Monday, February 04, 2008

Quicksand

I "worked from home" today. Just couldn't face going in, which I know is anti-productive because it will all still be there, and more, tomorrow - but I'm just so knackered.

Life all feels like a struggle at the moment. Probably just the weather, and I'm sure it will pass, but it all feels like hard work and little joy. That's it - I don't really take joy in anything very much these days. I can't remember the last time I had a really, really good laugh.

Perhaps its just getting older, perhaps its work, perhaps its just how life is sometimes - I don't know. I just can't be bothered.

And I miss him, even though he's never mentioned much these days. Even though its better than its ever been. Even though I went through the whole festive period pretty unscathed and without getting in touch with him. I miss him.

12 comments:

Alfie said...

It's all of the above. Which means life can only get better - except for the growing older bit. Let's know when you've cheered up. Meantime go onto YouTube and listen to Michael Palin singing "Always look on the bright side of life" again.

Fat Controller said...

Pretty much everyone feels a bit flat around this time of year anyway. Don't know how it is where you are but round here we've now got a whole extra hour of daylight than there was at christmas. It's getting better all the time.

BenefitScroungingScum said...

Sigh, the lack of light. It'll get better soon, it's starting already. Good to see you posting again. Sorry you're still missing him. Hugs. BG x

rastaman said...

It's all too easy to fall into a cycle of down-ness. One that I know all too well. The only thing to do is to think that being fed up is the bottom and there is only one way to go... up. There are better times ahead.

Luka said...

There is an awful lot of January/February misery around. I know there's always a slump after Christmas, but it seems to me that it is just that little bit worse this year, with almost everyone I know feeling down and having problems.

Missing someone adds to it, I know.

Chin up!

JRTC said...

Hi, nice roof (and house)..:-)

I love those going out for a meal and chatting sort of nights - at the moment I'm organising stuff to do then dragging Mr JRTC behind me. Bit bored of it now, as its takes a lot for me to get bothered in first place. Can't live with them - can't live without them!

Kahless said...

I always find feb the worst month of the year, not that saying that probably helps much!

Kahless said...

I always find feb the worst month of the year, not that saying that probably helps much!

Fire Byrd said...

feeling miserable and knackered a horrid combination. Hope by now you've moved on a bit.
You could come to my party on 1st March if that would help.
pxx

Lady in red said...

hugs to you CG

jenn said...

The winter blahs are exhausting. Hope it will ease on you soon.

And it's okay to miss him. It would be hard not too. But at least it isn't destroying you now.

Your house is looking fabulous!

Complex Girl said...

Cheers Alfie. Good tune to remind me of. I'll never forget hearing Sisters of Mercy playing at Reading (many moons ago!), and them closing their set with that song. Ironic, and fantastic!

That's very true FC! At least the sun is starting to shine in the daytime - predicted 13degrees tomorrow, twice the usual temperature for this time of year.

Thanks BG. Hopefully my posts will get slightly more interesting over the coming months!

I'm usually a pretty optimistic sort of girl Innocent (where you been by the way?), but sometimes it's all just a little too hard. I'm getting there though!

Hi Luka, thanks for dropping by (I'm a consistent lurker over your way!). The chin is firmly raised!

Cheers! When you coming home to visit it? :-) Ah, leave him at home doing the cleaning. Fair deal I would say!

Lol Kah, it does actually! And I really shouldn't moan too much when I compare myself to some of the things you've been (are going) through. Hang in there x

Hey pixiepie! Glad you're back with us again. I might just do that - sitters/money pending of course!!

Thanks Lady, they're appreciated.

Hey jaded. Cheers hun. Every day that goes by and all that...! Hope you like it, hopefully you'll be getting to stay in it soon :-) Fingers crossed!