Rules!!

I dont know what is going on with M but the boy has been giving me ridiculously mixed signals! On Wed night he sent me one of those generic texts, "20 angels in heaven, etc etc, one reading this" to which I replied "cheers but I'm hardly an angel!!". A text conversation ensued which was geared towards me going up to him for a shag, and eventually I decided what the hell I might as well. However, after a quick prossie wash and change I went to text him and tell him I'd be round, only to realise he had texted me 15mins earlier to say I must be having a bath so he was off to bed as he had to be up at 3.30am!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrr!!!!! I ask you!!

Anyway, last night he is at it again, even offering to come down and see me, whatever time I wanted as I couldnt be arsed and was expecting a friend round. After about a dozen texts between 7 and 11 to this effect I was finally beginning to lose my rag, (I don't like being hassled!) so I decided the time had come to set him straight on what it means to be a fuck buddy. Accordingly I texted him my (shortened) set of 10 rules, which I shall share with you now....

Rules for fuck buddies

1) It's sex, not a relationship! - may seem pretty obvious but you'd be amazed the number of people who try casual sex because they really want something more, in my experience this is likely to end in tears and is best to be avoided! Don't try it!

2) Always be respectful and honest - it may not be a relationship, but that doesn't give anybody a license to be disrespectful or deceitful, this will just cause bad feeling and that is never conducive to good sex!

3) It's always ok to request a booty call - that is what it is about! As long as you are discreet about it, and don't announce it over the tannoy at work, then it should be okay to ring/text for a shag whenever you feel like it.

4) It is never okay to assume you have a right to sex. Asking and hoping are completely different from expecting!! (Back to the respect card!!)

5) Never turn up without an invite! - you might not like what you find!!

6) No means no! - it's not a rejection in this situatiion, it's just a no right now. If you're that sensitive I suggest you give the whole thing a miss!

7) Desire and horniness are always attractive, desperation never is! - in line with number 6, don't pile the pressure on... it's really not a good look!

8) If you want out then say so - if you decide you want to call it a day, for whatever reason, then have the courtesy of letting the other person know, there's no need for guilt or game playing.

9) It's a mutual pleasure! - that means you should both get the same out of it.

10) It's not for everyone, and thats ok - but if it works, man it can be fucking great!!!! :-)

So, I sent hm the rules and we shall see how it goes....

Before I go, I just want to say: if you're thinking to yourself 'why bother with all this, why not just shag him and see how it goes?', then what I would say to you is this - I know that me and him will never have a relationship, in fact I don't even know if I'm fully recovered from DM enough to have relationship (although the lovely G at work could tempt me!), and as much as he says he has done "casual" before, I'm not entirely convinced that he can cope with it - in fact his behaviour so far doesn't exactly encourage me! So, I figure that its just easier to lay all the cards on the table and to make sure we are both singing from the same song sheet. I'd like to sleep with him regularly, after all sex is rarely really good sex until you've known each other a while, and what's the point of crap sex in this situation? (or any situation for that matter!!!). This way we both know where we stand and what we are up for, and it prevents confusion and possible heartache in the future.

So, we shall see what the weekend brings.... Hope you all have a good one.