DB - part 2

In November 2003 I got an email, through friendsreunited.co.uk from him. I remember I was surprised, and flattered. I hadn't heard from him, or thought of him for years, but it’s always nice to know that people remember you, and even nicer to know that they have remembered you enough to look you up specifically. It is, of course, especially nice when they are an ex-boyfriend too!!

We began messaging, and emailing, and were soon spending hours on messenger and sending copious amounts of emails a day. We spent a lot of time talking about what had happened with our relationship, and he expanded on the things he had been saying the last time we met.

I had always thought that he just didn’t fancy me enough, but in fact it turned out that he had always thought the same about me, and on top of that he had fancied me so much that it had made him completely shy and nervous. It was strange, to get a completely different perspective on things, and to see how stupid it was that we had both been worrying about the other person not liking them, whilst also being too in awe of each other to actually be able to go for it.

And it was lovely. I began to really look forward to ‘speaking’ to him and reading what was coming next. It was also lovely that we had slipped back into our old banter, and although he was still married (not terrifically happily I must add), and I was with MC (going through a really rough patch), we did begin to slip into quite flirtatious exchanges, with the occasional cyber session thrown in!

By February 2004, things were getting heated quite often, and I had begun to really want to meet up with him again. I knew he was married and I knew it was unlikely that would change, but I just wanted to see him and see if the chemistry was still there all these years later. Not to mention being able to catch up in person and see how the other had changed. However, he wasn’t ready for that and was very cagey about his personal details. I didn’t even have a phone number for him, although I had given him mine a few times.

Eventually, and somewhat predictably, he just disappeared again. He literally, without warning, just stopped replying to my emails. And I was pissed off! Not because I thought we were about to embark on a great love affair, or because I was madly in love with him (I was never truly in love with him), but because we had rebuilt a relationship of sorts, even if only a friendship, and we had talked about how difficult it had been for me in the past when he had just disappeared into thin air, and I expected more from him as a grown man!

Anyway, over the last couple of years I have emailed him occasionally, really just to see if he is okay, as I have wondered if anything had happened to him. He has never replied, and although I would like to know how he’s doing, and to see him again at some point, I haven’t dwelled on it too much, but have put him back in the box of ‘what might have beens’.

Today, completely out of the blue, I get an email from him, sent at lunchtime on Sunday…

“Hi, I hate this email thing”

What the fuck??!