local town, which is always eye opening, so work was good. Had a call this morning from the Mortgage Broker to say I needed to get a form filled in by the local housing association about the property, which seems a bit premature, as I haven't actually been offered it yet! Also to tell me I need to send it with a cheque for £190 valuation fee. Oh joy! Then, bloody ironically, the new housing association that has taken over all the council's housing stock rang me this afternoon to offer me a house transfer! Sodding typical! So, now I don't really know what to do.

The transfer they have offered me is in an area I wouldn't particularly want to live in, but it is a 3 bedroom and is, apparently, "a very, nice, clean and tidy house". I think I might go and see it, and try a bit of delaying tactic until I hear from the shared ownership housing association. I really want to proceed with the house buying thing, but if that falls through then I will be kicking myself that I refused a transfer. It's just so annoying that they've decided to offer it to me now, instead of 6 months ago!!

Missing Inaction - pt 1

I have needed some time away from Blogland. Time away from myself would have been preferable, but harder to achieve.

The wedding was good, really good. The weather was beautiful, the service lovely, and I looked fabulous!

It was really great to catch up with Mick, and despite the fact that he ended the evening absolutely plastered and asleep on someone's sofa (after I'd left for home), we had a great time rushing around to get ready and there on time, holding his hand as he faced his life long crush for the first time in years (my ex-bf BB!), and chattering, teasing and squabbling like an old married couple.

But despite it being so lovely, and me having a really good time, I just ended the night feeling... I don't know, bereft I suppose.

I left the after party at Smiler's at about 1.30am, and was glad Mick was staying as I just needed some time on my own to clear my head. I think it is the nature of weddings in general. All that emotion. This one was particularly nostalgic, lots of old faces connected to a really good period in my life, not to mention seeing BB for the first time in probably 5 years. It affected me more than I thought it would. I've missed him. Not as a boyfriend, not in any kind of physical way, but in the plain and simple way you miss people who were a good part of your life, and you forget that in the main until you see them again, and have to say goodbye to them again.

And more than missing BB, I missed DM. I always miss him. Every day. But I'm used to that now. It's been a long time since I've had that pure physical ache inside me for him. To have him here, to have him hold me, to hold him back. And it kind of crept up on me throughout the day, and the evening, and through the night until the physical desire to connect with him was so strong that I had to get out of there and just drive. Drive and smoke. Drive and smoke. Until I was too exhausted to do anything but collapse into bed and sleep.

Sunday was better. Mick finally roused himself from his sofa sleep and after collecting X we had a lovely lunch at a local pub/restaurant and hashed over the general wedding events before he headed back home.

But Sunday evening found me lonely, lost, disillusioned, looking for answers that never come, and with the wedding reading rolling round my head.

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13

Brain ache

Have spent a lovely day at the marvellous Thinktank science museum today. But now my head hurts. Too much learning I think!

Mary Poppins

Well, not exactly, but I've certainly been doing the mothering thing the last few days!!

Yesterday I had planned for us to go to Vi's barbecue after our Sunday swimming session, but after an hour of "floating fun" in our local pool (where there were only about 14 other people in the whole pool!), both my kids were sniping and grumpy, and I was in no mood to inflict them on innocent people I didn't know. (Sorry Vi). Instead we came home, and after lunch went around the park area at the back of my house and picked blackberries for an hour. Yes, a whole mixing bowl of them!* I then cooked a roast chicken dinner at X's request and peace seemed to be restored for the evening.

Today, I woke about ten (after not getting to sleep until 4.30am) and decided on a whim to head to the seaside. So, after eventually getting everything organised, followed by a trip to the bank to raid X's bank account due to skintage, and a couple of hours drive, we arrived at Sunny Hunny, which although a bit of a small and crappy seaside resort has a lovely beach and some beautiful town and is perfect for sun, sea and sand. The weather held quite nicely, though it could have been hotter, and much sand castle building commenced, along with some sea paddling for me, sea splashing for Y, and sea swimming for X! The water was surprisingly warm actually. Finished the day with a fish and chip tea on the seafront and an ice cream and finally arrived home about 8.30pm. More baths, and now X is snoring, Y is boxing on his Wii and I am attempting to ignore the state of my house (including yesterday's roast dinner washing up!)

Tomorrow... Warwick Castle awaits!

*Unfortunately, being the non-Nigella that I am, and in a rush to get out of the house this morning, I thought I would quickly stew the blackberries down to then fridge/freeze for crumble making. However, I forgot that stewing requires a cup of water, sugar, and the fruit, and instead put enough water in to sink a tank. The end result - boiled blackberries. Erm, yum!

Summer days

The London presentation went well (I think), and I had a little chat with the relevant Home Office MP who was speaking before me, giving me the opportunity to do the necessary smarming and smiling required in these circumstances. I'm determined to get some Home Office recognition or national awards for the service and the team this year, so I'm trying to go anywhere and everywhere to do so. Unfortunately, I was down for outreach Thursday night, so it seemed a very long day, and I must say I'm very glad to not be back at work until Wednesday now, as I feel I need a few days off at the moment.

Much as the summer holidays may drive me mad, the beauty of them is that I usually only work a two or three day week (using up all my bloody annual leave mind!), which is great, although it means I'm then either trying to do 5 days work in 3 days, or I'm chasing my tail to catch up when September comes! I'm determined not to stress about it though, it's only work after all, and I know I do a good job most of the time.

Fortunately for me this week, at long last summer seems to have finally arrived, and the kids and I managed to spend a few hours yesterday afternoon at a local town park in lovely weather, followed by a trip round the tiny but friendly museum in the grounds.

Today, after X's swimming lessons, we took off again, this time to a local amusement park, joined by my Little Sister who was visiting for the day, where we enjoyed a lovely picnic, a round of crazy golf, a trip on the train, and a half hour boat ride (Y and LS rowed!). We also discovered that X and I weigh exactly the same on the see saw as Y and LS!! The weather has been really beautiful, and my back and shoulders are now a tingling pink, just waiting to dull down into a beautiful tan.

That said, I just went to let the cat out and now it's raining!