I'm a massive believer of horoscopes! Well, when they say nice things that I want to hear of course! Take today for example...
When someone you've known for a while - but never seen as partnership material before - now seems so attractive, its the real love deal.
I like it :-)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wasted wishes
One of the things I wish I could change, if such things were possible, would be my family. Now, whilst I love them all in their own way we are not a close family. Far, far from it unfortunately. Aside from me and my sister, I have little in the way of contact with either of my brothers, not much with my mum anymore since she moved away, and over the last few years less and less with my (step)dad. And absolutely no contact, other than Christmas cards, from Aunties and Uncles and cousins. Thats the way our family is. Distant.
I am envious when I see photo's on facebook of people going on holiday with family. One of Y's friends has the epitomy of the perfect family life to me. In her family she has a younger sister and her mum and dad (my age) are still together and have been together for absolutely years, an aunty and uncle also married for a long time and with 2 daughters about her sister's age, and her gran and grandad, also still married after many years. They always have so many photos on facebook of them doing things all together. All the big occasions - Christmas, New Years Eve, kids birthdays, holidays is always all of them, all together.
I wish I had had her upbringing. I wish more that I'd been able to give my kids the same. More than anything else its the thing I cannot change and the thing I wish I could.
I am envious when I see photo's on facebook of people going on holiday with family. One of Y's friends has the epitomy of the perfect family life to me. In her family she has a younger sister and her mum and dad (my age) are still together and have been together for absolutely years, an aunty and uncle also married for a long time and with 2 daughters about her sister's age, and her gran and grandad, also still married after many years. They always have so many photos on facebook of them doing things all together. All the big occasions - Christmas, New Years Eve, kids birthdays, holidays is always all of them, all together.
I wish I had had her upbringing. I wish more that I'd been able to give my kids the same. More than anything else its the thing I cannot change and the thing I wish I could.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Drunken facebooking
Notification: OG won the game of Scrabble
Comments:
JB - i bet id win at sexsrabble
OG - lol, with that spelling boyo I bet you wouldn't :-) you been on the guiness?
JB - no ive mingled with the massive, lsd, coke, bit of speed, oh an a nice earl grey
OG - lol, yeah yeah
JB - yeah! what kind of retorte is that?????????????
OG - a sarcastic 1!! get yourself on scrabble then and we'll play dirty words only :-)
JB - id rather get naked n do rude things, and yes ive had a cider, i dont normally do bright intelligent pretty girls
OG - LMAO!!!! Well thank you! I think? (I'm assuming I'm the pretty intelligent one, unless you have company!). Anytime Mr B, anytime ;-)
JB - no i wasnt talking bout you, ha im not that drunk!!!!! ha
OG - cheeky sod! bugger off to your pretty girl then :-p
JB - bugger off meaning call you, and pretty girl meaning my ipod and avenged sevenfold
OG - I repeat... lol, yeah yeah. You know you love me longtime !
Now what to make of that?!!?
Comments:
JB - i bet id win at sexsrabble
OG - lol, with that spelling boyo I bet you wouldn't :-) you been on the guiness?
JB - no ive mingled with the massive, lsd, coke, bit of speed, oh an a nice earl grey
OG - lol, yeah yeah
JB - yeah! what kind of retorte is that?????????????
OG - a sarcastic 1!! get yourself on scrabble then and we'll play dirty words only :-)
JB - id rather get naked n do rude things, and yes ive had a cider, i dont normally do bright intelligent pretty girls
OG - LMAO!!!! Well thank you! I think? (I'm assuming I'm the pretty intelligent one, unless you have company!). Anytime Mr B, anytime ;-)
JB - no i wasnt talking bout you, ha im not that drunk!!!!! ha
OG - cheeky sod! bugger off to your pretty girl then :-p
JB - bugger off meaning call you, and pretty girl meaning my ipod and avenged sevenfold
OG - I repeat... lol, yeah yeah. You know you love me longtime !
Now what to make of that?!!?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Later...
Excellent to see you and X today hun, even though I'm now known as Mr Cuddly! See you soon xx
Anytime hun. And they're only jealous cos you're my favourite cuddler! Don't be a stranger x
Ha, I won't be hun, have a busy day tomorrow, have a book to read. Will text you tomorrow evening hun xxx
Enjoy x
I think I will hun x
Back in December when I saw him last I was (re)reading one of my all time favourite books, one of those that should be on everyone's list to read, and I really thought that he would love it too, particularly as he wasn't in the greatest place of all at the time, so I had text and told him I had a present for him and then mentioned it again on his birthday in March, so I took it with me yesterday. My intentions had originally been to buy him a copy but decided to give him my own prized copy instead - I think that adds something a bit more personal to the mix as well - and I wrote the following little message in the inside cover: "J, for the times you want to get away but can't - maybe there's a reason you stay. The best of days to you Mr B, OG". He seemed pleased to get it and he also seemed to appreciate the gesture and the sentiment.
So I'm pleased that he text me, and pleased that he is pleased about his book and wanting to read it straight away. To me that is the mark of a gift that is appreciated. I hope he loves it as much as I do and that he also gets something from it other than the pleasure of reading it. I'm surprised he said he'll text tomorrow evening, and partly expecting him to do so; as I don't think he's the type to say and not do, equally I'm not expecting to hear from him again for a few months, so who knows. As I've said before, I'm not willing to push anything with anyone at the moment, and least of all someone I've known for such a long time and will continue to know for a long time to come. In this instance, perhaps for the first time in my life, I'm definitely going with "whatever will be will be". (Oooh, thinking about it I've been looking for a new saying, and that might just be the next tattoo!)
Anytime hun. And they're only jealous cos you're my favourite cuddler! Don't be a stranger x
Ha, I won't be hun, have a busy day tomorrow, have a book to read. Will text you tomorrow evening hun xxx
Enjoy x
I think I will hun x
Back in December when I saw him last I was (re)reading one of my all time favourite books, one of those that should be on everyone's list to read, and I really thought that he would love it too, particularly as he wasn't in the greatest place of all at the time, so I had text and told him I had a present for him and then mentioned it again on his birthday in March, so I took it with me yesterday. My intentions had originally been to buy him a copy but decided to give him my own prized copy instead - I think that adds something a bit more personal to the mix as well - and I wrote the following little message in the inside cover: "J, for the times you want to get away but can't - maybe there's a reason you stay. The best of days to you Mr B, OG". He seemed pleased to get it and he also seemed to appreciate the gesture and the sentiment.
So I'm pleased that he text me, and pleased that he is pleased about his book and wanting to read it straight away. To me that is the mark of a gift that is appreciated. I hope he loves it as much as I do and that he also gets something from it other than the pleasure of reading it. I'm surprised he said he'll text tomorrow evening, and partly expecting him to do so; as I don't think he's the type to say and not do, equally I'm not expecting to hear from him again for a few months, so who knows. As I've said before, I'm not willing to push anything with anyone at the moment, and least of all someone I've known for such a long time and will continue to know for a long time to come. In this instance, perhaps for the first time in my life, I'm definitely going with "whatever will be will be". (Oooh, thinking about it I've been looking for a new saying, and that might just be the next tattoo!)
I feel happy, yeah yeah yeah
Well I have just got back from a couple of hours at the pub with the lovely JB. I decided to go in the end, after nipping home from work to straighten my hair, top up my "natural, been at work all day" make up and get changed! I was hoping to pop and see him for an hour with X, but I text him about 4.30pm and he didn't reply for half an hour (which he apologised for when I saw him) so by the time I heard back from him I'd started to resign myself to not going and had to collect X from the childminders by then, so she came with me.
It was just lovely to see him to be honest. He really is absolutely one of the good guys (though he has his flaws of course, like anybody) and I always enjoy spending time with him. There were no real zing zings of passing sparks between us but we did do lots of hugging and kissing (in a friendly way) and he is someone I feel very comfortable with, with the fancying a secondary experience, though that said I still absolutely would! He made me laugh by mentioning he had had a few drinks last night, hence the naked text, but he didn't go out of his way to back track from it, and we are always quite comfortable in each other's company, making reference to the shag many years ago quite easily. He made a few references about planning going out next time, and for me to ring him etc, which I gave him much ribbing about blowing me out and how I wasn't going to be asking him to go out or come round any time soon, and he said he would text me.
So we shall see. He seems to be getting his life a little back on track, starting work again in a couple of weeks, and sounding like he is going to be raking it in, and moving into a mutual friend of ours (which helpfully is about 5 mins walk away from me!), all of which I'm really pleased for him, he has definitely had a rough trot the last couple of years, including the death of his eldest son (who was about the same age as Y), being made redundant twice and having to move back to his parents (with a mother who hates him!) for the last 6 months. So it was great to see good things happening for him and I hope they continue. I also, of course, hope that I get to see him more often (even without the added bonus of some physical stuff) as spending time with him always makes me happy, and I think he could be just what I need. Although, we've been friends for 20 years and just an increase in that would be great, a little more than friends would certainly be a little more than great!
It was just lovely to see him to be honest. He really is absolutely one of the good guys (though he has his flaws of course, like anybody) and I always enjoy spending time with him. There were no real zing zings of passing sparks between us but we did do lots of hugging and kissing (in a friendly way) and he is someone I feel very comfortable with, with the fancying a secondary experience, though that said I still absolutely would! He made me laugh by mentioning he had had a few drinks last night, hence the naked text, but he didn't go out of his way to back track from it, and we are always quite comfortable in each other's company, making reference to the shag many years ago quite easily. He made a few references about planning going out next time, and for me to ring him etc, which I gave him much ribbing about blowing me out and how I wasn't going to be asking him to go out or come round any time soon, and he said he would text me.
So we shall see. He seems to be getting his life a little back on track, starting work again in a couple of weeks, and sounding like he is going to be raking it in, and moving into a mutual friend of ours (which helpfully is about 5 mins walk away from me!), all of which I'm really pleased for him, he has definitely had a rough trot the last couple of years, including the death of his eldest son (who was about the same age as Y), being made redundant twice and having to move back to his parents (with a mother who hates him!) for the last 6 months. So it was great to see good things happening for him and I hope they continue. I also, of course, hope that I get to see him more often (even without the added bonus of some physical stuff) as spending time with him always makes me happy, and I think he could be just what I need. Although, we've been friends for 20 years and just an increase in that would be great, a little more than friends would certainly be a little more than great!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Out of the blue
My lovely friend Disco came to visit last night, and we had a lovely time catching up and discussing men, as she has just split up with her boyfriend (again!). I was bemoaning my lack of activity in the men department and how I had had absolutely nothing to of interest to report since the very brief distraction of JB. Who, if you remember, never replied to my valentines email and has been quite quiet on the facebook front ever since, and rarely, rarely texts me!
Well, not 24hrs after discussion of him, randomly out of the blue he texts me! For prosperity, as follows:
Hi hun, just saying hello, hope ya all good xx
Hello my lovely, how are you? You seem to have been a bit quiet lately, all okay? x
Yes hun, all good. Been working a bit, ha, gonna move in with *mutual friend soon. Thinking about fucking off, wanna go to Norway!
Well that's good on both counts. Can completely understand where you're coming from, I love England but SO want to travel the world. Maybe some day for both of us! Let me know when you have a new address or are about for a catch up, I still have your pressie. x
I will do hun. I will take you up a mountain one day soon. Its quite scary so I may have to give you a cuddle, naked is a given, ha
Lol, I'd need some serious reward to get me up a bloody mountain :-)
Ha, it's a reward just to see the view hun, but if you come with me, good food and a night under the stars, its beautiful.
Will be in the *local pub tomorrow about 3 if you free hun. Be good to see you x
Am working tomorrow :-( Might get off bit early and have a free hour about half four. Will give you a text if can make it. Take care hun x
How very random! I'm not sure quite what to make of it to be honest, but will see what tomorrow brings and see how I feel then. I might just pop down the pub for an hour, see how the land lies! Quite amusing though! Perhaps my new heart factory is working after all!
Well, not 24hrs after discussion of him, randomly out of the blue he texts me! For prosperity, as follows:
Hi hun, just saying hello, hope ya all good xx
Hello my lovely, how are you? You seem to have been a bit quiet lately, all okay? x
Yes hun, all good. Been working a bit, ha, gonna move in with *mutual friend soon. Thinking about fucking off, wanna go to Norway!
Well that's good on both counts. Can completely understand where you're coming from, I love England but SO want to travel the world. Maybe some day for both of us! Let me know when you have a new address or are about for a catch up, I still have your pressie. x
I will do hun. I will take you up a mountain one day soon. Its quite scary so I may have to give you a cuddle, naked is a given, ha
Lol, I'd need some serious reward to get me up a bloody mountain :-)
Ha, it's a reward just to see the view hun, but if you come with me, good food and a night under the stars, its beautiful.
Will be in the *local pub tomorrow about 3 if you free hun. Be good to see you x
Am working tomorrow :-( Might get off bit early and have a free hour about half four. Will give you a text if can make it. Take care hun x
How very random! I'm not sure quite what to make of it to be honest, but will see what tomorrow brings and see how I feel then. I might just pop down the pub for an hour, see how the land lies! Quite amusing though! Perhaps my new heart factory is working after all!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Hearts are indeed made in factories
I treated myself today. The byline particularly attracted me...
I've grown weary of being told I don't have a heart. If you are lacking a heart or tired of your heart being broken it would be wise to invest in your own tiny heart factory.
I've grown weary of being told I don't have a heart. If you are lacking a heart or tired of your heart being broken it would be wise to invest in your own tiny heart factory.
Isn't it just the cutest? I suspect I may add a few more of these little Pearson Maron beauties to my collection over time. All I have to do now is wait for it to wing it's way across the Pond.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Treading water...
... is what I am in doing in general at the moment, and most likely what I will be doing for the next few years as well.
The energy required to raise two children singlehandedly, whilst working full time and intermittent studying and socialising for the last 14-15yrs has taken it's toll and I am currently in cruise mode. That is fine. I love my children. I love my job. I have achieved house and career movement in the last few years. In general, my life is just fine.
Fine can, of course, only last so long. I am an all or nothing kind of girl, and at the moment I opt for nothing, because if I chose everything I couldn't cope. I want a one true love again. I want to be consumed with a person again. I want the space in my life to give myself, fully.
I don't have that space right now. I don't have the energy right now. I don't have the circumstances right now. So, at the moment I am treading water, letting life just pass me by whilst my children grow, my bank account becomes less hazardous and I continue to heal emotionally from the trauma of DM. I am happy to tread water. For once, I am long term happy with calm.
For now at least.
The energy required to raise two children singlehandedly, whilst working full time and intermittent studying and socialising for the last 14-15yrs has taken it's toll and I am currently in cruise mode. That is fine. I love my children. I love my job. I have achieved house and career movement in the last few years. In general, my life is just fine.
Fine can, of course, only last so long. I am an all or nothing kind of girl, and at the moment I opt for nothing, because if I chose everything I couldn't cope. I want a one true love again. I want to be consumed with a person again. I want the space in my life to give myself, fully.
I don't have that space right now. I don't have the energy right now. I don't have the circumstances right now. So, at the moment I am treading water, letting life just pass me by whilst my children grow, my bank account becomes less hazardous and I continue to heal emotionally from the trauma of DM. I am happy to tread water. For once, I am long term happy with calm.
For now at least.
Pretentions
With calm comes time and space for boredom. With boredom (and days off work!) comes time to spend aimlessly on the internet. With time on the internet comes random dips into random blogs.
The pretentiousness of people who blog both astounds me, and bores me further. Of the many, many, many I have viewed today, only a couple interested me enough to bother to read past the first few posts, and even less inclined me to comment. So, just a brief thought for today...
Hey bloggers (myself included)... get over yourselves!!
The pretentiousness of people who blog both astounds me, and bores me further. Of the many, many, many I have viewed today, only a couple interested me enough to bother to read past the first few posts, and even less inclined me to comment. So, just a brief thought for today...
Hey bloggers (myself included)... get over yourselves!!
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Chocolate galore
Having spent the long weekend off work, in Oxford, visiting Little Sis and hubby and eating way too much chocolate, cheese and biscuits and other festive. fabulous and fattening food, I so didn't want to get out of bed to go to work this morning. The saving grace is that I'm off again tomorrow, yippee!! A lay in awaits for me.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Good and Bad Friday
Yesterday, nagged by X, I filled in a competition slip for something or other that Magnum are promoting whilst in Tesco. This resulted in being allowed to pick an instant win ticket for a Ipod shuffle stylee Mp3 player - and lo and behold, we won!
Today, my baby fishy, which I have lovingly watched for the past nine days, appears to be no more.
I guess that's karma!
Today, my baby fishy, which I have lovingly watched for the past nine days, appears to be no more.
I guess that's karma!
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Satisfaction guaranteed
Today I have bought the kids easter eggs (and paid for X to buy me one of course!) and a lovely roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings for tomorrow afternoon, as well as cleaned my kitchen, back hallway and downstairs toilet from top to toe, and sorted out my winter wardrobe into my summer wardrobe! A most satisfying day!
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