Fear

I have just been so frightened I can't tell you! I'm still quite tearful about it and am not sure I can even relay this coherently - definitely not in any way to give it justice.

My car wouldnt start yesterday - sure its nothing more than too cold weather, the too short journeys and a too old battery, but either way it means that I had no car yesterday, and as I couldn't get a hold of my dad I had no working car today either. As a result, I am at home today - working away on my laptop, when a large white van pulls up outside and a man knocks on the door. My initial expectation is that it might be a parcel - having recently ordered some new M&S undies - but on opening the door it becomes apparent that it is a bailiff! Now, I know I have a catalogue debt which I have been paying off, but is outstanding, and is currently at about £150, so I'm expecting it to be him and I'm expecting to not let him in.

However, he says its for a parking fine from January 2009 and that he has come to take my car!!! Seriously, I remember getting a parking ticket in the council car park that I park in, which I have a permit for, which I was going to ring and get cancelled but never did - and as I hadn't heard anything I assumed it had gone away, or that someone had realised when issuing the permits that I could park there legally. I had literally heard nothing - until today, when a bailiff is telling me I need to pay £380 or have my car towed away.

I don't have £380 lying around my house, or even in a credit or debit account, and although he was very pleasant, he wouldnt let me sort it and then pay later - it was now or the car. I tell you, I have rarely been so upset in my life. I can't imagine not having a car - I can't imagine how I would cope with work, life, everything - and even though I should probably not have ignored the ticket, its hard to imagine a year later, after hearing nothing, you can just have your car towed away!!! He said they don't usually knock, they just hook it up and tow it.

In the end I had to ring my mum, to see if she would pay it, in floods of tears, which I don't think my mum has ever heard from me (well, not since I was a child!!) because I couldn't think what to do and I was just so scared! Apparently they had written to my previous address, but as I only recently changed my address with the DVLA nothing had come here. He initially said that I had had a letter here 2 weeks ago, but I know I didn't, and later when he checked again the letter was only posted 2nd class yesterday to my current address, so as he knew I hadnt had first letter he let me pay the £123 instead of towing my car.

So he has gone, the bailiff stuff has finished - I am going to ring the council and see if I can reclaim on the basis I have a permit for that car park in the first place, though I doubt I will get anywhere. In fact, it is probably better to write, as I'm sure thats what they will tell me to do anyway.

It might sound like nothing, just a bit of money and all sorted now - but it has really shaken me up - just feeling so powerless and frustrated, and I hate having to be in a position to rely on other people, especially when it comes to money. I really, really need to get myself more financially stable this year - I hate that I'm not, and I know I don't help the situation. I just hope the year gets better than its been so far!