Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Effort

I've recently been considering Sleepless's tact of "playing the numbers game", and today I was debating getting myself back on the dating sites to have a see what's out there, to meet up with some new people, to have some dates, and maybe get the odd shag out of it. But then I realised, while I was planning all of this, one thing I wasn't planning for was actually meeting someone and having a relationship develop from that.

And then I got to wondering why that is...?!

Am I too busy to put the effort into another person? Am I now conditioned to believe that a long lasting relationship is not a possibility for me? Am I too scared to take the risk again? Or am I simply not that bothered about having someone in my life?

I think I need to dwell on it...

13 comments:

Freddy said...

If a mere male may make a suggestion OG I think you need NOT to dwell on it.
Put yourself out there, have a few dates; get laid occasionally (safely of course); take the risk that while you're looking for fun you might just find something more.
Because that's the crux of it. If you set out looking for love then what you'll find is heartbreak.
If you set out looking for love then you'll be more likely to confuse lust and liking for the real thing. Like a gold prospector being takne in by iron pyrites.
If you set out looking for love then you will be the likely prey of all the players in the world.
Go have some fun.

Anonymous said...

Yep I agree with freddy, get out there - we (over here)hope that a certain lovely man will come round to the idea of companionship before he's 50 hopefully (unless thats when he wins the lottery)..

Anonymous said...

I don't think actually pursuing a relationship works. I know it's an old cliche but in my experience love tends to happen when and where (and quite often with whom)you least expect it. For me the numbers game just didn't work (well in some ways it did).

It's kind of difficult to contemplate another person in your life after a few years of being single. You become so independent, you like your own space, you can set your own tempo of life and daily intinery. So why do we even contemplate letting others in our lives?

Fuck this isn't a comment it's a posting! I'll have to finish it later on my blog.

Anonymous said...

Hey OG - I know exactly what you mean and agree with the other comments.


Just go out and have fun and see what happens....;)

Vi said...

You just got to go out there and have some fun! The internet dating may not be where you'll find THE ONE but it may lead to someone in a round about way who is. I never had any luck internet dating but it got me out there. (And a shag and a bit of fun!)

*note to self - take name off dating website to stop getting *teases* from undesirables!

Unknown said...

Don't think about it.

I find that when I stop looking for my lost sock, that it magically appears on my bedroom floor ;)

Just... Why? said...

Yep - ditto all of the above.

If you think about it it won't happen. But put it out of your mind / decide you don't give a damn either way, and you'll be tripping over potential long-term partners.

I would promise that, but it's the same thing I told myself about the lottery, and I STILL haven't won more than a tenner :-(

BTW - is it me or are the word ID things getting longer?

Eileen Dover said...

Nah. None of the above.

You're older and wiser and know more about relationships.

It's easier to be cathartic and not bother because you've been there, done that.

I'm the exact same way. I am a complete romantic, and know that - as a realist - my idea of a relationship doesn't exist. I'd love to be proven wrong, but until I am, I'm pretty sure conventional relationships are not for me.

And so... I like being single. :)

(Plus, there is something about the path of least resistance. That's my path, baby!)

Anonymous said...

I'm with Vi. Get out there and enjoy life. Don't sit and wait. Time and tide waits for no (wo)man.

Etc.

Anonymous said...

freddy is right, or should i say right said fred, go looking for love and you end up with guys like me, don't look for it, and it happens, girls look for love in romance and guys, never normally get that far, we are mostly looking for fangeta, not all of the guys are like that but a huge percentage are. Just be careful, xx
Wayne x

Anonymous said...

You should enjoy being single for a while. It sucks for the libido, but good for the soul!

-Tobiwan

Ordinary Girl said...

Cheers all. I think the point I was trying to make was that I'm not actually that bothered at the moment! I have played the dating game for too long and have not really bothered about finding my one true love, and that has been what I have been considering doing again. It just interests me that I can imagine myself dating but I can't imagine myself in a relationship?! I think Tobi is right, I need to enjoy being single for a while! Although, if the mighty Robbie comes knocking at my door.... :-)

PS. And ATM, I am not going to get with AJ no matter what you and hubby think!! (Well, at least not til I'm too old to pull! - Erm, actually, when I phrase it like that...!)

Mummy said...

OMFG!!! If robbie comes knocking you have to ring me and let me listen in !!! !!! HAVE TO!!!