Thursday, November 26, 2015

Return of the Mac (or Kane in this case!)

Was just wrapping up at work this evening, about half seven and my phone pinged.  My first thought was it was probably X moaning about when I would be home, so I was most surprised on checking it to see that it was Kane...!  "Hi OG, I hope this message finds you well?  I know the world has turned but I was wondering if you would consider getting together at some point? Kane x"

Random, but nicely so, and glad I hadn't text him on 14th as he probably would have responded and I would have thought it was just politeness!  Anyway,  I left it a while and then responded, and the upshot of the next few messages was that we are going for drinks on Sunday night!!  Am pretty smiley now, although aware of the one strike already so not going to get over excited!  Unfortunately, although he is still right up there on the potential list, the shine has been tarnished with a touch of caution.  Still very worth the punt though, so will see what Sunday brings...!

Saturday, November 14, 2015


So, a week later and I've got over my little self pity party and am back to normal!  Still very disappointed, but back in a place of 'them' s the breaks'!  It's his son's birthday today and I was very tempted to just drop him a quick 'hope the birthday went well' text but decided against it!  If he'd responded to my last text I might have felt differently, but I'm not chasing!

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Another One Bites the Dust

After a week of hearing nothing further from Kane, which I expected given his cancellation, but still completely in the dark about why he'd bailed, I text him this evening to see what's occurring.  Kept it very light, obviously, and basically said 'Seems you've changed your mind, that's a shame, bit puzzled as to why'.  He tried pretty quickly with a lengthy, very complementary text that apologised and said, in essence, it's 'not you I just don't think I'm ready for dating'.  I responded, bright and breezy to say I though he was over thinking but no worries and to give me a shout if he gets brave, but he didn't text back so not going to hold my breath!

Still disappointed, but have to trust it's more him than me, so will pull up my big girl pants and crack on. Fucking annoying though, as he is proper lovely!  Do have a sense he may well cross my path again though... even if I have to hunt him down and stalk him to make it happen, lol.

Thursday, November 05, 2015


I don't know why I would let myself believe that something might actually go right in the romance department.  I'm not made for loving it seems. I feel stupid for still having faith after all these years, and sad that I'm so stupid to still believe.  Right now I genuinely feel like nobody will ever love me.  Why would they?

Wednesday, November 04, 2015


So, after everything seemed to be just lovely and great, this afternoon I had the following text from Kane: "Hi OG, really sorry but I need to cancel Thursday. I've got to sort out my car and change a few things round with the bank... I'll give you a shout next week sometime. x".

I have absolutely no idea what to make of it!!

Half of me thinks it's a legitimate reason (he's currently using a hire car as his was in an accident - and he told me on Monday he'd not long been in after putting down deposit on new car), and that I have no reason to doubt given our previous contact, the other (much louder) half is thinking that's a lame excuse seeing as the banks close at 5 and we weren't meeting until 8, and that it's a cop out that isn't going to get rearranged.

I'm so disappointed though.  I know it's no big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I was looking forward to it, and for once, had done everything properly.  I can't help but feel "fuck it, knew it was too good to be true, why would anybody be interested in me, stupid to believe it". Doesn't matter how much I can logically reason that it might still happen, or that even if it doesn't it's highly likely to be about him, not me, I still feel like I've done something wrong, or am somehow to blame for being so lacking.

Frankly, it feels more than a bit rubbish :-(

Monday, November 02, 2015


Best laid plans and all that...!  Rang the fondue place to find it's cancelled this week due to Firework Night!!  (I have booked next Thursday somewhat optimistically!)

Text Kane this evening to say the fondue night was cancelled so did he fancy local theatre, or just drinks, and he responded that he loves the theatre (another tick) but it's not really conducive to conversation, so did I fancy drinks in his local town or mine.

As we'd texted several times each to get to this point in the conversation, I decided I couldn't be arsed with more texting but would bite the bullet and just call. Plus, I figured it would give a bit of an indicator as to whether we could sustain a conversation easily, and my only reservations from Saturday had been whether he was too serious for me. He picked up, sounded pleased to hear from me, we chit chatted, agreed when and where for Thursday, and before I knew it more than half an hour had gone by, actually much more easily than I'd anticipated!

Was also nice that the conversation included us meeting, and he said he'd spotted me earlier but wasn't sure if I was checking out him or his mate, lol. I reassured him it was clearly him, but nice to know I didn't bully him into it.  He also said several times what a great night it was, and a couple of other compliments about my clothes and him digging the dress/jeans combo I was wearing, which is a good job as I'm partial to that look, as I told him!

Ended agreeing I'd text and check all was well Wed evening, which he said was fine but he might not hear any texts between 8 and 10pm as it was band practice, and so looks like the hot date is on!!  I actually feel a bit more excited now, so just to figure out what to wear (and how to not eat for 3days!!).

Sunday, November 01, 2015

La La La

Just woke up to text from Kane:

"Mornin Lady. I sent you a link for What's App. It's a good free way to chat. Cool if not your thang. I'm thinking a get together on the eve of 14th Nov? Also I'm good on most week night's, maybe you would like to come over for some dinner? x"

Woop woop. Can't think of a better text to receive in the circumstances of meeting someone the night before!  

I responded to say I couldn't do 14th but how about Thurs, and after toing and froing about what to do, we agreed on a local fondue night for this Thursday night.  Just got to hope it's on now!