Last night, at Bea's request - in order to celebrate her achieving 40yr status - 8 of us went to a jazz night at our local theatre.
Now, I'm not a great lover of jazz, I like a bit of Diana Krall every now and then but that's about it. However, the rules of friends birthdays are that they get to choose and you go along and make the best of it, so I resigned myself to it with little more than a "oh no, not jazz" kind of thought. Plus, you never know, cute men may be there to distract from the noise...
The place (which is only the small studio) was absolutely packed. And packed with men. Unfortunately, everybody, and I mean everybody (other than the 8 of us and literally 1 other couple), was over the age of 50 . At least! More than half were probably nearer their 70th birthday to be honest! Trust me. I would have taken a photo to prove it, but frankly the glare from the backflash of all those bald heads would have blinded me!
So commenced several hours of what can only be described as the dullest evening of my life! Yes there were a couple of nice tunes, and yes I quite enjoyed those, but frankly, that was about 15 minutes worth! And the crowd, apart from the odd subdued round of applause, were deathly silent the whole way through. Well, I suppose you don't sing out loud at jazz concerts and there was no dancing going on, so little else to do in the way of contribution other than some encouraging swaying of the head and foot/leg/hand jigging. We even got shushed by an elderly lady for whispering at one point!
Fortunately for me, Lena was next to me and amused me with several tales of debauchery and naughtiness, as we haven't caught up for ages, not to mention a few succulent pieces of gossip such as the fact that she snogged Sexy Gardener on his wedding night! This of course, led to me being able to reveal the shagging in the summer, so much secret high fiving occurred at our end of the row! It wasn't just me that found it all dull to be honest, Bea's new fella, Bo, actually fell asleep. Several times. And he's a massive music head! The rest of the crowd all seemed to enjoy it though, so maybe in another 40years I'll be converted!
So, the jazz ordeal came to an end, and I posed the question as to what we were doing next, expecting a few drinks in town, maybe a curry, only to be told by Bea that her and Bo were going home! At half ten on a Saturday night, for her 40th birthday celebration which we had all sat patiently and loyally through, not to mention forking out £9 each for the pleasure! In fact, they weren't going home the conversation then revealed, they were going back to SG's. Just the three of them, Bea, Bo and SG. Fucking cheek!
I was really pissed off about it! Still am to be honest. She's supposed to be coming round here tonight (Bo is obviously busy!) but I'm planning on cancelling it because I just cannot be doing with her. She's hard work at the best of times, but last night took the piss. It cost me £24, not including a few quid for drinks, to sit and be bored shitless for 2 and half hours, in the name of the importance of her birthday, for her to just fuck off at the end of it "because Bo has to work in the morning". Tough fucking shit! She saw him Monday night, and Thursday night (her birthday), and could have seen him Friday night and done something decent with the girls on Saturday night if she'd have got her shit together and bothered to ask him about his plans - or put her friends even slightly first. So, fuck her. I'll be enjoying the peace and quiet of my own house with Y tonight!
The evening wasn't a complete washout. Lena and I decided to go and curry anyway, and managed to catch up in lurid technicolor detail about the brief whispered snippets we'd previously shared. So, thanks to her, the last 2 hours of wine, food and gossip more than made up for the first!
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9 comments:
Funny how as we get older, we get less tolerant and all I can say is that its a shame it took us so long... I count the days till I'm in that old peoples home, downing sherry (one day I might like it), playing cards and going out on outings where I can push in the queue. Think I'll still miss the Jazz out though:-)
So it was YOU who was whispering. I should have known.
at least you get to go out
If the jazz is boring, something's terribly wrong because jazz is not boring.
And to crap out on her own b-day...good lord.
Jazz is supposed to be heard in seedy and slightly disreputable clubs and bars, not theatres. The moment balding old pseuds start 'intellectualising' it then it gets killed stone dead. Sorry you had a boring evening but don't give up on it. Try again at a proper jazz venue!
Jazz is cool but obviously not the way you heard it.
Some friends are just such a drain and sometimes we have to know that we need to quit trying with them... She said, knowing she's sentenced to an evening next week with a all crowd of stepford wives talking about cook in sauces!!
pxx
Oh dear... One of those evenings.
We were asked to go to a play recently with another couple. They chose it. Boring as hell. I swear to god, we brought down the average age by about 15 years. I kept nodding off.
Then we went to dinner. After we were finished, they stared at the bottom of their drinks until we picked up the tab. As soon as the waiter came to get our credit card, they told us they had to get going because they had a party to go do.
Bloody hell.
I love seedy jazz clubs, but the ones I go to aren't full of sugar daddies.
I am with you; Jazz is boring. All the songs merge into one after about 10 minutes. Dont get me wrong, I can enjoy the odd number as long as it is interspersed with other music.
Are we uncool not getting high on jazz????
Glad you had a fab end of evening.
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