Weary

We have arrived!!  After 4 flights, totalling 24 hours, plus layovers totalling 11 hours, we are finally in New Zealand!  Just got to try and stay awake til bedtime now...

Holidays are coming...!

Well, holidays are coming a little earlier than usual this year!  X, Y and I are currently in a hotel at  Gatwick Airport as tomorrow we will be on a 3 week tour of New Zealand, to visit ATM for Christmas, and my other friend, Fran for New Year, followed by a few days in Sydney :-)  Best get some sleep before the epic journey commences....!

Happy Birthday to me...

Having spent a lovely day with my sister being pampered at Ragdale Hall today I now have a banging headache!  Bit rubbish!  Maybe Babycham will help...!

That Time of Year Again...

Last night involved a night out with the usual clan for the obligatory birthday celebrations (this year's consisted of much jigging and bad Irish dancing to a Celtic band in a nearby town!), and Mr DDE (Drug Dealer Extaordinaire) did indeed turn up with my (and his) friend Disco!  He was a bit reticent to come down to join us (too many people, too crowded, too hot, blah blah), but I'm not a woman who easily takes a No, so with a little persuading and leading by the hand (literally!) he came and joined the fun, though was obviously not the most comfortable.  Bless!!

So, some chatting and mild flirting (from me, can't help myself) occurred, but nothing significant. I was driving, so cracking on fully would have been a big deal involving much discussion with mates getting lifts, and I'm not 100% yet!  I do like him, find him funny, there is a definite (and I think mutual) twinkle, but not feeling desperate to rip his clothes off!  (That said, I wasn't desperate to rip DMs clothes off the first night, but once done... well we all know that story... !!).

On saying goodbye, with obligatory hugs, etc I did say to him "Get my number from Disco and we'll catch up in January when I'm back", and he said he would, so the balls in his court now.  Have to say I'm mildly miffed that he hasn't already requested it, lol. I'd ideally like to have seen him and got a better sense of things ( and at least a snog!) before I go away, but then I've never been the most patient, lol.

I have had some girly text conversation with Disco this morning, who reckons he won't know I'm putting it out there because all could be construed as just friendly, which is how I've played it, but knowing her I'm sure she will be meddling and I'm kind of OK with that!  Watch this space I guess...

The Girl's Still Got It

For the purposes of posterity, (and recording the start of something or the start of nothing!) I had better record a bit more detail about Mr DDE (Drug Dealer Extraordinaire), and how I come to be in a place of considering him as a potential friend with benefits...

It was my friend Disco's 40th birthday celebrations last week, so there were a few old faces from the past out to celebrate, and one of these was Mr DDE (initially known as Mr H).

Now I remember him vaguely from a lot of messed up parties and good times from many moons ago, but to be honest I always found him patronising, boring and a bit of a know it all, and consequently, in all the times I'd been in the same vicinity over the years I have never had more than a 2 sentence conversation with him.

So, we're at the pub and I see him and think  "Oh God, its Mr H, fucks sake!".  About an hour into the evening I find myself reluctantly sat next to him and hacing to attempt the polite conversation required when you haven't seen someone for 10 years and didn't really like them then anyway...

However, much to my surprise, in the blink of an eye we were getting on famously, and he was making me laugh, and I was beginning to sense a twinkle!  We left the pub arm in a, twittering on nonsense about strolling the promenade, and being a fine figure of a woman and a most distinguished chap, and lots of stupid Downtown Abbey type crap that I've no idea where it came from, and it felt really nice, and happy, and all good, until I ask the innocent question of " What do you do?"...!

Following an extremely cagey response, which didnt fill me with glee, there ensued a bantering fifteen minutes or so with me guessing anything and everything from accountant to bin man to IT person (he looks like an IT Manager!), and getting nowhere, and also starting to have that slight sense of foreboding he was going to have a job that my shallow self would be slightly disappointed with. That said, nothing could have prepared me for my friend to finally say 'He's a drug dealer "!  You could probably have seen my chin drop from across the room!

Mr H (now to be referred to as Mr DDE) was a bit sheepish by now, and immediately said " You're disappointed aren't you?", which, although I tried to brush off, to be fair, I was!  It then all got a bit weird and we found ourselves quite quickly on opposite sides of the room and hardly any speaking going on for a while, and me feeling like that was it, and he probably thought I didn't even want to speak to him. So I made an effort, and before leaving for the next pub we'd reconnected slightly, although a bit more distant than we'd been before.

At some point he disappeared with a friend of mine, and even though I know they'd left to score, and that actually they don't really even like each other, I was very twitchy until they came back and I was sure nothing had happened there, which I guess told me something!  The evening came to an end, and by then everyone else, including him, was slightly messy, so it was the briefest of goodbyes and I didn't get a chance to say anything about seeing him again.

Fortunately, he is good friends with Disco, and as it is my birthday in a few weeks so I was able to get her to text him to say I was inviting him. To which he replied "Sweet, the girls still got it".  Yes, yes I have...!

New lows :-)

I'm considering shagging a drug dealer!  New lows have been sunk to!  That said, my life is far too lacking in excitement of late... ;-)

Goddamn

Why do all the blokes I fancy online seem to be bloody Taurean?  I'm sworn off for Life!

Time goes by

Hard to believe that it's been 2 years since my mum died!  Time certainly does move on regardless.

Dichotomy

I love, love, love a clean house :-)

I hate, hate, hate cleaning :-(

I think the day I throw my council house beginnings to the wind and hire some help are fast approaching.....!

Dreams

After a night of unwelcome dreams I'm feeling decidedly unsettled today.  In truth I guess its not the dreams that are unwelcome, its the waking to a different reality that still requires adjustment.  I don't know how or why this kind of thing can still affect me so much.

If only it was as easy as just asking...

Moving on... or not!

It doesn't seem to matter how much time goes past, the loss is always present, and even though the hurt is gone from the early days, there are still things that can sting more than a little. I'm not sure I'll ever truly come to terms with the situation.

Words...

One of X' s friends commented the other day that our house is very "wordy", lol.  I guess it is.  I love a good quote...

Happy Valentine's...!