Weekend - part 2 - The M situation (Friday)

Hey all, apologies for not updating more last night, but I was busy doing the rambling, wailing and generally chitter chattering in real life and by the time I had finished that I was too tired to update here. But no fear, I am back!!

So, Friday night, after the flirty texting from M the night before, I got a text from him about 7.30pm to ask if I knew what time I would be round after Robbie as he had to be up at 3.30am for work!! After several texts he suggested and I agreed that he would go to bed early and leave the door open and I would just let myself in when I got back. This I did. I have to say here that that was actually really freaky!!!

I got round there about 12.30pm to find him fast asleep in the bed, all snuggled and warm, etc. Now, I had only been round there once, and only shagged him once, and that was a month ago!! So, I stood there not knowing quite what to do with myself! Should I strip off, clamber into bed with him and start kissing, fondling, etc? But what if he woke up all of a start and freaked out???!!! Should I stay clothed and gently try to wake him first? But what if he thought that was weird as I was round on a booty call???!!! Should I just go home and call it a night? But what if this was my chance for some really good shagging???!!! Then I realised I had been stood pondering the question for the last five minutes, and if he woke up now I would look like a real bunny boiler stood by the side of the bed watching him!!!!! Jeez, the complications!!

In the end I decided to do half measures, in that I took off my jeans and jumper but kept my underwear and vest top on, and got on top of the bed. I then woke him by speaking to him. It took him a few minutes to come round, bless him, (he had only been in bed for two hours!) and I decided I had made the right decision!

So, we are chatting about Robbie (the God), and the concert, and general shit, and I'm thinking... here we go again, all talk and no action! But then we managed to get it on :-) And whilst it was a little faster than I would have anticipated!!! (And he was mortified by that, which was a shame as it really doesn't bother me unless they can't recover sufficiently to go again, but his embarrassment kind of put the end to it, and the prospect of only 2 more hours til work waking time didnt help!!) The sex itself was fantastic actually! Despite the fact he is not over endowed, the actual feel of him sliding into me was extremely filling, and something I have been having naughty thoughts about ever since!! Damn those naughty thoughts!!

So, we both went to sleep, to be woken by the alarm and dragged out of bed at 4am! And I left feeling we were progressing with the situation, and it would just need some work to get there. And I'm willing to put the effort in to get some long term shagging rewards!! And I dont care what anybody says, its very rare that the first few times you shag you have a fantastic time, it takes time to get to know what buttons to push, etc. So, I was looking forward to trying to pick up the pace a little (to avoid that infrequent sex = too quick cumming problem), and to hopefully see him Saturday night and pick up where we left off...!!

Before we get to Saturday night, which after the good time Friday night turned out to be a major disappointment and a head fuck for twatty me!, a bit of background is probably in order... It may get a little complicated but will hopefully make sense!! And bear with me, I do have a point....!!

I have known M from drinking in the local pub for about ten years probably. You know how it is, you know a friend of a friend and so on and so on, and we have been chatty when we bump into each other etc but he would never have been what I called a friend (up until recently when he gave me his number, we went out for a drink and have now shagged!!).

In actual fact it is his friend KD that I know better, and about 8 years ago he and I started to spend much more time together. He would come round in the evening and we would talk and laugh, etc. After a couple of weeks of seeing him nearly every night, and me quite fancying the pants off him by now (exasperated by the fact he wasn't making any moves!!) the inevitable happened and we ended up sleeping together. BIG MISTAKE!! Now without wanting to appear shallow, it just didn't happen for me! And although up until this point I had been thinking we maybe had a potential relationship future after that night there was no way I could go there again. Now, to clarify it wasn't that he was completely awful (he had a very small willy but he was very into me, and the sex, and very keen to please in other ways etc), it was just that it wasn't right with me and him, on my part anyway!!

Now, I'm ashamed to say I didn't handle the situation very well, and instead of confronting it and speaking openly and honestly to KD about it I just chose the cowardly way and to ignore it. So I went down the route of just not being available for a while, and then when I saw him keeping it very friendly and not sexual, etc etc. To this day this is not something I am proud of, and as I still consider him to be amate of mine and genuinely like him very much, I still feel quite bad about the fact that he had to deal with knowing I was well into him, slept with him once and stopped being into him.

This situation isn't helped by the fact that I know he still has a soft spot for me, and whenever I see him about he is always really really complimentary about how I look, and says he wishes he saw more of me, etc etc. In fact this makes it a whole lot worse! Ok, so the point of this information is that he is M's best mate!! M knows how KD feels about me, he knows how I feel about KD. It's beginning to get a little complicated.

Next...! (God this all sounds so fucking bad when I type it out, and it so isnt really!) KD has a cousin, CM. Who I have also known for a long time and who I have a lot, lot, lot of respect for! He is genuinely a great bloke! For a long time he was married, then he split up with his wife, then went back to her to try again, had another baby, and has now recently split up with her again. For good (I hope, as she's a nasty piece of work!). Now although CM has never made a move on me, or voiced anything, I know he has always had a soft spot for me too. You just know these things.

There was a time many years ago (during his first split) that I considered taking this further, and there were a couple of occasions where I gave him a lift home or some such and it seemed a possibility, but I always backed out of pushing it and he never made the move. If I'm honest I suppose in the back of my mind I have always thought 'maybe one day when I'm older and done playing the field...'. And I've never been sure if I am attracted to him in that carnal way.

Keeping up?? So, to refresh... we have KD, my mate and also the one night shag from 8yrs ago that I treated badly but still has a soft spot for me. We have CM (KD's cousin), my mate who I hugely like and respect but nothing has ever happened with, who has a soft spot for me and is newly single, and finally we have M, the newly acquired fuck buddy! All of whom (excepting M in the last month) I only see if I bump into them around town, which is probably every couple of months. These 3 are tight, as friends to each other. Really good long term friends to each other. So, there's your background! Are you beginning to see any potential issues here...?

To get to present day, M expressed concerns right at the outset about hurting KD by sleeping with me, but we talked about it and decided that as we weren't going to go anywhere (other than bed!), and as it was a long time ago and I have no interest in KD in that way, we would just not tell him. I have no desire for him to be hurt or for their friendship to wobble, and I thought it was over a long time ago and while he may still have a soft spot that was all it was so it couldn't be that big a deal.

However, it seems that after the initial night M and I shagged, KD gave him a real grilling about whether anything had happened with us, which M of course denied, but KD had again been telling M how much he liked me and how hereally missed seeing me, etc etc. On top of this, M tells me on Friday that he had told CM about us, which really really bothered me for some reason. This bothering me has been part of my head fuck this weekend, which I will get on to later. So, with all of this background information, on to Saturday night....