Why is it so hard?

I've been very speculative just lately about what it is I want (aside from a house, more money, a nanny, cleaner, and lots of holidays of course!), more especially what I want from that dreaded "R" word. And I think I have found it... http://alfielovesemma.blogspot.com/. This sums up what it is I want! That depth of feeling, the continuation of that feeling, the knowledge of being in the right place with the right person; a shared, fondly remembered past, a current and exciting present, and a planned and anticipated future. That's it really. I read their lives with joy and with envy, long may they continue.

So why is what they have so hard to find? I know that not everybody wants what I want, or needs what I need, but everybody has their own set of criteria or wishlist, and so many of us seem unfulfilled in this aspect.

It seems like everywhere I go in Blogland I read blogs from attractive, intelligent, sexual women (and men) who, like me, are on this eternal quest, or are "settled" in relationships that don't fulfill them. In real life, I talk to friends in similar situations to mine (parents or childless), looking for somebody to share their lives with, to share experiences with, to build a future with. There are internet dating sites galore and real ife social opportunities to meet people abound, with more chance of meeting "the person of your dreams" than possibly ever before. And yet, the romantic world seems full of more dissatisfaction than ever.

Do we demand too much these days? Do we have unrealistic expectations about life and love? Are we privy to so much more opportunity and chances that we dare not settle for this one in case there is something/someone better waiting round the corner? Has society become so disposable that even relationships are seen as something to use and discard? Have we had our eyes opened so much that we cannot accept what is presented to us and available for us? Have we lost the ability to accept and to try?

I don't know the answers to these questions. I wish I did. But I wonder sometimes if we have gone too far down the path of striving for better. Whether the acceptance years ago that you married, you worked hard at it, and you stayed together produced more cases of "true love" than all the modern opportunities for independance and choice that we have today. And is it too late to go back?

I think this generation (now 30's and 40's), with it's increasing divorce and diverse family situations, is the one that is bearing the brunt, and that this in time will pass, as nature and history swings from one period to the next; that society we will return to a time of valuing relationships, valuing family, having an acceptance that we need to work at what we have, but with the balance of continuing to promote choice and enabling opportunities for all. That by the time our grandchildren are grown, the pendulum will have begun to shift back, because we cannot sustain a society long-term the way we are at the moment.

I wonder sometimes if I personally would have benefitted from a life in a different history period. Whether a tighter more controlled society would have been a good thing for me, or whether a natural propensity for dissatisfaction would have prevailed and forced society to shun my opinions and my actions. Am I a product of my childhood and my generation, or would I have turned out this way however society around me was? I guess I will never know about the past, and only time will tell about the future.

I don't proclaim to be able to answer any of these rambling questions, or the myriad of others that trip through my brain, but sometimes I like to stop and think about the bigger picture. And besides... when my brain is working at least it keeps my hands out my knickers for five minutes!