I woke up this morning to a text from DM saying he hadn't replied to my text because he hadn't received it. Which means he knows from here, which means he's still checking in. I had a feeling he was, a feeling that the very tiny, very strained thread of connection hadn't completely snapped, but after his last couple of anonymous posts, and considering some of the content here, I thought he had gone. But now I know for sure that that isn't the case. I don't understand that? I don't know why he is reading? I don't understand why he would let me know he is reading?
I originally sent him the link because he was so much a part of it. After my (somewhat laughable now) "closure" I assumed he would just disappear. He didn't, but with time I assumed he would just lose interest. That he would be so busy with his "perfect" life that he wouldn't bother with mine. I don't understand why he would even be remotely interested in my life anymore? He obviously doesn't want to be a part of it.
I don't know how I feel about this now? I'm not sure if I will have to leave? Maybe I will move blogs and start again...? I don't know, I just don't know!!
Monday, November 13, 2006
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15 comments:
Well maybe he will come clean and own up if he is still reading, which seems fairly obvious given the circumstances.
If you get a new blog and still comment on your usual sites, he would soon find out your new blog if he wanted to.
Personally I'd stick with your blog and if for some sadistic reason he gets some pleasure from reading how much he fucked your head up, then he isn't worth knowing anyway.
Otherwise he should either stop reading or at least be up front about it.
Sounds like a bit of a twat if you ask me! Ok you didn't but I don't need asking to give my opinion on things!
Besides we would miss OG!!! So no buggering off and that's an order!!
Oooh, isn't he lovely when he's all masterful?!
What he said is true tho, babe. Stay where you are and sod him.
xx
Of course i'm still reading what you write Sam, and I think you want me to, too, that was the reason for sending me the link in the first place wasn't it?? I also think you want me to keep on reading it, that's why you text me, you need to know that i'm still reading it.
There are two reasons that I still read it. One: Your writing about me and what little you know about me now. And, two, for some reason I still care what happens to you. I don't have to be shagging someone to care about them and what they get up to. I dont care any more what you get upto with other people, that's your choice, I do care, however, that you try to put down what i'm doing here when you don't have a fucking clue.
You're the one that keeps this going, it's not me at all. It's in your hands to stop it, not mine. I'm trying to get on with my normal, single life as best as I can, that's all. "A bit of a twat"!?! maybe! But, i'm having a fucking ball and loving it.
Your not going to change your blog now are you Sam?? you'll just end up sending me the link again, when there's something that you want me to read. All you have to do is tell me to never read it again and I wont, simple! you know very well you won't have to doubt me.
Darren, I dont think O.G wanted us to know her real name else she would have mentioned it not so? Maybe best if you do keep reading that you also respect the unwritten law of Blog? Privacy is respected Thank you very much!
O.G. this is your forum to write what you feel driven to, so then stay. What does it matter if Darren reads it anyway? You have to get on with your life... stuff what anybody else thinks about it. Write what you want, about what you want. Nobody judges and no one will reject you for it either. Your past is just that... your past. You cannot change it. It is a life lesson that we all need to learn from. Dont cheapen it by holding on to what could have, should have been. Embrace it, accept it and move on...
I, for one, would be devestated if you were to disappear from my on-line life.
Don't let anyone chase you away. It would be so easy to give in but I think, no I know, that you have a lot more fight in you than that.
No-one makes anyone read a blog, they read it because they want to, maybe because they need to but it is their choice to do so and not yours.
Let's face it, even if you told DM not to read it anymore I'm betting that he just wouldn't be able to stop himself.
Hi OG - hope you decide to stay.
Don't worry about this DM thing - once you 'show' him that you've really moved on then he's not going to bother reading this for very long (and if he does, why should you care?)
don't leave OG!! I'm obviously v new to the blogging thing, but would miss you so much if you went. I think the main reason DM reads is because his ego won't let him NOT read. You keep writing girl - you are moving on and have come a long way with the DM thing since you first started writing your blog...don't let him control this or any part of your life now. Hang in there, Gxx
Hey, Blogger has ways of blocking people from viewing if you know their IP address or range. Fire me a line if you want more detail
Hey OG,
Don't go!!! Take up The boys offer if it bothers you that much. We can't lose a member of the family! And I really hope Darrens comment hasn't hurt you too much. This is definately why I don't want AC to know my blog address. I know how hard it is to get on with life when the one you want is living the life elsewhere in the world (had the same with Rat) I got over it, so will you!
but I also see that this is like you said OG, your last line of communication with him, I honestly dont think you want it cut or you wouldnt have texted him to begin with.
Ohno, Am I gonna be shot down in flames if I say DM's comment seemed reasonable to me. You did give him the link and you did text keep up contact. Don't worry about him reading or not. If you write what you want, then it shouldnt matter whether he does or doesnt read. Even if its about him.
never yet met a darren that I liked. Doubt this one's any different. Whatever the background to this, whether OG sent the link or not, whether she wants him to read or not, to post as you did Darren kind of summed up all the 'dazzas' of the world.... and you are aren't you? a dazza that is.
OG you stick around girl. If you want him to read it then that's fine. Hopefully it's helping you reach a point where you can move on fully.
lol at anon hating all Darren's (Dazza - so classy!) ... come to think of it, I've never met a decent darren either!!
Are you ok OG? unlike u to not post
Thank you all! Comments duly noted and appreciated. (welcome to anon by the way!). All done now, so enough said!
Time for new adventures me feels ;-)
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