Best laid plans

Well so much for my girly night out last night! Lily couldn't make Saturday in the end, so she came round for a gossip and catch up on Friday night - and we put the world to rights! Saturday, first up to cancel was Bea - now attending some hippy tribal earth drumming thing (don't ask!!), secondly Meg text to say she'd had too hard a night Friday so was recovering, and finally Gerii got stuck at the football and was going to be too late. So, babysitter duly cancelled and a night in front of the telly and catching up on blogging beckoned instead. Or rather tried to!

I'd just got settled down in front of the pc, ready to catch up on all my comments and all my regular blogs when we had a powercut. Whole street, in complete darkness. Two minutes later, after a cautious trip upstairs by the light of my mobile, and a couple of decorative candles have been retrieved from the bedroom and landing. Of course, the power then immediately came back on. Television reset, computer rebooted and back to business. Five minutes later, blackout again! This pattern repeated itself about 5 times over the course of an hour - with the power cut lasting no longer than about a minute each time, but enough to make me give up the idea of the pc!

Today has been the usual late start, followed by floating fun and a roast chicken dinner, and now back to school tomorrow. Hoorah!

Men!

M texted me in the early hours of the morning a couple of Sundays ago. Maybe last Sunday - to be honest I don't remember! A simply "Hello", no doubt a precursor to a potential booty call. I ignored it at the time and replied simply the next morning with "Hello" also. He didn't respond, I was neither surprised or bothered. That's a boat thats long since sailed!

Last night, around 12.30am I get a further text from him - "Hello havent spoke 2 u in ages how r u". I ignored it again, and turned my phone off as I was already in bed. This morning, to be polite, and as it seemed more than just a potential booty call, I replied " Hello yourself. I did reply to your text the other weekend but didn't hear back. I'm fine thanks. Working too hard and not been out for ages so very dull! How are you doing?". Yet again, nothing! Too fucking rude.

New additions

Finally got round to replacing Spongebob and Jim today. Meet Bubble and Dave!

Stars for the week ahead

The world is full of people who are paid for using only a small portion of their brain. Workers, for example, who are required to assemble components, not to design or market those objects; who are expected to focus on one key administrative area regardless of their potential to be helpful in another department. 'Do your job, and don't do more than your job or less than it.' That's an unimaginative ethos, fostered in a thousand faceless firms. You are capable of much more than you are currently supplying; at work, at home, in pretty much every area of life. If you have something to give, give it in the right spirit and it will be received in the same way

Null

14hr work day. Enough said.

I do have a social life, honest!

It struck me this evening that social happenings seem to be a little short of late. So, to reassure you that I am not a completely boring old fart I thought I'd just clarify that I do, indeed, have a social life! In fact, the reason I've been content to stay in the last couple of weekends is because last weekend was my last free weekend until next year!

So, the social diary for the remainder of 2007...

Sat 27th Oct - Curry, wine and catch up, home town - Lily, Gerii, Bea, Meg. (This was intended to be a Lily and I catch up event, but as Gerii text me to congratulate Y on being a boff, which she could only have got from Lily, I felt obliged to respond about this Saturday in case Lily had mentioned it. This, of course, then results in having to ask my other girlie mates too! And Lily hasn't even confirmed yet, bless her!)

Sat 3rd Nov - Fancy dress party, home town - for vague acquaintance BC and Smiler's brother-in-law's 30th birthdays. (And no, I have no idea what I will go as!)

Sat 10th Nov - Drinks for Disco's birthday, local town - an assorted gathering of weird and wonderful no doubt.

Fri 16th Nov - Drinks and catch up in home town - Ava (she's a bit of a loner!!)

Sun 18th Nov - Angel's (work colleague) Birthday party, her posh home, not so local town - other work colleagues and random people I don't know.

Sat 24th Nov - Engagement Party for She and He, local town - the Disco weird and wonderful clan I'm sure, and who knows who else!! (I'm very excited about this as I've spent the last year saying "so, He, when you going to pop the question...?")

Fri 30th Nov - Pre-birthday (pour moi) evening eating, local town - X and Y, work colleagues

Sat 1st Dec - Birthday celebration (pour moi again!) of some description, local town - anybody I can muster!

Sat 8th Dec - Work Christmas do, local town - venue to yet be organised by my good self!! (local casino current favourite but any suggestions welcome!)

Fri 14th Dec - Sun 16th Dec - Catch up (and maybe a little shopping) trip, Manchester - Mick, X and Y

Sat 22nd Dec - Xmas meal and disco, home town - assorted parents from school. (I have no idea why on earth I said I would go on this - especially not at £35 a pop!!)

Christmas Day - sister's, Oxford - me, X and Y, sister, smallest younger brother, mum, mum's partner, maybe biggest younger brother and girlfriend

Boxing Day - dad's, local village - who knows?!

27th to 30th Dec - Butlins, Skegness - me, X and Y. (Yay!! If I get round to booking it of course!!)

New Years Eve - yet to be decided!!

I may need some recovery time in January...!

Worried About Ray

One less thing to worry about this week!

Down and up

Went to bed early last night with a splitting headache and 2 paracetamol. Unfortunately the paracetamol didn't work, and I woke feeling like the top of my head was in a vice at 5.30am. Just about managed to stagger downstairs and take some more paracetamol, and back to bed until 8am. Fortunately, headache had eased when I got up, but by the time I got to work at 9.30am, it was coming on again. The rest of the day was spent dosing up on the pain relief, and fortunately it seems to have cleared for good now.

My bad head was exacerbarated also by a really awful night of confused dreaming - it is all very complicated when I try and recall it now, but the upshot of it was that at 5.30am, when I woke, I had been dreaming that DM had just died, whilst with me.

I've done quite well with the DM thing the last couple of months - no contact from either of us since 9th September, lots of successful "not thinking about it, not thinking about it", and generally accepting it's done and trying to forget all about it. Last night really bothered me though. This evening I decided to hell with it and text him -
"I dreamt last night that you died. Stupidly I know need to know you're ok"
He replied, pretty quickly -
"You know, it's funny. Pierre has been visiting this week, as your text arrived, we were just talking about a dream he had last night and it's meaning. I'm fine."
Closely followed by -
"Pierre just said that, in France, if someone dreams about someone else dying, it extends their life by 7 years!"

I got what I needed from it; I feel relieved that he is okay and stupid that I doubted it - though he didn't comment on that at all. It upset me though. Just that contact made me teary, which is why I stopped having the contact in the first place. It just reminds me that I miss him.

On a brighter note, got home from work to a letter from school informing me that Y has been identified as a Gifted and Talented pupil! I am so proud I can't tell you!! This means he is in the top 10% of his year group, and also that he will get more challenging work and possibly more extra-curricular activities. He wasn't too pleased to hear that!

De-forestation

What is it about trimming your undercarriage (literally the UNDER carriage) that means I have wetter knickers than usual all bloody day. Like I don't suffer enough with the "juicy lucy's"!!

Murphette's Law

Well, as expected, the fact that I was prepared for shagging mean't, of course, that no offer was forthcoming! Typical!!

In fact, I haven't even had a response from SG, which I'm a tad miffed about I have to admit. I suspect he will text/call when he is next in a safe environment (ie. at work and away from the wife!), as he told me once before that he sometimes deletes texts without even reading them when he's with her, as she has a tendency to read his phone. Like I'm not discreet enough to ensure that anything I text always sounds merely light and friendly!!

In other news, it was my dad's birthday yesterday, so today we had family lunch with him, his partner, her grandson, my brother D, his new girlfriend A, me and X (Y at his dads). While I'm glad that he has found someone after my mum buggered off, his partner Minnie does my bloody head in!!!! She is such a bloody moaning cow! (Says me, lol). One of the choicer snippets of conversation today...

Minnie - need to know what you all want for Christmas.
Me - haven't really thought about it to be honest. Oh, actually I do know what I want...
Minnie (interrupting) - well just remember that I'm not working now!

FFS!!! That really pisses me off. Last year for Christmas I asked for some new saucepans, the year before I asked for a new washing basket. Yeah, I know, I'm the queen of asking for really expensive presents aren't I?!

So, I told her that I wanted a new cordless phone, to be met with the kind of look that said "How much?!", which I quickly quantified with - "you can get them for about £15 you know". Her reply... "Yes, well, they're bound to be no good though!". I tell you, I was that close to saying "Do you know what, don't fucking bother then!!".

Passing it up

After an early night, I feel a bit better this morning.

I love my job, and my team - and I'm lucky that both the team and the senior management level are always really positive about the service and my work. I just seem to be unable to catch up at the moment, and after a day of flying round like a mad thing yesterday I had an incident with two staff members that upset me. It was something and nothing, to be honest, I was less than tactful - they were both offended. We did discuss it later by phone, and allis sorted now, but it just really got to me, on top of all the other work, and I would hate for any of my team to feel underappreciated - that's what upset me the most I think. Anyway, I have it more in perspective now, so will continue the battle and then look forward to over 2 weeks off at Christmas!

Sexy Gardener rang last night, and despite the wine (perhaps because of?!) I ignored his call. He may have just been ringing to pass the time of day, but at 9pm on a Friday night - I doubt it was chatting on his mind!

Not sure how I feel about it really. I had written it off as an itch that had been scratched, and whilst not denying the possibility of a revisit, I had thought it was unlikely, or would be a while (now I think about it, it's been 3 months today!). There's also a suspicion that the first time was fabulous, and a repeat performance may not live up to that, so I should quit while I was ahead.

So, as a result of all the above, I just couldn't be bothered to get into the conversation, let alone the action, last night - especially considering that the house was a mess, the bed needed changing, I've put on half a stone since then and feel like shit, oh, and I have the equivalent of a small forest growing in my knickers!

I've text just now, saying I missed his call and hope all is well, so will wait and see. I might just be persuaded tonight...

Stars for the week ahead

There are easier things you could be doing. You have set yourself some very exacting goals. Are you, perhaps, being just a little overly ambitious? OK, OK. I apologise for even suggesting that. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Of course, you have to do what feels right. Of course, too, you have to do things the hard way if the 'easy way' involves a compromise you can't feel proud of. For this, you don't need to be criticised, you need to be congratulated. You also need to be encouraged to continue. For you have further to go along a difficult road. Your task remains tricky, but by no means impossible!

Sigh

I feel like crap.

I feel like I'm drowning at work at the moment. Supporting the whole team, responsible for the success or failure of the whole service, proving to the powers that be that we are performing - and all with no support from my line manager, who I haven't seen for about 3 months due to her workload.

I usually cope with the pressures of work pretty well, but today has just been too much and I'm having a massive crisis of confidence. I just can't deal with it right now.

One glass of wine later and I feel a little better. Remarkably pissed actually, but also better. Think I might finish the bottle and then hope to just pass out!

Concentrate

Governor's meeting tonight. Deputy Head was presenting a report on exam results.

I have to confess, I didn't really hear a word of it - I was far too busy imagining more interesting things to be doing with him!

She's So Lovely

Not the only thing that's lovely...

What a week

Phew! That's about all I can say about this week! Yet again it's flown by.

Work has kept me busy as usual, with a hectic day on Thursday that included a call to the ambulance service for a client, not to mention having to nab a police officer, and then some lurking behind our front door waiting for an opportune moment to escape home! In the midst of this I have to field a call from school about Y, who is currently struggling with raging teenage hormones and "first love" experiences, followed by the trip to Manchester which started with leaving home at 7pm (an hour late - as per usual!) and finished after a last minute wrong turn, with finally arriving at hotel at 10pm.

As a result of this I didn't get to catch up with Mick as planned, but instead settled for pizza at the hotel before a couple of hours gossip with Bride from work (who came with me) and then in bed by midnight. The conference was good, (although would have been better if I'd been speaking!), but by the time we fought through the rush hour traffic and had travelled 3 junctions the wrong way up the M6 before being able to turn around, it was 9.30pm before I collected X from her dad's and arrived home!

Fortunately the rest of the weekend has been quieter, and I decided not to go out last night for Straight Mate's birthday, due mainly to lack of funds and guilt about babysitters 3 nights in a row (especially considering I have evening engagements next Tue, Wed and Thurs!). Instead, yesterday was the usual swimming lessons (X has moved up a group and now starts half an hour earlier!), followed by collecting Y from Meg's and an hour or so of catch-up, into town for obligatory pocket money spending, and an afternoon and evening in front of the telly!

Today, as a reward for filling their treat cards, we went to see Mr Bean's Holiday, which was amusing and pretty much what you'd expect from a Bean movie, followed by "floating fun" at the pool - where I'm sure I was getting the eye from some bloke - KFC and then The Princess Bride followed by The Addams Family on tv before bed!

I'm sure there is probably much more exciting things to say, but this week it will have to be elsewhere I'm afraid!

Stars for the week ahead

By now, you know how it works. You turn to this page hoping for insight. Instead, you get to read an odd mixture of metaphor and analogy... from which you have to 'infer' a meaning. This week, at the risk of breaking with tradition, I want to get a little more specific. You're about to go 'up' in the world. Respect and recognition are on their way to you. You've got power over a key situation, whether you know it or not. Something that once seemed inexplicably impossible now looks obviously feasible. Tough times may come again but right now, the happy tide is coming in. Sorry to be so precise. I'll try to be vaguer next week!

Foundation

Song of the moment! Line of the year... "I said I'd rather be with your friends mate, cos they are much fittah!"

Keeps on rolling

So the rest of the week, and the weekend too it would appear, have rolled on by and here we are again, poised on the brink of a fresh new week!

During my brief period of R and R (I didn't go back to work last week), I have done precisely... bugger all! Well, unless you include copious amounts of watching crap tv, eating crap food, and kipping on the sofa in the daytime of course!

Had a good long catch up call with Meg on Thursday night, and not only caught up on the gossip but also managed to clear the air in terms of feeling a little neglected by her lately. I understand the reasons why - she has her own stuff to deal with at the moment - but either way, friendship needs to be a two way street and her side of the road has been a little devoid of passing traffic just lately. We managed to discuss it and sort it out though, which is great, and hopefully we're on for a girly night this weekend for Straight Mate's birthday (money allowing!).

Last night saw myself and the hen night crew (sans wigs thank goodness!) celebrating the wedding of said Bride-to-be, which was held in a beautiful old country house-cum-hotel nearby. The food was good, the drink expensive, the jazz band great, and I had the opportunity of dragging my fabulous Vegas bought dress out of the wardrobe for it's second showing this year. After a £10 dry cleaning bill no less!! It was a good night, although no decent single men in attendance unfortunately, and another weekend of spinsterdom over.

Still haven't heard anything from Space, and not expecting too now, though M did make a surprise appearance by texting me "Hello" in the early hours of this morning! I chose to ignore it though - been there, done that, not about to go there again!

Back to work tomorrow - to madness no doubt after having 3 days off, and a conference (read overnight stay in hotel!) to look forward to in Manchester on Friday. Not sure how I'll cope with all the excitement!!

Stars for the week ahead

They say the definition of insanity is to 'keep doing the same thing' whilst expecting a different result. If you want your life to become more sane and less stressful, you've got to change some of what you keep on doing. You're not single-handedly creating the situation that you find yourself in, but you're certainly shaping it to some extent. You can't control anyone else's behaviour, but you can at least modify your own. That's all you need to do. Alter an attitude. Break a habit pattern. Try a new approach. Experiment with a different plan. Then suddenly, all that seems so exasperatingly impossible will begin to become pleasingly feasible.

R & R

Well the day started pretty well - with me fucking long-term boyfriend Mika whilst holding a shiny, shiny, sharp, sharp knife to his throat!! Only to be woken a few seconds later by X telling me she felt sick. Oh real life is so much duller!

It was a bit of a random dream actually;
a) I don't fancy Mika a jot (he was a bit of a DM/Mika/SG mix actually)
b) I have never considered using a knife in sexual activity
c) It was fucking hot!!

The crux of it all was really about trust. About me saying, to someone who loves and trusts me, "Prove how much you trust me - let me do this" and them letting me, and also finding the fear arousing.

Weird, but pleasant weird.

X had "recovered" by 10am - I think it was the realisation that no school means no Brownies - so I took her in, called in sick myself, cancelled necessary appointments and am having 2 days of rest and relaxation at home. I feel like I need it at the moment.

Besides, who knows what daydreaming might bring...

Crazy

Always fitting!