Had a phone call from good friend Fran (another UKer departed to New Zealand) tonight, which was great. We just chatted generally, as you do when you've been friends for years, and caught up on the latest going ons in each others lives, and inevitably the conversation turned to men, or, in my case, the lack of.
I'm really not bothered about men at the moment. Really! I wouldn't say no if Mr Right (or even Mr Right Now) turned up on the doorstep, but I'm completely not bothered if that doesn't happen for a while, even a long while, and Fran said something that really got me thinking... "Well, in the past, you have gone out with a fair number of blokes more as kind of projects than because you met them, liked them, met them again, and so on".
Since the phone call ended I've been thinking about this, and I have to concede she does have a point! In the past, my "relationships" (and they have been many and varied) have been a lot about meeting blokes and getting them "hooked" I suppose, although not as mercenary or as consciously as this sounds here. More about getting myself caught up in that cycle unconsciously (more often than not, though not always), and then ending with an inevitable boredom once I realise they are where I want them.
They haven't all ended like that, of course, and it's interesting that in the main, the memorable ones are the ones that "didn't play the game", or rather that didn't let themselves become CG devotees! I think I might need to consider this, and the implications of this on any future relationships a little more. It's not a pattern I particularly want to continue, but it's really the only pattern I know.
I guess for now, both myself and the local blokes should be glad I have a house project to focus on instead!
Saturday, January 05, 2008
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13 comments:
Let me guess... what you really wish for is a man that doesn't have to be fixed and so isn't a project that you'll outgrow?
I know the feeling, honey. Unfortunately I'm not sure that any men exist in that form! :-O
Anytime a relationship is a game it is bound to end badly.
It is strange isn't it when we suddenly realise the patterns of our relationship behaviour, me I've always gone for the ones I can't have, only to predictably not want them once I've got them. ahem. I'm sure a house will be far more satisfying anyway CG! Hugs x
I think I kind of do something similar but like you not meaning to
Yep, I go for projects. Not any more though (okay, I've picked up a gay one, but that's different!)
I'm with you. Stuff the men, concentrate on ourselves!
men.... can't do without them...etc.
yeah a house sounds so much more satisfying, well apart from the lack of orgasms!!
pxx
When my sister stopped looking for Mr Right he popped out of nowhere. Enjoy your house project and see where life takes you eh.
When my sister stopped looking for Mr Right he popped out of nowhere. Enjoy your house project and see where life takes you eh.
Cynic.
My problem is that I like to kick start projects but I'm not a start-finish guy. I get bored with seeing things through to a conclusion. I sympathise!
giving all that a wide birth for now,
happy new year, x
All those broken hearts and fractured egos, you wicked girl.
Hmm, I've had projects to find someone, but once they've been found it either happened or it didn't. The thrill was in the variety of the happening, there was no set pattern.
What do you want to bet, now you're not looking, someone will pop up in the next month?
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