Sssssh...

2pm
Well another quiet one for me this weekend. Stayed in last night and did that wonderful thing of falling asleep on the sofa at about 11pm, only to wake again, freezing cold and stiff at 2.30am to drag my weary bones up the stairs into bed, where I then promptly lay awake unable to sleep for the next hour!

Woke with a headache this morning, and was a bad enough parent to tell X that ballet lessons (9am start!) weren’t on this morning due to half term holidays (ahem, may my lying sins be forgiven!). However, was a good enough parent to drag weary arse out of bed and take her to swimming lessons (10.30am start), even though we were five minutes late!!

Swimming lesson trial and tribulation was followed by trip to Tesco’s, where far too many calorific comfort type foods were bought, thereby serving dual purposes of sustaining me throughout boring-at-home-weekend, and then giving me reason to berate myself with self loathing at size of heifer-like body during same weekend and into following week!

Do not even have Blogland to distract me from gloom of my life! Think will go eat myself into a coma…!

8pm
Antsy mood continues.

Have not long got back from Indian meal with X, (who I am pleased to report behaved impeccably!), and am now feeling full of food and discontent!

Friend Meg Ryan was going to come round this evening for girly chat, etc, but has let me down in favour of date with bloke from dating site she has been speaking to this week. Other friend, B, is also madly in love with new man who purports to be “the one”. Am pleased for them both, but also find self full of bitter resentment for everybody else getting on with their lives, whilst self is trapped in stupid, pathetic, time warp. Find entire relationship thinking now based on premise of “What’s the point anyway? It will all go to shit at some point”, and plenty of tongue biting currently occurring to prevent said thinking being voiced to happy, moving forward friends.

Am selfish, rubbish friend, who nobody will ever love again.

11pm
Think will take up new hobby or evening class. Possibly braille, as blind boyfriend may be only future option!