Friday, October 13, 2006

Time

Time is such a funny concept isn't it. An elastic, ever changing, flexible constant. And the amount of time spent with somebody really doesn't impact on the effect they can have on your life. I have had relationships that lasted a relatively long time that have had little or no impact on me, and encounters that have been relatively short lived that will be with me forever.

I appreciate that I can't imagine what it is like to spend ten years with somebody, or twenty or thirty, but I really don't think it's always relevant to the impact on your life. Sure you have more experiences, sure you have a bigger 'habit' factor, but if you love someone then the amount of time you spend with them becomes irrelevant. I was officially with DM for five months (and in pretty frequent contact for 6 more after that). That's all. No time at all in the scheme of things. A small proportion of my life up to now, a smaller proportion if I am lucky enough to live to a ripe old age. Yet I can honestly say he has had a bigger impact on me than anybody else in my past, and possibly than all of them put together.

And although he has already had double that amount of time with his new girlfriend, I truly believe that when he looks back on his life in the future, I will have made more of an impact. Will be more of a solid memory. And perhaps that is all that time is for, to give us a framework in which to remember our feelings.

So, enjoy your time with people, however long or little, because it's memories that count, not minutes.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's so true OG! The longest I have been with someone is 7 years, but I have felt closer to people I have been with for under a year!

I would suggest that what you could take from the DM experience, is that it can be that good and it will in all likelihood happen again. You will also know that you should never settle for anything less (although possibly not the same or similar).

All relationships are different and each person has different qualities, as a result we gel differently and that's what (for me) makes life and relationships of any sort so interesting!

Ordinary Girl said...

I know sleepless. I guess in my heart of hearts I know. It's just hard to wait 17 years to find someone you can truly believe you want to spend your life with and then have that disappear in a puff of smoke for no real reason.
But I guess I'm getting there (slowly, granted!).
And I agree that the differences are what make life interesting. It's what kept me on the rollercoaster for 17 years in the first place!

Mummy said...

This is very true, great post O.